The use of cell phones, tablets and the like is a frequent topic of contention in many families. You are probably familiar with the discussions about how long your child is allowed to play or surf. Many parents worry that it’s unhealthy for their child to spend too much time with digital media. But when is too much too much and how do you recognize when an addiction is developing?
In addition to the fun factor, psychological mechanisms are what make media so captivating. Many games and apps have no clear end – children can theoretically play on endlessly. Increasing challenges awaken ambition to reach the next level and make it difficult to switch off.
It is similar with messenger services and social media offerings. We are always available via WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat and the like and can communicate with others quickly and easily at any time. Social networks are specially designed to keep us on the platform for a long time by constantly showing us new content as we scroll through the feed. There are also small built-in rewards that make us happy for a moment and encourage us to keep going. For example, if your child posts a picture on Instagram and receives likes and positive comments, this acts as a social reward. It activates the same areas in the brain as eating candy or taking drugs.
When children spend a lot of time with media, the topic of “addiction” quickly comes up as a scenario for parents. However, it is important to take a closer look at what “addiction” actually means – because long periods of use alone do not make an addiction. Intensive use in phases – such as during puberty – is normal. However, if your child’s behavior becomes conspicuous over a longer period of time, it is worth taking a closer look and reacting if necessary.
There are clear criteria for an actual addiction that you can use as a guide:
If you observe such things, you should become aware and seek help.
It is important to know that “media addiction” itself is not a medical term. In the ICD, the International Classification of Diseases, the section on “(Excessive) media use” describes what gaming, chatting and surfing can look like in the case of excessive use. Excessive media use is also recognized and treated as a “behavioral addiction”. According to a study, around 600,000 children were affected by such behavioral addiction in 2023.
However, since media addiction is more than just a lot of screen time, dealing with it must also be more complex. Reducing media time is a good first step, but it is not enough because not only the symptoms, but also the reasons are often diverse and not exclusively related to the media.
The most important thing is therefore to stay in contact with your child. Observe them, take an interest in their everyday life and ask questions – even before there is a problem. Talk about what media your child uses and why. Show an interest in their favorite games or videos, ask which platforms they use and what’s so great about them. Explain to your child how platforms like TikTok work to keep users with them for as long as possible.
Agree fixed media times and rules together – but also look for other factors that can encourage problematic media behavior. Offer to talk to your child if there are conflicts among friends or in the club or if school is stressful and look together for solutions and strategies to make everyday life balanced and varied. Be a role model yourself in your own media use and everyday life.
If you don’t know what to do and your child’s problematic behavior continues, take action. Find out together whether there may be other reasons behind the constant media use and how you can find solutions. Seek outside help. As a first point of contact, you can talk to the liaison teachers at your child’s school or pediatricians. You can also call the Nummer gegen Kummer, contact a digital counseling platform or an addiction counseling center.
