“Just one more round!” or “Leon can watch TV much longer!” – Many parents are familiar with phrases like these. But how much media time is actually okay? Which media is suitable for my child? And at what age does it make sense for them to have their own smartphone? Fixed rules can help to find answers to these questions. However, they can also lead to conflicts. We have a few tips and background information on setting media rules in the family.
Rules are not there to enforce the will of parents, but to provide structure and guidance. They help to promote your child’s media skills and reduce the risk of problems caused by inappropriate use of media. As parents, you have the responsibility to combine the fun of media with a conscious approach. You are often better at assessing dangers than your child.
It is important that your child understands the rules and can follow them. It is best to develop the rules together with your child. This will make your child realize that their opinion counts and it will be easier for them to accept the rules. Explain to your child why certain rules are important and why they should be followed. If rules are not clearly formulated or are interpreted differently, your child will find it difficult to follow them. Another crucial point is that you as parents are role models – this means that you should follow the same rules yourself.
Which rules make sense depends on the age of your child and on how you and your child generally deal with media. This is not the same in every family.
The younger your child is, the more you should keep an eye on his or her media use. Young children need close supervision and should not spend too much time with media. Choose age-appropriate content, limit the duration of use and decide on suitable devices. Even if your child is still small, you can explain to them why certain content or times are chosen. Depending on their stage of development, children of kindergarten age can also be involved in simple decisions. From elementary school age, your child gets many new impressions and influences. They still need a lot of guidance, which is why clear, jointly developed rules are very important. You can now better talk to your child about content and let him or her have a say. This way, your child feels taken seriously and learns to take responsibility. From secondary school and adolescence onwards, you should trust your child to be more independent and support them in using media in an increasingly self-determined and self-regulated way. Young people usually approach digital media openly, but they are often not yet able to properly assess the risks. That’s why you are still important as a guide and contact person!
The following applies to all age groups: media usage rules must be sensible and flexible.
To help your child understand how to use media, it makes sense to draw up the rules together – for example in the form of a media usage contract. Such a contract makes the rules transparent and comprehensible for everyone. Exceptions can also be formulated. If your child can help shape the rules themselves, it will be easier for them to stick to them. Check regularly whether the rules still make sense or need to be adjusted if necessary.
Just as important as media-related rules are “media-free” rules – such as not using smartphones during a family meal or conversation. Such rules promote interpersonal communication and strengthen the family bond.
A frequent topic is the question: How much media time is healthy? When is it too much? The answer depends very much on the age and individual needs of your child. The rule of thumb is: the younger, the less!
One approach to regulating media time in everyday life is the use of media vouchers. These can help children of primary school age and above to independently allocate a weekly budget of media time. This gives your child responsibility for their media use without you having to constantly intervene.
It is important that your child has a varied daily routine, uses media in different ways, but also has media-free experiences.
Not only the use of media, but also the choice of content should be part of the family rules. Make sure that media content is age-appropriate and corresponds to your child’s interests. In addition to television and apps, media consumption also includes radio plays, books and music. It makes sense to include these in the rules as well.
Take into account that the content of media use varies greatly, as do the motives and needs of use. A game for mere entertainment may be weighted differently than learning with media. Discuss qualitative differences with your child. Be sure to include age-appropriate content as well.
The question of the right age for the first smartphone concerns many parents. If necessary, talk to the parents of your child’s friends and consider whether certain rules can apply to everyone.
Another important topic is the security settings for devices and apps. Many smartphones and tablets now offer the option of controlling access to certain content and limiting its use. These should always be discussed with your child. Settings such as screen time limits, age ratings and app filters can help to control media use.
However, these technical aids are no substitute for parental guidance. They should also not be used purely for control. Your child needs trust and the opportunity to gradually take responsibility for their own media use. Explanations from you and conversations about media make a significant contribution to your child learning how to use media competently.
Rules may vary depending on the child’s age and stage of development. On the one hand, stay consistent, otherwise they will not serve their purpose. At the same time, if possible, do not use the rules as a punishment or reward.
