“Now put the phone down!” Many families hear sentences like this almost every day. Parents worry that their child is spending too much time on their smartphone, tablet or console – and wonder whether school, health or family time together is suffering as a result. But when does media use really become a problem?
Whether writing messages, watching videos, doing homework or simply relaxing – digital media are an integral part of our everyday lives. Children and young people also grow up with them as a matter of course. Media offer many opportunities: they promote creativity, connect across distances, help with learning or provide entertainment. They are a source of information, a leisure activity, a social meeting place and often also part of schoolwork.
Usage times have changed considerably in recent years: Children and young people spend significantly more time on screens than they used to. They are strongly oriented towards adults: If the smartphone is always at hand or the TV is on in the background, children automatically adopt these habits. They not only learn which media are important, but also how to use them.
Media are fascinating. They are colorful, exciting, offer variety – and there is always something new to discover. It can therefore be particularly difficult for children and young people to take breaks or stop at the right time.
Phases of intensive media use are completely normal – especially during puberty.
It is important to consider the child’s perspective: media use can be an expression of creativity, belonging or security – and often fulfills a real need. Media can help to reduce stress or maintain contact with peers. It becomes difficult when other areas of life are permanently neglected: Friends, school, hobbies, exercise or sleep.
Pay attention to the following signals:
In rarer cases, there may be a loss of control or significant neglect of other areas of life.
If such excessive behavior occurs over a longer period of time, talk to your child about possible changes – and get support if necessary.
It is important not to condemn or prohibit across the board, but to understand and support.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of the perfect duration of use. Rather, age, stage of development, content and type of use as well as the daily routine and other activities are decisive. A learning video for school is to be assessed differently than endless scrolling through social media or constantly checking the news. Various guides provide recommendations on media time, but these are only rough guidelines. Instead of rigid time limits, what counts is a balanced daily routine in which children have a say. This builds confidence, promotes media literacy and helps them to better recognize their own needs and limits.
Talk about the effectAsk your child how they feel after using it. Was it relaxing, exhausting, frustrating or inspiring? This teaches them to recognize their own limits.
Establish rules togetherInvolve your child in the decision. This will make them feel taken seriously.
Discuss content and goals: What does your child use the tablet or cell phone for? Is it for homework, playing, relaxing or keeping in touch with friends?
Use contracts or agreements: A media usage agreement can help to set out clear rules and expectations in writing.
Be a role modelReflect on your own use of media. Children learn through observation.
Encourage offline time: Create spaces without a screen – for exercise, playing, talking or cooking together.
Use technical aids: Time limits and age restrictions can be set for many devices, especially for younger children.
Talk about the effectAsk your child how they feel after using it. Was it relaxing, exhausting, frustrating or inspiring? This teaches them to recognize their own limits.
