Extreme role models on social media

“A real man doesn’t show any feelings” or “Women only want successful men” – when scrolling through TikTok, YouTube or Instagram, young people come across many ideas about how men or women are supposed to be. Some videos look like harmless dating tips, fitness motivation or lifestyle content. However, they may be based on extreme or oversimplified role models.

What is it all about?

A lot of content about relationships, dating or “real masculinity” is circulating on social media. Some creators convey clear rules about how men or women should supposedly be or behave. These are often about success, dominance, attractiveness or traditional roles in relationships. Some of these role models are also used by extremist groups to appeal to young people online.

The term “manosphere” keeps cropping up in this context. This refers to a loose network of online communities that deal with masculinity, relationships and gender roles. The content can be found on platforms such as TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Reddit or in podcasts.

Many posts initially seem like advice for young men: they should become more self-confident and muscular, earn more money or be more successful in dating. In some communities, however, oversimplified or misogynistic ideas are spread. For example, it is claimed that men are disadvantaged by equality or that they have to be dominant in relationships.

In addition to content like this, there are also trends that show very traditional female roles. In the so-called tradwife trend, influencers present a life as a “traditional wife” who mainly takes care of the household, family and her partner. The videos often appear aesthetic and deliberately staged.

Much of this content is not overtly extremist. Problematic messages about gender roles are often conveyed indirectly or linked to humor, lifestyle or motivation.

What fascinates children and young people about it?

Young people deal intensively with questions about identity, relationships and their place in the world. Content about role models can therefore have a major impact.

Some aspects may appeal particularly to young people:

• Simple answers to complex questions: videos provide clear rules on how men or women can supposedly be successful or attractive.
• Promise of success and recognition: influencers show wealth, self-confidence, physical fitness or status symbols and present them as achievable goals.
• Sense of belonging: Online communities provide a sense of community, especially for young people who feel insecure or excluded.
• Entertaining presentationProvocative statements, memes or short motivational videos spread particularly well on social media.

The Tradwife trend can also appeal to young people because it shows a seemingly harmonious life model. Conflicts or inequalities usually remain invisible in such videos. In addition, social platforms often suggest other similar content. This can give the impression that many people think this way.

What can be problematic?

Some of these videos or posts may contain problematic messages or reinforce extreme role models.

• Misogynistic statements: Women are devalued or blamed for the personal problems of boys and men.
• Rigid Role modelsBoys are expected to be dominant, successful and emotionally tough, while women are reduced to traditional roles.
• One-sided view of relationships: Videos can convey unrealistic expectations of partnerships or family life.
• RadicalizationSome content overlaps with anti-feminist or extremist ideologies and can serve as an entry point into corresponding online communities.

Social network algorithms can also contribute to young people seeing similar content more and more frequently, resulting in a one-sided view of the world.

How can parents deal with this?

Young people often come across such content by chance. This makes it all the more important to monitor their media use.

• Show an interest: Ask your child which videos or influencers they follow on social media. This will help you recognize early on which content plays a role.
• Talk about role models: Talk about what ideas about men and women are conveyed in the videos. Ask your child how they rate these statements themselves.
• Explain staging: A lot of content on social media is heavily staged. Creators often present a certain image or life model that does not necessarily correspond to reality.
• Algorithms understandable: platforms often suggest similar content. This can quickly create the impression that a certain opinion is particularly widespread.
• Show diverse role modelsChildren and young people benefit from learning about different lifestyles, such as different family forms or role models.

An open conversation about relationships, equality and what young people see on social media can help to critically classify extreme messages.