Many teenagers want to explore their sexuality during puberty and find out how they come across to others. Today, this often happens through messaging apps or direct messages on social media. It’s not always easy for parents to understand this topic. We’ll explain what sexting means, what risks are involved, and how you can support your child.
Sexting refers to the voluntary sending or exchanging of erotic or intimate messages, revealing photos, or videos via digital media. Such messages often arise during flirting or within a relationship. Sexting is not a phenomenon that affects only teenagers. In fact, adults use this form of communication much more frequently.
Sexting isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be an expression of trust or part of getting to know someone. The key is that everyone involved must be acting of their own free will. No one should be pressured into sending intimate photos or videos. Anyone who sends an intimate image never knows what will happen to it later. It can be shared or published without the consent of the person depicted. This violates their privacy. Legal consequences are also possible. Once an image is in circulation, it usually cannot be completely deleted.
In addition to personal risks, there are also legal restrictions. Children under the age of 14 should not take or send sexualized nude photos of themselves. Such images are legally considered depictions of child sexual abuse and are subject to specific criminal laws. Receiving, possessing, or sharing such images can be a criminal offense for adolescents aged 14 and older and for adults. This means, for example, that a 14-year-old may not receive, save, or forward such images of a 13-year-old. Older adolescents should therefore never request, receive, or forward such images.
Some perpetrators trick victims into sending intimate photos and later use them for blackmail. This practice is called sextortion. They threaten to publish or forward the photos. Even seemingly harmless photos can be manipulated today using artificial intelligence. That’s why it’s worth thinking carefully about which images of yourself you share before sending them.
It is not sexting itself that is the problem, but rather the misuse of the images. If intimate photos are shared or published without consent, the victims are not to blame. This can be very distressing for those affected and can trigger feelings of shame or fear of how others will react.
Talk to your child early on about sexting, boundaries, and the fact that both parties must consent. Explain to your child that no one has the right to demand intimate photos or exert pressure, for example with phrases like: “If you really like me, send me a picture” or “Otherwise I’ll break up with you.” Make it clear to your child that they can end the interaction at any time. Your child can always turn to you, another trusted person, or a counseling center and does not have to deal with such situations alone. Also explain to them that they are in control of their own body. They don’t have to send intimate photos and can say no if they don’t feel comfortable with something.
Also discuss why intimate photos of other people should not be shared. This violates the person’s privacy and can have legal consequences.
If your child is being blackmailed or sexually harassed with the threat of publishing intimate images, stay calm and listen. Do not blame them. Save any text messages containing threats or attempts to exert pressure. However, do not take screenshots or make copies of the intimate images. Especially in the case of sexualized images of minors, saving or copying them can have legal consequences for you. Report the content to the respective platform and file a police report if necessary. Make sure your child understands that the responsibility always lies with the people who abuse trust or distribute the images.
Visit www.safer-sexting.de for more information on the legal situation and support for those affected. JUUUPORT also provides information about sexting and the misuse of intimate images and offers confidential counseling to young people.
