Social media and messenger apps such as Instagram, TikTok, WhatsApp and Snapchat are particularly popular with young people. This is where they post articles, network and discuss topics that concern them. Of course, not everyone always agrees on every topic. Just like in real life, conflicts, discussions and misunderstandings also occur between young people on the internet. Most of the time, this is harmless and there is no need for you as parents to worry. However, the internet also brings new challenges: Some discussions can get out of hand and turn into deliberate hostility or hate speech.
The internet can help to lower the inhibition thresholds for insults, hatred and discrimination. Many people are quicker to write derogatory or hurtful things online that they would never say in person. Protected by anonymity and distance, they often forget that there are real people on the other side.
Hate speech can take many forms. It is often directed against entire groups – such as people with a different skin color, religion, sexual orientation or origin.
Typical characteristics of hate speech are: derogatory language or insults, calls for exclusion or violence or the spread of misanthropic ideologies.
While cyberbullying usually targets a specific person, hate speech often affects entire population groups.
Important to know: Hate comments can not only be offensive, but also punishable by law. No-hate-speech.de explains clearly which forms of hate speech can violate the law.
Not every hate message online is immediately recognizable. Extremist groups often use so-called secret signs and terms that appear harmless to outsiders but send clear messages in certain circles.
Dog whistling means sending a message that only insiders can understand – just as a dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. On the internet, dog whistling is used to spread radical or extremist content without openly violating platform rules or laws. This makes it harder to immediately recognize hate and hate speech.
Watch out for unusual terms, emojis or hashtags popping up. Typical examples are:
You can find more examples in the article “Geheime Codes von Rechtsextremen online” (Campact) or in the YouTube video “Dog Whistling erklärt” (Berliner Register).
Of course, there doesn’t have to be malicious intent behind every unusual symbol. Nevertheless, it is worth taking a closer look at strange symbols or terms together with young people and asking questions.
Talk about hate speech. Talk to your child about online discrimination and its consequences. Young people often close themselves off if they are affected themselves and are insulted or hostile online. If it is common practice in your home to talk openly about everything, your child will be more likely to turn to you in confidence if the worst comes to the worst. Topics for discussion could be What is respectful behavior? How does hate speech feel for those affected? How can you defend yourself against hate online?
Important: The same rules should apply online as in real life – fairness, openness and appreciation.
Offer support. Let your child know that they are not alone when they experience hate online. Listen and take your child seriously.
Save evidence by taking screenshots of offensive comments or messages. Many platforms have functions for reporting hate messages – either directly in the app or via special contact points that deal with problematic content online. If necessary, advice centers or online portals can help.
Take an active stand against hate. Hate online should not simply be accepted. Young people can learn: to support those affected by making friendly comments, to report hate messages and to take a stand with respectful counter-speech (without putting themselves at risk). Projects such as #NichtEgal help young people to show civil courage online and promote a positive culture of discussion.
