Jamie is 13 years old, an unremarkable boy who leads an average life. Until one night he kills a classmate. The investigating police officers quickly find themselves in an atmosphere at Jamie’s school that is characterized by exaggerated images of masculinity, bullying, hostility and numerous allusions to the incel scene.
This is the story of Adolescence, a series that was released on Netflix in 2025 and made big waves. Because teenagers and young men can also come into contact with incel ideology online – and that is extremely problematic.
“Incel” is a mixture of the English words “involuntary” and “celibate” (“sexually abstinent”). This is how men who do not have romantic relationships with women describe themselves and suffer as a result. The term was originally coined in an online self-help group for shy people. In the meantime, however, it has developed into an ideology that has become increasingly radicalized.
Incels turn their frustration into hatred of women. They want a society in which women are subjugated and men are in charge – an extreme patriarchy. In forums and on social media platforms, they spread tips on how to be an ‘alpha male’, i.e. a particularly dominant “strong man” who manipulates and subjugates women. The advice ranges from seemingly harmless ‘fitness tips’ to clearly misogynistic strategies.
There are often overlaps with the far-right scene, which represents a similarly conservative gender image. One very well-known figure is Andrew Tate, who reaches millions of young followers on X, Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. With provocative statements and a conspicuous lifestyle – fast cars, expensive watches, women as a “status symbol” – he conveys to young people that masculinity means dominance and power.
The radical ideology has already resulted in several crimes – harassment, abuse and even murder of women. In the USA, Canada and Europe, there have been cases in which perpetrators have explicitly referred to the Incel scene. Authorities therefore now classify it as a security-relevant phenomenon.
Young people experience insecurity and self-doubt, especially in their youth, and go in search of role models – including online. If they come across incel groups, this can initially seem fascinating. The men present themselves as strong, confident and successful – and promise that their followers can become like them too.
There seems to be understanding, community and simple solutions here, especially for shy or lonely boys. “Someone finally understands me here” is how some young people describe the feeling when they come across videos or forums. The problematic and violence-glorifying ideas often only emerge later and are difficult to expose in catchy clips.
Social networks can amplify this effect: Anyone who comes into contact with such content is shown more and more of it by algorithms. The impression is created that this world view is “normal” and widespread. Memes, short clips and even secret emoji codes convey messages that parents are often unable to recognize. In this way, the scene can polarize and radicalize very quickly.
Self-worth, interaction with one another, gender images and values – all of these things are questioned and renegotiated in adolescence. Young people are looking for guidance and role models. It is important that they first find these at home and in their immediate environment. Therefore, make a conscious effort to treat each other with respect. Talk about your values and strengthen your child’s self-confidence. This is the best protection against turning to dubious role models.
If your child has already come into contact with content from the incel scene, remain open, interested and sensitive. Ask what interests or appeals to them, talk about issues and insecurities – and show understanding instead of judging. This is the only way to keep the conversation going.
It is also helpful:
And: If you have the impression that you are not getting anywhere yourself, get help – from trusted people, psychological professionals or services such as the Nummer gegen Kummer. Schools, youth welfare offices or advice centers can also provide support.
