Of course, you know your child’s friends from school or the sports club. But what about acquaintances with whom your child has contact only via the Internet? Whether online gaming, in video chats or via social media – wherever children and young people communicate with each other, they can come into contact with people who have negative intentions. According to the JIM Study 2024, almost a third of the 12-19-year-olds surveyed had experienced sexual harassment online.
What is cybergrooming?
Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok or Discord, which children and young people like to use, also attract users with paedocriminal tendencies. This is criminal behavior directed against minors. Adults approach children with the aim of sexually harassing or even abusing them. This targeted approach online is called cybergrooming.
How do perpetrators proceed?
The strategies are varied – but they are always aimed at gaining the trust of children and young people and gaining control over communication.
- Making contact: It often starts out seemingly harmless. Perpetrators often use fake profiles and pretend to be people of the same age. Or they lure people in with the promise of “fame” and pose as supposed talent scouts or modeling agents
- Manipulation: Perpetrators like and comment on the content of children and young people. They give them compliments or digital “gifts” such as skins in online games – with the aim of gaining their trust and manipulating them.
- Private information: Typically, perpetrators want to know a lot about the child or young person, but rarely disclose any personal information themselves.
- Sexual assault: Some people specifically ask about sexual experiences or talk openly about their own preferences.
What are warning signals?
A clear warning signal is if the stranger wants to move the chat to a private messenger such as WhatsApp or Telegram – because nobody can read it there. This chat should remain secret at all costs. In such private conversations, trust is built up that can later be exploited. This is often followed by a request for intimate photos or videos. These can then be used for blackmail. Perpetrators do not take “no” for ananswer: If children and young people refuse, they are put under pressure and threatened, for example, with breaking off contact or the publication of intimate images. Some perpetrators use private chats to try to arrange a face-to-face meeting.
You can find out more about this problematic phenomenon in this video from the Kinderschutzbund:
How do I protect my child from cybergrooming?
- Accompany them in their media use: Take the first steps on social media together with your child. In this way, your child will learn about the different functions and rules of behavior.
- Have open conversations: Have regular discussions with your child about their media use. If your child knows that they can talk to you openly, they are more likely to turn to you if they encounter problems online.
- Point out risks: So that your child knows about the dangers early on and can recognize them in good time, talk about them openly and objectively. Point out when a chat becomes dangerous and how to behave.
- Use safety functions: Choose age-appropriate media, set up the smartphone safely together and protect your child from problematic content with parental control measures.
- Keep an eye on privacy: Your child should never make private information such as their full name, date of birth, address or even private pictures public or entrust them to unknown people. Go through the privacy settings of the platforms and apps used together with your child on a regular basis.
- Encourage healthy mistrust: Make your child aware that the internet is a public space where you never know exactly who is on the other side. Your child should reject contact requests from strangers and block or report unknown users. Encourage your child to listen to their gut feeling and break off contact immediately if they receive unpleasant or frightening messages. Flirting and dating apps require particular caution – they often lack good moderation. Important: The location function should always be deactivated.
- Involve caregivers: Media education is not just a matter for parents. Your child may be happy to confide in grandparents, godparents, relatives or good family friends. Talk to other family members about the topic and involve them in media education.
You can find more tips on how to protect your child from sexual violence on social networks here.
What should I do if my child is affected?
Children and young people are particularly curious. Therefore, they sometimes forget all warnings and can fall into a trap. Make it absolutely clear to your child that even in such cases, the perpetrator is solely to blame. Cybergrooming – even attempts – are punishable in Germany. If your child is sexually harassed, be there for your child and do not blame him or her. Report the perpetrators on the respective platform or to reporting centers. Secure evidence by taking screenshots of the chat history and profile and make sure you report it to the police! But be careful with depictions of abuse of children and young people. It is a criminal offense to possess them. The Internet Complaints Office has summarized information on dealing with depictions of abuse online in this PDF. You can find more information on this topic in this article.
Children and young people can find help, advice and information here:
The following contact points are available for parents:
You can find more digital advice for children, young people and parents here.
