The cell phone raised in front of you and your lips twisted into a pout – this is what it can look like when young people in particular take a photo of themselves. This quickly ends up on WhatsApp, Instagram or Snapchat. Maybe a filter is put over it beforehand to make the colors shine more and you virtually put on bunny ears.
Young people in particular always have their smartphones in their pockets, and in any situation they can quickly whip them out to take a picture of themselves and their friends and capture the moment.
These self-portraits with the smartphone are very popular among young people. Selfies are used to put oneself in the limelight and to test one’s own effect on others. This desire on the part of young people in the midst of their personal development is nothing unusual or new. But smartphones and social media make it especially easy. The most beautiful pictures are published on Instagram & Co. – in the hope that as many people as possible will like them. From this you can see your own popularity and attractiveness. But there are other reasons to take selfies. Young people can be creative and have fun posing together. It is not uncommon for selfies to be taken simply out of boredom.
And if truth be told, many adults also take selfies to show how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, and where you are. Selfies are a great way to capture memories and share yourself with others.
It becomes problematic when an excessive amount of photos are taken or erotic selfies are posted. Young people copy this from influencers or other people. If you notice this in your child, he or she may be looking for attention. Self-dramatization is increasingly taking place digitally. Children and young people can get the feeling that they have to present themselves and constantly show what they are experiencing. Especially erotic pictures that end up on the net can damage your child’s reputation. You as parents should counteract this by staying in conversation with him! Make it clear to your child that once anything ends up on the web, it can’t be properly deleted and you have no control over where and how images spread.
There are situations or places where selfies are not appropriate. Posing at a memorial site, for example, is not very tactful. You should also talk to your child about this and set a good example yourself. This also applies to the protection of personal rights when other people are visible on the selfie. They must agree to be photographed and published.
Self-dramatization and self-presentation are important topics in adolescence, as this is how children and young people come to terms with themselves. It’s important that they try out – this can also be in the form of selfies! Accompany your child in this process and, if necessary, also show him the downsides of this trend phenomenon. Very personal pictures do not belong on the web and some experiences are much nicer as memories.
In the following video, our media educator Björn Schreiber answers a father’s question about his daughter’s self-promotion on Instagram:
Did you know that your child can hear even before he or she is born? The ear is the first sensory organ to be formed during pregnancy.
Hearing also plays a special role in baby and toddlerhood. Babies can recognize mom’s voice at an early age. Hearing is important for perceiving the environment and learning to speak. Since young children cannot yet read, they are especially dependent on hearing. They like to be read to or listen to radio plays. As soon as children begin to speak, they narrate to themselves while playing.
Especially at kindergarten age, children can be inspired with audio media. It doesn’t always have to be movies and videos. From the age of about 3 years, you can produce small audio games together or play games with sounds. This trains accurate listening and helps to learn to speak well.
With small children (about 3 years), you can just take a walk and listen carefully: What do we hear? What actually makes a noise?
If your child is already a little older (from 4 years) you can go on a sound safari together. Every smartphone has a built-in microphone, and many also have an app for recording voice memos. Go outside, e.g. to the forest, collect all kinds of sounds together. When you listen to it afterwards, do you or your child recognize what the sounds were?
Produce your own radio play (suitable for children from approx. 4 years). Almost every child has a favorite book or story. Make a little radio play out of it together. Read the dialogues with divided roles and think about how to implement sounds. What does it sound like when it’s raining or storming outside? An overview of how you can create sounds yourself can be found here.
If the weather doesn’t invite you to go outside, your child can solve audio puzzles at audiyoukids.de or Planet Schule, set a story to music themselves or put together an audio play. Accompany your child in this process – especially if he or she cannot yet read. Older children (elementary school age and up) also learn to edit sound recordings here.
Also, check out the reading tips further down this page. There you will find more ideas for creative media projects and more.
Then let’s get to the ears and have fun listening and making sounds together!
At Instagram and especially on the platform TikTok young people repeatedly use the hashtag #egirl or #eboy for certain video clips. There you can see, for example, how a girl transforms into a so-called e-girl. But what is behind it and what meaning does the term have for young people?
The “E” stands for electronic and refers to the generation of young people who have grown up primarily in a digital world. They use online media and move around on social media platforms such as TikTok, Instagram or YouTube. E-girl or e-boy refers to a certain style of presenting oneself and looking. Often, e-girls wear black clothes and eye-catching makeup, such as painted freckles and hearts on their cheeks. Some of the e-boys also style themselves with light makeup or nail polish, and some wear center partings and jewelry. E-boys set themselves apart from the typical image of masculinity. They smile or wink sweetly at the camera and don’t want to appear tough.
Unlike other influencers and fitness bloggers, e-girls and e-boys don’t pose in well-known places or with the perfect beach figure, but usually in their own room. At the same time do not take themselves so seriously. Some of them are just dressed up for the video clip on TikTok, as an e-girl or e-boy, and wouldn’t walk around so conspicuously in school. They use the Internet to try things out.
It is problematic when girls or boys imitate certain characteristics without understanding what is meant by them. There are typical poses of e-girls or e-boys that seem strongly sexualized, even if they are meant ironically. The danger of cybergrooming or abuse of the content by criminals is increased by posting such videos.
The term “e-girl” is sometimes used pejoratively to refer to girls or women in the gaming scene. They show up playing via a stream, as do many male players. But they are more often accused of doing it just for clicks and attention, and of putting on particularly flashy makeup and clothes to do so. We have explained the problematic relationship of gender roles in gaming in more detail in another post: Computer games and the issue of Gender.
Children and young people are still in the process of forming their own personalities. In doing so, they take their cue from others. They find role models in family, friends, the media and elsewhere. At the same time, they want to set themselves apart and be individual. Youth cultures like the e-girl scene are exciting because they are probably different from their usual environment.
Give your child the space to develop, invent, and try things out, but don’t lose touch. This is a balancing act, especially for adolescents going through puberty. Encourage your child’s interests and personal strengths so that he or she can develop freely. Exchange ideas with him about youth cultures and trends. When you were young, did you also dress a certain way to feel like you belonged to a certain group? Did you identify with pride about that or did you find it rather silly to be put into a category?
Under YouTube videos or in social networks, you often find comments from people who are upset, insulting or just ranting. Many users have already had contact with bullying – with themselves or with others. It’s not just people who are in the public eye who get clobbered by other Internet users. Is that just part of life?
It’s not the Internet’s fault that people clash or want to harm each other. On the net, however, it is particularly tempting for some people to cheat, insult or threaten. It’s easier for them to instigate conflict when they don’t directly realize that the other person is suffering. Yet vulgarities are no less bad just because they take place online.
The Internet is by no means a lawless space and no one should have to fear going online. The same rules and laws apply as usual, and it is important that everyone knows and abides by them.
Conflicts always arise between people, even children and young people argue. This is quite normal, and it’s how they learn to deal with conflict – offline and online. However, it is often more difficult for them to assess how far one can go and at what point limits are exceeded. Especially with hate messages and bullying, children and teenagers are sometimes very mean without even realizing it.
The older your child gets, the more he or she is online and can also get into conflicts with adults there. In their teens, children are using more and more platforms or apps where they may encounter messages, comments and content that spread hate, agitation and untruths. It is very important that you do not leave your child alone in this process and prepare them in time on how to deal with it.
The most important thing is that your child knows that you are approachable and supportive when problems and conflicts arise. Children and young people only gradually learn to assess risks and dangers well and to deal with conflicts. Various strategies can be helpful in this regard:
More on the topic of “Conflicts on the Net” can be found at the following points of contact:
– Dealing with hate in social media at the Amadeu Antonio Foundation.
– Bullying at Juuuport.
– Dealing with fraud and misinformation at Mimikama.
Do you know it? You wanted to watch only one episode of your favorite series and then it became three, because it was just so exciting. Your child sometimes feels the same way: he or she is having so much fun watching TV and playing computer games that he or she forgets about the time. Bingewatching” refers to watching several episodes of a series at a time, and this also occurs among children. Binge means “excess” in German and viewing means “to look at”.
For some adults, bingewatching is even a hobby. Streaming services such as Prime Video, Netflix and YouTube have adjusted their offerings accordingly. Series often come as a whole season, so users can easily watch one video after another. From a company’s point of view, this is quite logical: They have an interest in keeping users on their platform for as long as possible.
There are more and more media library apps specifically for children or streaming apps with children’s profiles. YouTube Kids, Netflix, Prime Video and Disney+ are particularly popular. Therefore, it’s no wonder that bingewatching also occurs among children and teenagers, because they find it even harder to turn off the TV or tablet.
Children and young people quickly get carried away by their favorite characters and stories, so that they can hardly tear themselves away from them. Some simply forget to switch off and therefore watch more than agreed. Younger children in particular are not yet very good at regulating their own needs and media use. They are therefore more easily seduced to look further and further.
Sometimes there is simply a lack of alternative occupations. Kids don’t know what to do besides watch TV. Besides, it’s easy to just be sprinkled instead of being active yourself, making up your own stories, drawing something, or anything else.
Some things you can set on your child’s profile on the streaming site itself. For example, you can disable the automatic start of the next episode or set a time limit for some services. If you download certain episodes, your child won’t be drawn to other series and will find it easier to switch off when the agreed viewing time is up. You should become active as soon as your child reacts stressed or annoyed when he or she cannot watch any longer.
Design media usage rules together, especially fixed time slots, and make sure they are followed. As long as your child is not yet able to handle media on his or her own responsibility, support and accompany him or her in this process. Don’t use the favorite show as a punishment or reward, and establish alternative outlets for media use.
If your child is very emotionally attached to the series, you can engage with it together in other ways. Your child can bring the series world to him with toys, by painting or playing with friends and continue telling the stories. This way, your child experiences his or her favorite series even more and can help shape it.
Older children and teenagers should also occasionally allow you to distract them with television during stressful periods. Just make sure that bingewatching is not constantly used to combat stress.
“Just one more round!” or “Leon gets to watch TV much longer!” Almost all parents know this. What media is okay for my child? How much media time is not harmful? At what age does it make sense to have your own smartphone? For such issues, fixed rules can be a great help for parents and children. But they also lead to conflicts in families time and again. We have compiled some tips and background information for you.
Rules are not simply there for adults to determine things; they bring structure to family life. Media usage rules can be used to promote children’s media literacy. As parents, you have a special responsibility to keep an eye on fun and benefits associated with media, but also on risks and dangers. For quite some time, you will be able to assess both better than your child. It is important that your child understands the rules. Therefore, you should be able to justify for yourself and also to your child why certain rules apply and why it is important to follow them. If rules are not clearly stated or are interpreted differently, your child will have a hard time following them. However, this also means that certain rules apply to you as parents and that you act as a role model.
Which rules make sense depends on the age of your child and on how you and your child generally deal with media. It’s not the same in every family.
The younger your child is, the more you should keep an eye on his or her media use. Young children need close supervision and should not spend too much time with media. As parents, decide on age-appropriate content, length of use, and appropriate devices. From elementary school age, your child gets many new impressions and influences. It still needs a lot of orientation, so clear rules are very important. You can now better talk to your child about content and let him or her have a say. From secondary school and adolescence at the latest, you should then trust your child to be more independent and increasingly relinquish control. Young people usually approach digital media openly, but they often cannot yet properly assess security risks. That is why you are still important as an orientation and contact person!
Depending on the age of your child, agree on rules for media use together – for example, by means of a media usage contract. Then your child can better understand and comply with them. Write down rules and place them visibly. Exceptions can also be formulated. Regularly check whether the rules still make sense or can and must be changed. Also, set rules that apply to everyone, such as not taking out the smartphone during a conversation.
A big point of contention is the question of how much time with media is good. In addition to age, this also depends on your child and his or her individual approach to media. Does it quickly get lost in series or computer games or can it put the tablet aside at the end of an episode without any problems? The rule of thumb is: the younger, the less! Media vouchers are a way for children of elementary school age and older to set a weekly budget for a media device, for example. Sometimes this is easier and your child can manage their own time.
It is important that your child has a varied daily routine, uses media in different ways, but also has media-free experiences.
Do you have the entire media ensemble in view? Radio plays and books are also part of media consumption and may appear in the rulebook.
Take into account that the content of media use varies greatly, as do the motives and needs of use. A game for mere diversion or entertainment may be weighted differently than learning with media. Make qualitative distinctions together with your child. Be sure to include age-appropriate content as well.
The question of the right age for the first smartphone occupies many parents. Perhaps consult with parents of your child’s friends and consider whether certain rules can apply to everyone.
When it comes to getting your own phone for the first time or using mom’s tablet, setting options can also restrict access to various content and apps. However, these should be discussed together. Such settings or certain apps can help enforce rules. But these tools are no substitute for guidance from you as parents. Explanations from you and conversations about media make a significant contribution to your child learning to use media competently.
Rules may vary depending on the child’s age and stage of development. On the one hand, stay consistent, otherwise they will not serve their purpose. At the same time, if possible, do not use the rules as a punishment or reward.
Digital media are useful and versatile. With its functions we can organize, learn, create and last but not least have a lot of fun. No wonder they have conquered our everyday life. Because media influence our lives in many ways, being able to use them safely is considered a key skill for getting along in the world, just like being able to read, write and do math. This includes, for example, being able to assess and avoid risks such as fake news, stress online or data theft, recognizing and taking advantage of opportunities such as learning with tutorials , and having the most enjoyable experiences possible with media. All of this is part of media literacy. Media literacy therefore means not only being able to operate technical equipment, but also developing an understanding of how media are made and who makes sure that certain messages are broadcast, for example. Anyone who is media literate knows how and why he or she uses which media. You can assess and avert negative effects, but also approach media and their opportunities in a positive way.
The call for “more media literacy” often refers to children and young people because they are to be prepared for the world of tomorrow. We don’t know this world yet, but we can be sure that media – especially the Internet – will play a major role.
Imagine the Internet is like a city: there are playgrounds, nice stores, but also traffic and unknown people. You don’t just send your little one off, but take the first steps together, showing them everything, e.g. what to look out for when crossing a street, how to use a slide, that you have to pay at the bakery and you don’t just go along with strangers. That’s exactly how it should be on the Internet. Take your child by the hand and accompany them as they explore the digital world.
Developing media literacy is a joint family task right from the start – siblings also play a role. The younger your child, the more you as a parent need to take responsibility for media use and be a role model. As children and adolescents get older, they can and should increasingly be allowed to have their own experiences and discoveries. Stay interested and in conversation with your child throughout this process. Common rules for dealing with media are helpful for you and your children.
To be able to accompany your child, you also need to be media literate. As a parent, you should try to acquire media literacy, together with your child, other parents or through offers from schools and other educational institutions. The same applies to teachers, since they are supposed to teach children and young people and promote their media skills. At ARD, you can find a lot of information, video clips, etc. online under “Strengthening media competence together“.
It is also important for other reasons that all people develop media literacy. Many professionals are continuing their education because work processes are organized digitally. Older people have many opportunities and possibilities to use media in everyday life for their own purposes; grandma and grandpa, for example, can stay in touch with their grandson via video chat. If you want to find out how competent you are in dealing with media, try this self-test.
Remember how you used to suffer along with the main character of your favorite show when she experienced something terrible? Is it that the news anchor greets you at the same time every night and you greet back inside? In the case of your child, it may be the influencer who is visited on the smartphone shortly before bedtime to say “Good night! These are all examples of so-called “parasocial relationships” that each of us enters into.
Typical of this type of relationship is that they are always one-sided and the relationship remains imaginary. So it’s not like a parent-child relationship where both sides are active and you can give each other a hug. An emotional bond, such as with the series character or the favorite news anchor, is still there. In the past, this was mainly known from television, but today the Internet plays a major role – especially among children and young people.
Influencers often let their audience actively participate in their lives – via videos, Instagram stories or live chats, teenagers can be very close to their idol. Private information is also posted. For example, Bibi let her followers share the birth of her child. This apparent closeness often creates a sense of friendship on the part of their followers.
For adolescents in particular, such parasocial relationships are also helpful: especially during puberty, they can serve as role models in cases of insecurity. They can help to find and consolidate one’s own identity. And they can provide guidance, even on serious topics like first love that their children may be reluctant to discuss with their own parents.
However, care should be taken to ensure that children and young people do not take refuge in this media world and its characters and stop building “real” social relationships, because interaction with “real” people – family members and peers – is important for development.
A parasocial relationship is something totally normal. It is important that your child understands that these relationships are not a substitute for friendships. In addition, a critical look at your favorite social media stars should never be missing. This is where you as a parent come in – show interest in your children’s role models, and discuss the positives and negatives of these relationships. And if you find it hard to relate to your child’s parasocial relationship with an Internet star – remember your own youth and your own idols. How did you feel at that time?
This article is a guest post by Dana Neuleitner.
Computer games are very popular with children and young people. Whether building cities, fighting against villains or diving into distant worlds together with friends – there are hardly any limits to your imagination. As parents, however, you are often in a quandary. On the one hand, they are aware of the potential that virtual worlds can offer their children. Because there are already numerous digital educational games available for the youngest children. On the other hand, many fear that their offspring will meet cybercriminals online, develop addictive behavior or be exposed to virtual violence that they cannot handle.
Studies by the Max Planck Institute for Human Development show that video games such as Super Mario 64 can increase spatial thinking, memory formation and fine motor skills, as well as strategic planning. The North Rhine-Westphalia Media Authority (LfM) also highlights positive learning effects in its “Best Practice Compass. Computer Games in the Classroom” also highlights positive learning effects. This includes, for example, the ability to create cognitive maps or to train algorithmic thinking. Children and young people tend to learn in a hidden way when playing computer games, for example by improving their hand-eye coordination or dexterity. However, the violence aspect that underlies many online games is also objected to here, as is the gender issue. Because often, similar to the advertising industry, stereotypes or certain ideas of beauty and strength are used. This is where the model project WERTE LEBEN – ONLINE of the JUUUPORT e.V. which, among other things, aims to dispel prejudices against female gamers. Young people also campaign there for more respect, tolerance and compassion on the Net.
Some initiatives and projects tie in here. The project “(Cyber-)Mobbing – Explained!” sensitizes students to the topic of bullying, for example, and the webinar on the topic of “Respectful in Online Games” is intended to train children and young people in dealing with gamer language. In online multiplayer games, individual team members must communicate with each other to exchange ideas about possible moves, for example. This can foster teamwork and tactical thinking. At the same time, there is concern that children and young people may also come into contact with insults and bullying through online exchanges.
Another issue many parents face is violent scenes in computer games that could potentially disturb children. With the rise of first-person shooter games, fears have been raised that such games could lead to copycat crimes. However, a study by researchers at the University of York showed that violence in digital games does not necessarily trigger aggressive behavior.
The positive learning effects of computer games can even be harnessed for teaching with gamification and inspire children in language lessons, for example. Because when learning is fun, it happens almost all by itself. However, to achieve this, schools would need to be properly equipped and in-service training would need to be provided to teachers.
If children and young people are carefully introduced to the subject and made familiar with possible dangers, digital games offer them a learning environment that can support them in many areas. To do this, it is helpful to study and inform oneself about the topic in order to create an optimal environment for the offspring and to always stay up to date so that potential dangers can be successfully managed.
About the author:
Dana Neuleitner is a student assistant at merz | medien + erziehung and studies media and communication at the University of Passau. Her areas of focus include media linguistics, cross-media and public communication.
Teenagers in particular attach great importance to the opinions of their peers. This probably explains the popularity of an app like Tellonym. But in addition to appreciative and nice comments, their users can be anonymously insulted and insulted by others. If your child uses this app, you should be aware of its use and associated risks, such as cyberbullying.
“Tellonym is the most honest place on the Internet. Find out what your friends of you, answer anonymous questions, and ask others things you never dared to ask before! never dared before!”
This is the slogan with which the app Tellonym advertises for new users in the app stores. Tellonym is where you get anonymous feedback and ratings from friends and strangers. The app is especially attractive for teenagers.
Registration is done via your own phone number or e-mail address, whereupon you receive a link to forward to friends and acquaintances. They could then leave a comment on their own profile – even anonymously – without having to register separately. For the time being, comments are only visible to the person who receives them. If the user replies, the comment appears publicly in the user’s profile. In addition to positive comments such as compliments, there are also negative, so-called “tells” in which users insult or sexually harass other users.
To easily see what’s happening on other Tellonymer’s profiles, you can follow other users. This can also be done anonymously by clicking the “anonymous” button again within three seconds after clicking “Follow”. The follower count visibly adjusts anyway. It is also possible to connect your account with Instagram, X or Snapchat or to synchronize your account with your phone contacts. However, this is a major invasion of privacy, which is why we do not recommend activating this function for data protection reasons.
The age recommendation of the app varies depending on the provider (USK: 12 years, iTunes Play Store: 17+ years). According to the terms and conditions at Tellonym itself, if you are a minor, you need parental permission to register and must be at least 13 years old. However, if you register with the app, you only have to choose between “I am 16 or older” or “I am younger than 16”. If you indicate that you are under 16, parental consent is requested but not verified. As a parent, you can best assess whether your child is already comfortable with the app and its risks.
Most concerning is the risk of cyberbullying via the app. Since it is possible to write tells anonymously, i.e. under the protection of not being recognized, the inhibition threshold for some users to attack, insult or harass others with sexual comments is lowered.
Tellonym providers are aware of the problem of cyberbullying and provide parents with tips on how to protect themselves from attacks on their website. Thus, the reception of completely anonymous messages from non-registered users can be disabled. Certain words as well as senders of certain messages can be blocked. However, this is not 100% possible if the sender or senderess is not registered with Tellonym. Therefore, it is recommended to completely disable receiving anonymous messages from non-registered users. Messages can also be reported if they violate Tellomym ‘s TOS. According to its own statement, reported posts are checked and deleted if necessary.
In general, every message sent is supposed to pass through a filter – but how exactly this works remains unclear. Tellonym points out the difficulty of a good balance between censorship and protection.
Your child wants to use the app or is already an enthusiastic Tellonymer? Listen to him about the reasons he wants to use the app and whether he is aware of the possible risks. Especially if your child is younger than 16, you should get to know the app together with, look at the security settings and adjust them. You can find good and pictorial instructions on this at Klicksafe.
Talk to your child about what to do if he or she encounters cyberbullying or similar and receives unpleasant or abusive messages.
Almost every family has smartphones, and many families also have tablets. Children adopt these mobile devices from an early age with their parents and older siblings. But do they belong in the daycare center?
Since media are part of children’s living environment, they should also be a topic in the daycare center. The children come to the group with media experiences from home and tell what they saw on YouTube yesterday or what big brother played on mom’s smartphone. At this point, the daycare center is in demand as an educational institution. This does not mean that the children learn how to swipe around on the tablet. This is not even necessary, because the little ones learn the wiping technique quite naturally at the age of one to two years. It’s more about the children learning what media actually are, what they’re about, and what you can do with them.
Digital media should be used in the daycare center just like other media, e.g. books – to learn and discover through play. You can use these devices to express yourself creatively instead of just passively consuming: discover the forest on a photo safari, make an animated film together, watch a multimedia picture book, and much more. The aim of using media in daycare centers is to promote media literacy. This means making children strong enough for a sovereign life in dealing with media. Of course, media work in the daycare center should be age-oriented to the basic needs and interests of the children and support their development in every way. And most importantly, the children’s media skills are promoted jointly by the daycare center and parents. Do you know if your daycare center has a media concept? Just ask!
