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26.11.2024

Help, I don’t understand my child anymore! – When parents and children speak different languages

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3 minutes reading time
11-17 years
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What words did you use when you were younger – and what did your parents think? Think about it. Because it is perfectly normal that sometimes you do not understand your child because he uses words that you do not know or understand.

Distinction from the adult world

Our language is shaped by the adult world. Adolescents have a strong need to form their own identity, to become independent and to distinguish themselves from adults. This is also expressed in the so-called youth language with which they create their own world. With their own language, or at least their own terms, they create something of their own and typical of youth. This connects and creates self-confidence. Using the “outdated” slang of the parents would sound old-fashioned and uncool.

Youth slang is shaped by the language on the net

In each new generation, in certain youth scenes and even in different places, youth language changes and there are different words and expressions. Typically, young people speak more easily than adults. In doing so, they sometimes use unusual or unfamiliar terms. The language is less “correct” because young people speak more spontaneously. Instead, it transports much more feelings and moods.

Online communication also has a strong influence on how young people speak or write. In messenger chat, for example, emojis and stickers are used. The language is significantly abbreviated and often incorrect. Terms from the gaming and rap scene, from influencers and, above all, from the English language that dominates the internet are used. Many terms are reflected in hashtags, such as #staywoke for the visibility of social inequality. Which language young people use depends on where they are on the Internet and which trend is currently in vogue. In this way, they show which youth culture they feel they belong to and which media role models they emulate.

Do you know these terms?

Check out your knowledge around your child’s language. The following words will be particularly popular in 2024. At the end of the post you will find the resolution.

  • Aura
  • Talahon
  • Ach
  • Scissors
  • Yurr
  • Hell no
  • No Pascal, I don’t think so
  • Pyrotechnics

Dealing with the language of young people

So there is no serious reason to worry if you sometimes do not understand your child. Respect the desire for boundaries and generally be understanding if your child uses different words than you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to let him tell you everything. Especially if the language is indecent, hurtful or offensive. Tell your child. Make it clear to them why they should not speak to others in the same way and, if necessary, agree on rules for dealing with each other. The use of youth language can also be problematic in online communication, for example in trash talk in online games or cyberbullying. Talk to your child about respectful behavior online. The same rules that apply offline for fair and respectful interaction should also be observed online: Fairness, openness and respect.

You are and will always be the adult your child wants to be different from. Therefore, do not try to approach linguistically. This is more likely to be perceived by your child as an invasion of his or her privacy. Speak the way you always do. Nevertheless, you can occasionally enjoy your child’s imaginative word creations and ask if you don’t understand something!

Solutions:

  • AURA is mainly used jokingly and refers to the charisma or status of a person
  • TALAHON (from the Arabic “Come here!” / “Come here if you dare!”) is a term used to refer to male Arab youths with a migration background who often also wear fanny packs, gold chains, sunglasses and fake brand-name clothes. The term is highly controversial because it is used on social media to devalue Arab and Muslim young people and their style of dress.
  • AKH (Arabic for “brother”) is used as a form of address for friends or acquaintances
  • YURR comes from US-American slang and means “Yes” (as consent) or “What’s up?” (as a greeting)
  • HELL NO (from the English “hell no”) expresses contradiction or rejection
  • NO PASCAL, I DO NOT THINK (known from the program “Help me! Young, broke, desperate”) is used to negate a statement
  • PYROTECHNIK as an expression arose in connection with the European Championship, where pyrotechnics were banned in the stadium. It expresses that someone is in favor of the use of pyrotechnics at sporting events

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