There are few phrases that make parents sweat faster when it comes to media education. Whether it’s about having their own smartphone, TikTok, games orscreen time, children and young people compare themselves with their peers. Parents can quickly come under pressure and perhaps ask themselves: Am I being too strict?
It is important to note that “everyone else” is almost never literally true. Children and young people usually mean a feeling. They want to belong. Media often plays a big role in their circle of friends. Especially during puberty, it is very important to be able to have a say and not be excluded. Stay calm and ask questions:
It often turns out that there are one or two children in the class – not really “everyone”. This brief inquiry takes the pressure off the situation and opens the door for a conversation.
There is usually more behind the phrase “Everyone else is allowed to do that” than just a desire for media. It’s often about belonging, being independent or negotiating with you. Try to recognize what is behind this in your child. Then the conversation will be calmer and you can find solutions together.
Don’t just say the rules, explain them. A simple “no” often leads to resistance. An explanation has a different effect:
If your child understands why certain rules exist, he or she will be better able to accept them.
Get in touch with other parents! Because many parents face the same questions. It often turns out: No one knows exactly what “everyone” is doing. Perhaps you can find common ground with parents in your environment.
At the same time, you can stick to your decisions. Because media education is different in every family. Every family has its own values, habits and boundaries. Children develop at different speeds – you should take this into account when making decisions. Other families may do things differently.
If you notice that the issue is not going away – try out graduated solutions and be sure to observe technical parental control settings. Small steps can be helpful:
This way, your child will feel taken seriously without all the rules being lifted. It is best to agree media rules together. A media usage agreement, for example, can help with this.
Your child should learn to use media independently and safely. To do this, your child needs clear rules – and parents who listen. Stay in contact with your child, make comprehensible decisions together and show genuine interest in your child’s everyday media life and media role models. This will build trust. And trust is the best basis for conscious media use.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
