Many children and young people come into contact with pornographic content on the Internet at an early age, by chance and without intention as well as out of curiosity and interest. For parents, this can be frightening when they eventually realize that their child is watching porn. Why this is not abnormal, what pornographic content can be problematic and how you should deal with it, you will learn in this article.
While porn used to be found mainly in special stores or video stores, today you can get it easily thanks to the Internet. Besides, you won’t be seen and it doesn’t necessarily cost anything. This is not only true for adults. Children and adolescents develop their own sexuality during puberty at the latest. For this, they look for orientation and role models. Since sex is often still a taboo subject, people like to seek the anonymity of the net. Here they can get smart unobserved before the sexuality is lived out with others. However, provocative nude pictures of men and women suddenly pop up on the cell phone display quite unintentionally when you actually just want to watch a series or do research for school on the Internet. In this way, children can come into contact with it at an early age, although this should not actually happen.
In Germany, there is youth media protection with its mandate to protect children and young people under the age of 18 from content on the Internet that could endanger them or impair their development. This content also includes pornography. A distinction is made between simple and hard pornography. Hard pornography is spoken of if the sexual acts shown are, for example, in connection with violence or if they are depictions of the sexual abuse of children and young people. These are generally prohibited! Simple pornographic content in which sex is depicted in detail is permitted in Germany if access to it is clearly restricted. This means that logging on to these sites is only possible via a regulated procedure; for example, via the Post-Ident procedure, in which the ID card must be presented at an official office such as a post office.
So under 18s can’t easily access porn sites if they come from Germany. The situation is different for providers from other countries, some of whose pages are freely accessible. In addition, popular platforms such as YouTube and Instagram also feature photos and videos depicting people with little clothing and in erotic poses. Such content is not pornography and is therefore available for all to view. However, they can still be unpleasant or even disturbing for some – especially younger – children.
Especially for teenagers in puberty, porn is appealing – also because it is forbidden. They are particularly susceptible to such stimuli and go in search of pornographic content or curiously click on the pages they happen to come across. Especially when the topic of sexuality is taboo at home and they don’t want to talk about it with their parents, they resort to what they find on the net. And that’s not necessarily age-appropriate.
The quick availability of such content can be particularly appealing when, for example, you’re just looking for a distraction or want to escape from your everyday problems. A habit can turn into addiction for some young people. Besides, watching porn regularly can develop ideas about sex that don’t have much to do with reality. Sex and pornography are equated with love and relationship. Some teens get expectations that their own love lives must look the same. This also includes the development of the own body. This can stress teens out if they want to become sexually active themselves. Or the girlfriend or boyfriend is put under pressure to present himself or herself in the same way, film it and send the video. Which puts them at risk of cyberbullying. You can learn more about sexting in our article about it.
Sex is part of our lives. Do not make the topic taboo and always be open and willing to talk. Provide age-appropriate education when your child asks questions about love and sexuality.
Accompany your child in their first steps on the Internet and explain to them that content can be encountered that is unpleasant. If certain pages appear unintentionally, your child should be able to talk to you about it. Younger children in particular must not be left alone with such experiences. Their imagination goes crazy and what they see cannot be properly classified because it has nothing to do with their own spectrum of experience.
Use parental control programs and filtering options on your browser, smartphone or tablet so that content harmful to minors is not displayed in the first place. However, such technical settings can only ever provide support, as they do not offer one hundred percent protection against such content. It is much more important that your child knows that there is also such content on the net and knows ways to deal with it. Therefore, you should always talk to him about it.
However, as children get older and enter puberty, they also need their space and don’t necessarily want to talk to their parents about the changes in their bodies. Older siblings can be good conversation partners. There are also youth-friendly educational sites on the web, such as Loveline.
If you overhear your son or daughter watching porn, talk to him or her about it, but don’t judge your child. Make him understand that pornography is not realistic, but someone made up the “stories”. Mere bans and filtering measures will not help, especially with young people. They find their ways to watch porn. If anything, bans have an even more appealing effect. Therefore, an open approach to the topic of sex is more effective.
