Toned bodies on YouTube fitness channels, flawless beauty influencers on Instagram or perfectly staged selfies in WhatsApp chats– social media conveys a certain image of beauty that is often far removed from reality. Such ideals can put enormous pressure on children and young people and have a negative impact on their self-esteem. How can parents help their children develop a healthy approach to beauty images online?
Pale skin in the Middle Ages, curvy bodies in the Baroque era, short hair in the 1920s, thin models in the 1990s – what is considered beautiful is subject to constant change and varies according to time and culture. Throughout history, women in particular have been strongly valued by their appearance. Today’s ideal of beauty is strongly influenced by gender stereotypes and social media trends.
“Do I look beautiful?”. With the onset of puberty at the latest, children and adolescents are increasingly concerned with their appearance and identity. This time is often characterized by uncertainty and comparisons. Young people also look to the media for guidance. They keep a close eye on how people present themselves online. Influencers become important role models that they want to emulate. Many social media stars present themselves as particularly approachable on their profiles and encourage contact with their target group. The strong relationship with their idols can be an orientation aid in the development of their own body and beauty image, but can also lead to insecurity and pressure. This is because a lot of content shows highly distorted images of beauty.
Big eyes, full lips, white teeth, flawless skin – on platforms like Instagram and TikTok are dominated by one-sided images of beauty that are perfected with the use of filters and image editing, including the use of AI avatars. Added to this are the mechanisms of social media services, in which algorithms preferentially select images with naked skin and display content according to the characteristics and preferences of users. Influencers show more appearance than reality in order to earn money with clicks and product placements. Anyone who does not conform to the current ideal of beauty receives negative feedback and even hate comments. This increases the pressure on young users to meet unrealistic beauty standards. According to a study conducted by the Austrian education platform safer-internet.at in early 2024, beauty ideals on the internet put both girls and boys under a lot of pressure. More than half of the young people surveyed want to look beautiful, stylish and slim online. If children and young people are constantly comparing themselves and frequently use filters, this can have an impact on their self-perception. Pumping until you drop, starving yourself to the point of anorexia – some content even shows beauty ideals that are harmful to health, which can be dangerous if imitated.
Fortunately, there are also counter-movements online such as curvy models, body positivity and hashtags like #formorerealityoninstagram. They help to make visible and celebrate a diversity of bodies and identities. Such authentic content encourages users to take a healthier and more realistic view of beauty and their bodies.
Show an interest in your child’s media use and keep in touch with your child about their favorite influencers and content. Analyze together which editing steps are behind many images and videos and explain to him that this is mostly about marketing. Make it clear to your child that their social media feed is not an accurate reflection of reality. Encourage your child to weed out profiles that trigger bad feelings. Give your child access to the good side of the internet and show them (children’s) media that portray diverse world views and gender images. Comedy profiles such as Celeste Barber or formats for children and young people such as this video on beauty filters by TeamTimster on KIKA help to question unrealistic ideals of beauty.
Emphasize the diversity of bodies and images of beauty and encourage your child to be positive about their own body. Praise your child’s inner values, such as personality and interests, to strengthen their self-esteem. If you are unsure, your child is suffering from digital stress or an eating disorder, seek help, for example in the form of (digital) counseling services.
Part 1 explained why children and young people want to become YouTubers or social media stars: With the famous influencers , it seems so easy to earn money and have fun at the same time by producing so-called content. If you want to support this desire, you should consider a few things.
Take your child’s wish seriously and talk to him about it. Children are not necessarily able to assess all the risks associated with publishing on the Internet. It’s hard for them to imagine how many people might watch such a video and the ways in which it can be redistributed. Children also cannot yet foresee that being the center of attention all the time can mean stress. You also have to deal with criticism about your own videos. Successful influencers are under pressure to keep producing new videos for their fans in order to stay in the conversation. Most children and young people who are active on YouTube, i.e. who publish their own videos there, are usually only known in their immediate environment. Her followers are mainly friends and joy.
Make your child aware of these things and discuss together the decision to produce their own content for social media. Think about what’s in favor and what’s against. Ask what is actually behind the desire and what is the goal of having your own YouTube channel. Should it start as a hobby? What should it be about? Which topics and contents should occur? What should the videos look like?
Talk to your child about the fact that success as a YouTuber also depends on luck. Maybe things don’t go as hoped at the beginning or the videos don’t meet your expectations. Especially the possibility of not making one’s own videos publicly available to everyone is well suited for trying out being a YouTuber and improving one’s filming skills in a protected setting. Still, your child can show off his latest work to friends in the schoolyard or grandma.
Chain letters are not a new phenomenon. Nowadays, however, they are spread via social networks and messenger services. For many children who use WhatsApp chain letters are a natural part of their lives. Some kids receive several chain letters a day, funny or creepy, usually riddled with spelling and typing errors.
Many messages are nice and make you smile or are intended to make it clear that you care about the reader. But there are also such chain letters that can put your child under pressure or even cause fear and panic. So-called “social barometers” are designed to show the sender of chain letters how popular he or she is:
“Send this letter to 12 wonderful girls (including me) and see how many times you get it back and see how many true friends you have. One to two: well, there are better ones. Two to three: Okay, you have some. Four to five: You have enough true friends.”
Chain letters often also contain threats and warnings about what can happen if the message is not forwarded. These are particularly frightening to children and young people. Some of them tell short horror stories and always end with sentences like “Send this message on, otherwise I’ll kill you!”. Threatening to harm friends or family is also one of the classic ways to create pressure and fear.
“If you love your mom send this to 20 people. One girl ignored this and her mom died in 365 days. Sorry I can’t ignore this because I love my mom. Shame on you if you don’t”.
These creepy messages are now also available as audio chain letters. That is, a distorted computer voice threatens the recipient with murder or bodily harm unless the audio file is forwarded to a certain number of contacts. These types of chain letters can be particularly scary for children.
Therefore, it is important to talk to your child about chain letters. Explain that not forwarding will not have any consequences and this kind of messages are just a very bad joke. You can also send a message to the sender together and educate about the background of chain letters. If such a message was sent from an unknown number, the number should be blocked directly. Then messages from this person will not be delivered.
If you would like to read more about the topic, you can get more information at saferinternet.at, for example.
