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25.11.2025

Help, I don’t understand my child anymore! – When parents and children speak different languages

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3 minutes reading time
11-17 years
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What words did you use when you were younger – and what did your parents think? Think about it. It is perfectly normal that you sometimes do not understand your child because they use words that you do not know or use.

Distinction from the adult world

Our language is shaped by the adult world. Adolescents have a strong need to form their own identity, to become independent and to distinguish themselves from adults. This is also expressed in the so-called youth language with which they create their own world. With their own language, or at least their own terms, they create something of their own and typical of youth. This connects and creates self-confidence. Using the “outdated” slang of the parents would sound old-fashioned and uncool.

Youth slang is shaped by the language on the net

In each new generation, in certain youth scenes and even in different places, youth language changes and there are different words and expressions. Typically, young people speak more easily than adults. In doing so, they sometimes use unusual or unfamiliar terms. The language is less “correct” because young people speak more spontaneously. Instead, it transports much more feelings and moods.

Online communication also has a strong influence on how young people speak or write. In messenger chat, for example, emojis, GIFs, stickers and memes are used. The language is significantly abbreviated and often incorrect. Terms from the gaming and rap scene, from influencers and, above all, from the English language that dominates the internet are adopted. Many terms are reflected in hashtags. Which language young people use depends on where they are on the Internet and which trend is currently in vogue. In this way, they show which youth culture they feel they belong to and which media role models they emulate.

Do you know these terms?

Check out your knowledge around your child’s language. The following words will be particularly popular in 2025. At the end of the post you will find the resolution.

  • the crazy
  • goonen
  • you check
  • Digga(h)
  • Scissors
  • tuff
  • Speech
  • lowkey
  • dead

Dealing with the language of young people

So there is no serious reason to worry if you sometimes do not understand your child. Respect the desire for boundaries and generally be understanding if your child uses different words than you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to let him tell you everything. Especially if the language is indecent, hurtful or offensive. Tell your child. Make it clear to them why they should not speak to others in the same way and, if necessary, agree on rules for dealing with each other. The use of youth language can also be problematic in online communication, for example in trash talk in online games or cyberbullying. Talk to your child about respectful behavior online. The same rules that apply offline for fair and respectful interaction should also be observed online: Fairness, openness and respect.

You are and will remain the adult from whom your child wishes to distinguish him or herself. Therefore, do not try to approach linguistically. This is more likely to be perceived by your child as an invasion of his or her privacy. Speak the way you always do. Nevertheless, you can occasionally enjoy your child’s imaginative word creations and ask if you don’t understand something!

Resolutions:

  • DAS CRAZY (German: “Das [ist] verrückt”) is comparable to “Aha, cool” or “Okay” and is used as an expression to keep a conversation going
  • CHECK YOU replace the question “Do you understand that?”
  • GOONEN means long-lasting self-satisfaction
  • DIGGA(H) has long since established itself in slang and means something like “brother”, “bro” in a friendly way. It is used as a casual form of address for a buddy, but also as an exclamation
  • SCHERE stands for an admission of guilt in online gaming
  • TUFF is a synonym for “cool” or “rad” and describes something very impressive
  • REDE is an exclamation of agreement and means something like: “I think so too!”
  • LOWKEY is used to express opinions, preferences or feelings with restraint and is comparable to “a little” or “secretly”
  • TOT expresses that something is boring, embarrassing or completely off the mark

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