From the ice queen via Bibi and Tina directly into the living room of beauty influencers. If you look at what’s on offer in our media, it quickly becomes clear what girls like – or should like. From the first (pink) game phone to the Netflix -The content offered to young people is often heavily trimmed to gender stereotypes and leaves little room for nuances. But is that really what girls like? And how can you, as a parent, appropriately shape your daughter’s journey through the pink and light blue world of media?
XX or XY: Our gender is the first drawer we are usually put into before we are born. For many people, the sex they are assigned according to chromosome and primary sex organs fits. But not for everyone. Some, for example, are non-binary or trans. And even those who feel comfortable as girls or boys do not automatically want to be associated with all stereotypes. For parents and educators, therefore, the following applies regardless of media use: taking a close look and keeping an open mind are important in order to see and accompany children individually. That’s why we use the asterisk to girls* in this text – to show that every form of gender identity is meant.
More information on the topic of queerness can be found in the book “Was ist eigentlich dieses LGTBQI*?” (What is this LGTBQI*? ), which is suitable for children, and at Kindersache from the German Children ‘s Fund (DKHW), as well as at the Queer Lexicon.
When girls* and boys* begin to move in media worlds, gender seems to take on even more weight than it already does. Most children are interested in audio games and videos in kindergarten, discover the Internet during elementary school, and then also want a smartphone. In terms of content, however, girls* and boys* often move in two worlds. This is because girls* are specifically addressed differently by marketing than boys* and there are not many alternative offers. For example, girls* often use services that appear to be tailored to their gender identity. They watch Barbie and horse videos, read fairy stories, and later are more likely to watch casting shows or admire beauty influencers like Bibi .
The image that young girls* are presented with of the world is often colored by stereotypes and simplifications: Girls* naturally love pink, are interested in fashion and makeup, are portrayed as needy and are bad at math. Some girls* seem to love these very clichés (at least at times) – others may find it hard to find alternatives or bow to peer pressure in kindergarten and school.
Of course, not all alarm bells have to ring immediately if your daughter likes Arielle or Gabby’s Dollhouse. Female characters of all varieties are a way for young people to express their own identity. They use stereotypical figures to test their own gender images – and possibly even consciously distance themselves from them. At the same time, too many such identification figures can also lead to stereotypes becoming fixed in the mind and prevent children from forming their own independent gender identity. Therefore, look closely and observe how your child talks about the media content.
As parents, you are important companions on the path of individual development. You serve as role models yourself – in the way you live your own gender identity, but also through your media use. Reflect on how you yourself talk about girls* and boys* and reflect together with your daughter* on the images of girls in the media. Be an*open conversationalist with whom your daughter* can discuss preferences, questions, and even stereotypes. Offer alternative (media) opportunities for your child to try content that has a different focus.
If you are open to your child’s topics, questions and interests and you accompany him or her in a loving and non-judgmental way, you will help your child the most. Because this way, young girls* can search for and live their own identity without fear.
Boys like to play soccer and Minecraft – girls like horses and play Star Stable. Fortunately, it’s not that simple. The developers of the online role-playing game Star Stable apparently see things differently. The game comes only with female characters.
In Star Stable, players ride a horse across an island and meet other female riders. They can communicate with them via chat during the game. You’ll have to complete missions, solve puzzles and win tournaments. This will allow them to get new clothes and better riding gear. Up to the fifth level the game is free, after that there are different payment models for the full version: you can buy access to the game for a month, three months or a whole year.
In addition to the game itself, there are complementary apps to enhance the horse experience for girls.
Star Stable offers a large virtual world that children will love to discover. The course of the game is designed by yourself. The characters your child can slip into, as well as their horses, can be customized to appear unique. Especially girls, for whom the game is tailored, can live out their love of horses here. The graphics are appealing and realistic, so they can get the feeling of sitting on a horse themselves. The landscapes and colors appeal positively to children.
The horse game already has a large community. There are several Star Stable Let’s Play formats on YouTube. In it, players give tips and comment on their own playing in an entertaining way. There’s even its own animated series on YouTube.
Before playing, players must first create an account and provide their date of birth. There is no verification of the information, so you can’t be sure if only children use the game. Therefore, there is a risk of cyberbullying and cybergrooming – even if the chat function is set to be child-friendly. Inappropriate language, such as hate speech, can also occur in such chats and be unpleasant for your child.
The free entry into the game has the goal of getting children excited about it, so that they would like to continue playing. However, the cost of the full version is quite high. There is also a virtual currency called Star Coins, of which each player receives 100 once a week. JorvikShillinge can be obtained, for example, by completing tasks. However, impatient gamers can also buy them directly from Star Stable ‘s store. Star St able sets strong incentives to spend money on accessories. Especially for younger children and teenagers, in-app purchases are a risk to spend a lot of money.
Despite the many options to customize his character and the horse, it is not possible to create a male or gender-neutral character. Even though horses are especially popular with girls, most boys are excluded from the start. The game conveys that horses and riding are not for boys. Thus, Star Stable falls back on classic gender roles, which can make both boys and girls feel discriminated against.
On Star Stable, the game makers have provided information for parents. In it, they emphasize the positive aspects of the game, such as learning social skills and developing a sense of responsibility through dealing with virtual currency. It is pointed out that parents should educate their children about possible risks and dangers of the Internet. Star Stable rules were listed separately for this purpose. There is no age recommendation.
The game makers emphasize to handle personal data of children particularly sensitively and to adhere to the so-called Safe Harbor agreement, which is dedicated to the protection of personal data of children collected online. It also states that no information or details about the account should be shared with third parties.
Since there is no specific age recommendation, you should check out the game for yourself before your child plays it for the first time. This will help you assess whether your child can already cope with the content, functions and fast images. Due to the possible risks, your child should be at least 10 years old and should definitely get to know the game together with you in the beginning.
Talk to your child about potential dangers and how in-app purchases work. Set time limits so your child doesn’t get completely lost in the virtual world. You can find more tips on this in our article “Games in the family“.
Try to make your child understand that horses and riding is not just a topic for girls. Should your son want to play the game, encourage him to do so despite the one-sided perspective of the game makers.
Children are exposed to violence in the media at an early age. It is not always portrayed brutally, but can also occur subliminally and rather humorously packaged, e.g. when in animated series one character hits another on the head and it gongs funny.
Media content that features action and violence seems to appeal more to boys than girls. The behavior of girls and boys is also sometimes perceived differently: Some think boys are naturally more impetuous and tend to resolve conflicts with violence.
Education and the media contribute to violence being more of an issue for boys. If boys are prone to violence – no matter how pronounced – it is perceived as less of a problem than with girls. Until a few decades ago, boys always had to be strong and should not show any feelings. Some people still think that today.
In the meantime, a change can be seen here: In many families, gender no longer plays a role in the selection of books, toys and media. Thus, what suits the character and interests of the child is selected. But there are still some families where it is normal that only boys get a bobby car or action figures to play with, while girls play with dolls. So it is then with media use. Boys may watch action-packed cartoons of superheroes at an early age, which some girls show no interest in.
Computer games that involve fighting others, such as Fortnite or GTA, are played more by boys than girls. They tend to prefer role-playing games like “The Sims” or colorful mobile games like “Candy Crush”. This is partly due to the characters in the game. You can read more about this in our article Computer games and the topic of gender.
When violent behavior is accepted among boys to some degree, they are less likely to learn how to resolve conflict in other ways. If social traits like being there for each other are rewarded, especially in girls, boys want to behave differently so as not to appear “girly.” For adults who have had such experiences in childhood, this can lead to social and sometimes psychological problems in dealing with their own feelings.
As a parent, you can help make sure your child grows up with fewer stereotypes. Pay conscious attention to your child’s behavior and support diverse role models through media choices. Actively seek out stories with alternative role models of girls and boys. From elementary school age, gender identity becomes increasingly important for a child. Therefore, it should receive a variety of offers for orientation in its development.
Do not leave fight scenes and unfair behavior in movies, series or books without comment. Talk about violence and make it clear to your child that this is not a desired behavior. Talk about why the behavior shown would be problematic in the real world. This allows them to better categorize the behavior exhibited.
Play figures and cuddly toys are the main characters in many children’s stories. Playing out your own stories not only in your own children’s room, but also filming yourself doing so and publishing it on YouTube is in vogue.
YouTube nursery stories usually focus on horse collectibles. Whether it’s series with several seasons, short films, music videos or even feature-length films: if you enter the search term “Schleich horses” or “model horses” on YouTube, you’ll get quite a few hits with tens of thousands of clicks. A lot of time and effort goes into the productions, many videos even have elaborate opening credits and their own theme music. The most popular videos are from female YouTubers between ten and fifteen years old. They come up with the content of the films themselves, which range from a classic horse farm story to a romance, speak the characters’ lines, and film and edit the film on their own. They themselves appear mostly only with their voice and the hand that moves the character.
The YouTubers have large fan bases and are also role models for their viewers. Compliments on props, characters and the story fill the comment columns. Among the many positive comments, there are hardly any negative or even insulting comments.
Compared to many other well-known influencers, private life does not play a special role. Many of the girls emphasize that they are primarily interested in being creative and exchanging ideas with others about their shared hobby. Some of them have been collecting small plastic figurines for years. Animals of the brand Schleich are the most popular. That is why the horse films are good advertising for this company in particular. But for the YouTubers and their fans, they are above all the common passion.
If your child wants to make their own movies with collectible figures or other toys, feel free to encourage them to do so. Think together about what your child wants to show of himself and whether it is necessary to show his own face or reveal his name. Discuss that anyone on YouTube can make comments about the videos, which can sometimes be hurtful. Consider turning off the commenting feature for uploaded content.
To protect your child’s personal information, you can also create a YouTube account together and use your own data for it.
Also talk to your child about the fact that some YouTubers make money from their channels by advertising certain products. If such horse stories get a lot of attention, they will also become interesting for companies like Schleich as an advertising market.
