Whether in class chats, on social media or via a search engine – many children and young people come across pornography while surfing, whether intentionally or not. According to a study conducted by the NRW Media Authority in 2023, the average age of first contact is 13, which is nothing unusual.
However, according to the JIM study by the Media Education Research Association Southwest 2023, one in four of the 12-19-year-olds surveyed came into contact with pornography unintentionally. When children and young people are unintentionally exposed to pornographic photos or videos, it can be overwhelming and stressful for them. It becomes particularly critical when it comes to so-called “hard pornography”.
In the case of pornographic content, a distinction is made between simple and hardcore pornography:
You can find out more about the legal provisions on pornography on the Internet here at klicksafe.
Accompany your child as they take their first steps on the Internet and explain to them that they may come across content that they find unpleasant. If your child accidentally comes into contact with simple pornography, be there for them as a contact person. Especially with younger children, it is important not to leave them alone with such experiences. They are often unable to properly categorize what they see because it is outside their own sphere of experience. Provide age-appropriate information if your child asks questions about love and sexuality. If you are unsure, seek support, for example from the parents’ helpline of the Nummer gegen Kummer.
If your child shows you prohibited content of hard pornography on the Internet, for example on a website or social media, proceed as follows:
The possession of depictions of abuse is a punishable offense; young people aged 14 and over are liable to prosecution in Germany. If your child is sent a photo or video via chat that is suspected of showing abuse of children and young people, you should act immediately:
Discuss these points with your child. The Internet Complaints Office has summarized further information on how to deal with misrepresentations on the Internet in this PDF document.
Keep in touch with your child about their media use and prepare them for the fact that they may be confronted with problematic content or communication risks online. Establish media rules in the family that everyone adheres to. For example, not responding to contact from strangers or not clicking on links that strangers share in chat messages or emails. For younger children in particular, use technical measures to protect minors from harmful media, such as filter programs for surfing or children’s accounts for apps. Make settings such as deactivating the automatic media download on WhatsApp so that your child does not accidentally save prohibited material. Explain to your child what is allowed and what is not allowed when it comes to pornography. Make it clear to your child when forwarding pornographic content makes them liable to prosecution. In this article, you can read more tips on how you can help your child deal with pornography online and how you can protect them from content that is harmful to minors with the help of technical youth media protection.
During puberty, adolescents’ bodies go through major changes that they first have to come to terms with. At the same time, young people are looking for affirmation and recognition. Social media such as Instagram,
TikTok
and
WhatsApp
also play a role: selfies are sent or posted in the hope of receiving positive feedback. Influencers show themselves in perfect and slim bodies that serve as role models for young people.
Sometimes young people cannot find a contact person among their family or friends or prefer to talk to strangers out of insecurity. The Internet offers many opportunities to obtain information and exchange information anonymously.
In addition to a lot of helpful information, you can unfortunately also find offers on the Internet that glorify self-harming behavior by people – especially young people. Pro-ana or pro-mia blogs are forums where people suffering from an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia can contact each other and exchange ideas. It is mainly young girls who meet there. Pro-Ana or Pro-Mia are deliberately chosen abbreviations for Pro-Anorexia Nervosa (anorexia nervosa) and Pro-Bulimia Nervosa (binge eating disorder). Blogs are not about supporting each other in getting a handle on the disease. Instead, the disease is presented as a lifestyle. In “Thinspirations”, members of the communities share their photos and videos of beauty ideals. This can include features such as protruding bones or the gap between the thighs.
In WhatsApp groups, young people encourage each other to eat as little as possible. These groups often come about via eating disorder blogs or calls on social media platforms. The group members take part in hunger challenges or have to prove that they have lost weight by taking a photo of the scales every week. Those who don’t follow the rules are kicked out or receive punishments such as deliberate vomiting or an extra portion of sport. The blogs and social media profiles also contain glorifying content such as professions of faith or the ten pro-ana commandments: “If I’m not thin, then I can’t be attractive” is the first commandment, for example.
Many pro-ana blogs have now been blocked or are no longer in operation. Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok and other social media platforms also block content with the respective hashtags and refer to advice services instead. However, there are still blogs that are not yet blocked and social media sites that are less strictly controlled, such as TikTok. This means that it is still easy to view glorifying images and videos or access WhatsApp groups.
Children and adolescents with eating disorders find reassurance in such online exchange spaces. The strong sense of community encourages them to continue their self-harming behavior. This can be particularly dangerous if risks are dismissed, group members are urged to keep their illness a secret and refuse outside help.
First of all, it is important that you are always the contact person for your child, also with regard to their Internet use. It is difficult for you to prevent your child from encountering inappropriate content. You should therefore talk to your child about the fact that there are also problematic sites and communication risks on the Internet and always stand by their side. If you yourself end up on websites that specifically glorify eating disorders, contact the platform’s support or have them checked by a reporting office.
Regardless of your child’s online use, you should always boost your child’s self-esteem and avoid negative comments about their appearance or weight. If you suspect an eating disorder, you can find information and help from counseling centers, e.g. the Federal Center for Health Education or digital counseling services for children and adolescents.
Snapchat ist ein kostenfreier Messenger zum Versenden von Fotos und kurzen Videos. Die Besonderheit: Das lustige Selfie mit den Hasenohren oder ähnliche Bilder „verschwinden“ nach kurzer Zeit vom Bildschirm des Empfängers.
Mit Snapchat können Fotos und kurze Videos als Nachricht oder als Story an Kontakte versendet werden. Diese Snaps, also Schnappschüsse, sind nur für bis zu 24 Stunden sichtbar und „zerstören“ sich danach selbst. Die Fotos und Videos können mit unzähligen Filtern bearbeitet werden. Mit der „Memorys-Funktion“ können Nutzerinnen bestimmte Inhalte abspeichern. Neben den privaten Storys von Freunden gibt es Inhalte von Stars und Marken. Über die Funktion „Spotlight” lassen sich außerdem kreative Kurzvideos im TikTok-Stil veröffentlichen. Userinnen können über sogenannte „Snap Codes“ sowie über ihre Handynummer gefunden werden, wenn dies in den Einstellungen aktiviert ist. Das eigene Profil enthält nur Bilder und Videos, andere persönliche Angaben werden nicht gemacht. Mit der Kartenfunktion „Snap Map“ kann man sehen, wo sich die eigenen Kontakte gerade aufhalten.
Wer Snapchat nutzt, ist seit Februar 2023 automatisch mit dem Chatbot My AI befreundet. Dahinter steckt eine künstliche Intelligenz, die Fragen beantwortet, chattet und insgesamt wie ein „echter“ Freund daherkommt. Für die Nutzerinnen kann das ein nettes Spielzeug sein – ist jedoch auch mit Vorsicht zu genießen. Löschen lässt sich der Chatbot nur sehr umständlich und mit einem kostenpflichtigen Snapchat+-Abonnement.
Snapchat+ bietet für 4,49 Euro/Monat die Premium-Version, dort testen die Anbieter noch nicht veröffentlichte Features. Besonders für Kinder und Jugendliche ist das reizvoll: Es gibt mehr Optionen, den eigenen Avatar (genannt „BitMoji“) zu gestalten, und mehr Informationen über Freundeskonstellationen als mit einem regulären Snapchat-Konto.
Die App gehört zu den beliebtesten Anwendungen bei Jugendlichen ab 13 Jahren. Teenager nutzen Snapchat sehr gern, um sich mit ihren Freundinnen auszutauschen. Dazu werden statt Text einfach Bilder und Videos versendet. Die Nutzung der Spaßfilter, Videos, die mit Musik unterlegt werden können, und selbst verschwindende Nachrichten machen den Reiz der App aus. Snapchat wirkt jugendlicher und verspielter als z. B. Instagram. Die Kommunikation erscheint Jugendlichen privater, da nur mit einzelnen oder in Gruppen Inhalte ausgetauscht werden. Auf der „Snap Map“ werden Personen als Avatare dargestellt, weshalb sie wie ein Spiel wirkt.
Alle Inhalte auf Snapchat zerstören sich nicht wirklich selbst, sondern sie lassen sich nach einer bestimmten Zeit nur nicht mehr aufrufen. Mit etwas technischem Know-how sind sie auf dem Gerät wiederherzustellen. Oder es wird einfach ein Screenshot gemacht – darüber wird der Versender des Bildes allerdings informiert. Trotzdem kann es problematisch werden, wenn Kinder und Jugendliche sehr persönliche – vielleicht sogar intime – Bilder und Videos von sich versenden und diese z. B. über Cybermobbing gegen sie verwendet werden. Durch die Vielzahl der versendeten Inhalte ist die Kontrolle darüber schwierig. Kinder und Jugendliche sollten daher genau wissen, wie sie die Melde- und Blockierfunktionen nutzen können. Das ist im Falle der unerwünschten Kontaktaufnahme besonders sinnvoll. Unter anderem deswegen ist auch die Funktion „Snap Map” kritisch zu sehen. Denn jedes Mal, wenn man Snapchat öffnet, wird auch die Snap Map aktualisiert. Und aus diesen Informationen lassen sich ziemlich viele Schlüsse ziehen wie Adresse, Schule oder Hobbys; auch von eher unbekannten Online-Freunden. Auch aus diesem Grund ist es wichtig, sich gut zu überlegen, wen man in den eigenen Kontakten aufnimmt.
Auch bestimmte Inhalte können für Jugendliche problematisch sein. Dazu zählen nicht altersgemäße Bilder ebenso wie unangemessene Werbung oder Snaps von Marken und Produkten.
Nutzende müssen sich an die Regeln der Plattform Snap halten. Die Nutzung von Snapchat ist Jugendlichen ab 13 Jahren nur mit der Erlaubnis ihrer Eltern gestattet. Es erfolgt allerdings keine technische Prüfung der Altersangabe.
Generell ist es verboten, nicht jugendfreie Inhalte, wie z. B. pornografische Bilder, zu verbreiten oder zu bewerben. Minderjährige dürfen keine Nacktbilder oder sexuell aufreizende Inhalte von sich posten oder versenden. Sicherheitsprobleme können innerhalb des deutschsprachigen Sicherheitscenters des Dienstes gemeldet werden. Außerdem ist es möglich, andere Nutzende zu blockieren und zu melden. Sogenannte Content-Manager prüfen Verstöße gegen die Snapchat-Richtlinien.
Snapchat sammelt jede Menge Daten von seinen Nutzern und erläutert das sehr offen in seinen Datenschutzbestimmungen – auch, dass Daten teilweise an Dritte weitergegeben werden. Die Daten, die man über Snapchat versendet, werden bei der Übertragung verschlüsselt. Über das Family Center können Eltern in der App verschiedene Kontrollfunktionen nutzen.
Über das Family Center von Snapchat erhalten Eltern Möglichkeiten über Kontrollfunktionen, z.B. einen Überblick zu den Aktivitäten ihres Kindes oder die Einrichtung von Inhaltskontrollen in der App. Um sich mit dem Konto des Kindes zu verbinden, wird allerdings ein eigener Snapchat-Account benötigt. Jugendliche müssen der Verbindung auch selbst zustimmen.
Wenn Ihr Kind die App gern nutzen möchte, sollten Sie unbedingt über mögliche Gefahren sprechen. Regeln Sie, wer die geteilten Inhalte sehen kann und wer nicht. Gehen Sie gemeinsam die Einstellungen durch. Erklären Sie Ihrem Kind, dass versendete Bilder per Screenshot vom Empfänger abgespeichert werden können. Es ist dringend zu empfehlen, dass Jugendliche nur Freundinnen und Freunde zu ihrer Liste hinzufügen, die sie tatsächlich kennen. Eine gute Übersicht zum sicheren Umgang mit Snapchat bietet Jugendlichen das Angebot Handysektor.
Sprechen Sie über die Funktion Snap Map: Was bedeutet die Sichtbarmachung des eigenen Standorts, welche Folgen und Risiken gehen damit einher und wird die Funktion überhaupt gebraucht? Das Teilen des Standortes kann auch unbewusst passieren (beim Öffnen der App). Dies kann im sogenannten „Geistmodus“ (Ghost Mode) verhindert werden. Auch kann der App die Berechtigung entzogen werden, auf den Standort zuzugreifen. Wenn eine Freundin Ihres Kindes Snapchat+ nutzt, sollte besonders darauf geachtet werden, die Tracking-Funktion zu deaktivieren oder die Person zu blockieren.
Twitter has been called X since July 2023. Not only the logo with the blue bird is passé, the American entrepreneur and new owner Elon Musk also wants to rebuild the platform concept. The popular social media offering is to become a multifunction app. After more than 15 years, this marks the end of the Twitter brand.
X works similarly to Facebook or Instagram, for example: A profile is created with personal information that others can follow. However, many users simply follow the postings of others. Famous personalities such as soccer players, female influencers, politicians or even journalists have the largest following. Companies and brands are also represented at X. In the “Follow Me” timeline, posts from subscribed channels appear chronologically. The “For You” feed shows content recommended by an algorithm. Unregistered readers can see posts, but cannot follow anyone directly.
Posts often consist of text only and are hashtagged. A maximum of 280 characters, i.e. letters, numbers, punctuation marks and symbols, can be used in one post. But also pictures, videos etc. can be sent and shared. Those who sign up for the X Blue premium subscription get advanced features such as post editing, longer messages with more characters, and fewer ads.
The peculiarity of X is that the short statements of mostly well-known people lead to discussions outside of X. US President Trump’s posts are a good example of this. The repost function also plays a role here. Posts are shared or referred to in a separate post. Discussions also often arise in the comments under the posts. In addition, direct messages can be written via a chat.
X is used relatively little by young people compared to other social media platforms. If they do, they are often politically interested and committed young people. But popular stars and musicians are also on X and post information about themselves.
The fascination around X is, on the one hand, the discussions, in which things sometimes go back and forth violently. On the other hand, some posts are sent out quickly and spontaneously. If you follow the posts at big events like soccer matches or elections, you get to see the reaction of the spectators live.
Personal information and statements are freely available to all. Through hashtags, posts that were actually intended for a small circle can suddenly be seen by very many users. Also, there is a risk that some users may try to contact your child with bad intentions.
Some discussion on X goes below the belt with racist or sexist posts or comments. In addition to hate comments, the spread of fake news can also be a problem.
Billionaire Elon Musk bought Twitter in late 2022 and wants to transform the microblogging service into a multifunctional app including payment services and online commerce. The terms of use have not changed since then. X may be used from 13 years, according to the provider. There is also the option to block users so that they can no longer make contact. People who post problematic content, such as hate comments or insults, can be reported and blocked. Content moderation has been reduced since Elon Musk took over.
If your child is under 18, you must agree to register with X. Make your child aware of how to report or block problematic content or people on X if needed. With the option to protect your own posts, they can be seen only by a selected circle. Explain to your child who may be able to see personal information and statements and what the consequences may be. Help your child understand and classify content on X by talking to them about how discussions can get heated and what other risks there are. If your child is interested in X or similar services, look at alternatives together, such as the decentralized microblogging platform Mastodon.
Formerly known as Facebook Messenger the app from Meta (previously Facebook ) is now only called Messenger . It is connected to one’s Facebook account and works like other messenger services.
With your own Facebook account, Messenger can only be used after installing the Messenger app (and not via the Facebook app). Sending messages, voice messages, and photos and videos are possible in individual and group chats. As with WhatsApp can be used to send self-deleting messages that are end-to-end encrypted . Group chats and video calls are protected from third-party access. In addition, via the Messenger Playing online games with friends or Story be shared. Thus, Facebook functions are combined with a chat.
As fewer and fewer young people have a Facebook account, they also use Messenger less frequently than WhatsApp . For Facebook users, Messenger is convenient because they can use one account to reach many other people on Facebook reach Not even the cell phone number of the persons is needed for this. Contact with new or not so close acquaintances can then be made via Facebook can be produced easily.
Theoretically, any person with a Facebook profile can be contacted by all other users. Therefore, there is a risk of being written to and possibly harassed by strangers.
The Messenger requires many access rights to one’s own phone, e.g. to contacts, other apps, the microphone or the camera. Meta has been criticized for processing a particularly large amount of user data and passing it on to companies that use it, for example, for Advertising use This also applies to WhatsApp and Instagram which also belong to Meta belong.
There are some presets that are supposed to provide more security. For example, requests from friends end up in the inbox, while messages from strangers are initially filed under “Message requests”. These messages can be accepted or rejected. In addition, the app filters possible Spam messages out. In the privacy settings, you can restrict the visibility of your own profile and the content you share.
Facebook has a extensive help section with special pages for parents , Teenagers and pedagogical specialists have been set up. There you will also find, among other things, further information and support in dealing with unsolicited messages in the Messenger .
For younger children under 13, the Messenger for privacy reasons, even though it is available in the App Store and Google Play Store is characterized for a younger age. If your child is between 13 and 16 years old, he or she can use the Messenger if you have consented as a parent.
Remember that social contacts become more and more important for your child with puberty and that digital communication The same applies to conversations in the playground or on the way to school. You should decide together from when it can use the app. Talk about risks such as Cybergrooming and cyberbullying and support your child in Dealing with social networks . Educate your child on what they can do if they feel uncomfortable or harassed in chat and always be approachable. Never should your child send pictures or share personal information with a stranger. If your child has an unpleasant experience, show understanding. Think together about what you can do about it. Also use the Privacy settings From Facebook .
Basically, you should make your child aware: On the servers of Facebook and Meta everything it sends is stored. People who work at Facebook work, have access to the messages, for example to check reported messages. As a result, the messages are never completely private. You can also send encrypted messages to Facebook exchange information: Here you can learn how to start a secret conversation.
Also, consider using alternative messengers, such as the following. collect less data – for example, we provide you with Signal or Threema before.
Surely you know WhatsApp the Facebook Messenger or Signal . But have you heard about TeamSpeak and Discord heard? If your child (or you yourself) enjoys playing computer games, you may have encountered the terms. These are programs that gamers use to communicate while playing – via chat or headset.
The English name TeamSpeak means “to speak in a group”. Mumble and Discord are also used for this purpose. To communicate with each other, each user connects to a server or creates one himself. Others can join these servers and organize themselves into channels. The players can then use these to talk (via Internet telephony or VoIP) and write (via chat) to each other. The software may be used in accordance with the European Data Protection Regulation (DSGVO) from 16 years, with parental consent from 13 years. The USK classification of the tools partly differs from the terms and conditions of the individual tools.
Playing online games is particularly appealing to children and young people when it takes place together with friends or other players. They enjoy competing with others. Although gaming often takes place alone in front of a screen, for many gamers it is part of the experience to exchange ideas during the game. TeamSpeak, Mumble and Discord are good options for this. These communication tools also work when a game is being played on the side. Since TeamSpeak and Discord are very common, young gamers can meet their friends and make new acquaintances there. The possibility to create channels publicly or privately allows communication on different levels – for private exchange as well as for information.
If your child is a gamer and wants to use one of the programs, you should decide together which one is suitable. Do some research on the offers and their security settings. If possible, try the tool beforehand. Since some programs collect personal data, you should be aware of the current data protection regulations and privacy settings.
Talk to your child about the responsible use of such programs and what dangers are involved. Personal data should not be disclosed to strangers in the chat. It is also possible to come into contact with unknown people. Agree with your child that he or she can turn to you at any time if he or she comes into contact with unpleasant or frightening content. Among other things, people with right-wing extremist views also exchange information via such platforms. You should keep this danger in mind if your son or daughter wants to use the tools.
Under YouTube videos or in social networks, you often find comments from people who are upset, insulting or just ranting. Many users have already had contact with bullying – with themselves or with others. It’s not just people who are in the public eye who get clobbered by other Internet users. Is that just part of life?
It’s not the Internet’s fault that people clash or want to harm each other. On the net, however, it is particularly tempting for some people to cheat, insult or threaten. It’s easier for them to instigate conflict when they don’t directly realize that the other person is suffering. Yet vulgarities are no less bad just because they take place online.
The Internet is by no means a lawless space and no one should have to fear going online. The same rules and laws apply as usual, and it is important that everyone knows and abides by them.
Conflicts always arise between people, even children and young people argue. This is quite normal, and it’s how they learn to deal with conflict – offline and online. However, it is often more difficult for them to assess how far one can go and at what point limits are exceeded. Especially with hate messages and bullying, children and teenagers are sometimes very mean without even realizing it.
The older your child gets, the more he or she is online and can also get into conflicts with adults there. In their teens, children are using more and more platforms or apps where they may encounter messages, comments and content that spread hate, agitation and untruths. It is very important that you do not leave your child alone in this process and prepare them in time on how to deal with it.
The most important thing is that your child knows that you are approachable and supportive when problems and conflicts arise. Children and young people only gradually learn to assess risks and dangers well and to deal with conflicts. Various strategies can be helpful in this regard:
More on the topic of “Conflicts on the Net” can be found at the following points of contact:
– Dealing with hate in social media at the Amadeu Antonio Foundation.
– Bullying at Juuuport.
– Dealing with fraud and misinformation at Mimikama.
For many young people, it is normal to let others peek into their everyday lives through pictures and videos on social networks. However, some moments are so personal that you don’t want to share them with all your Instagram friends and followers, but only with selected people. For this purpose, Instagram has developed the filter function for “close friends” and, with Instagram Threads , a matching Messenger app.
With Instagram threads, communication is limited to the self-determined close circle of friends. When you open the app, the camera opens directly. The app is so reminiscent of Snapchat. Photos, Stories, and your own status can be shared and messages exchanged with selected friends. Best friends can send photos to each other via speed dial with just one click. A special feature is the auto status, which the app can create automatically from its own location and movement data. This shows friends whether you are currently at home, on vacation or eating pizza downtown, for example.
One advantage of Threads is that you can use it without the original Instagram app on your smartphone if you just want to check your Instagram messages from time to time.
The app is reduced to sending messages and photos with friends. You can check the news without being distracted by the latest pictures and stories of all your subscribed Instagram profiles. It’s more about sharing photos and messages with closer contacts.
Instagram is not only used by young people, but also by many adults and all kinds of celebrities and companies. This means that young people are not really “among themselves” – but with threads they are.
Although the app promises more privacy because you only communicate with “close friends” via it, at the same time you do without it when you activate the auto status. If your child decides to do so, the app permanently collects data about where your child is, how fast he or she is moving and what his or her battery level currently is. Then not only the app providers, but also everyone in your friends list will know where you are.
Many influencers have discovered the “close friends” feature as a way to make money. People can pay to be added to their list and then receive exclusive and/or private content from their Instagram likes. This has nothing to do with friendship and privacy, it’s all about making money.
With parental consent, children are allowed to create an Instagram account when they are 13 years old. According to Instagram, the location and movement data it needs for Auto Status will not be used for advertising purposes. However, they are collected all the time, even when the app is not in use.
If you decide to agree to the use of Instagram threads, you should go through the account with your child and the settings together. Talk about the consequences of sharing your location in Stories or Status and define in the settings which data the app can and cannot access.
The app only adds value if you really only communicate with good friends through it. Your child should definitely only add people to the “close friends” list that he or she knows. Set rules together about what content your child should and should not share. You can refer to our “Legal notices for social media use” for guidance.
Try to understand why it is important to your child to share a status or certain personal information. Discuss the dangers and risks so your child can understand them. Talking openly about this is important so your child knows they can confide in you if harassment, upsetting content, and cyberbullying occur.
Messenger apps like WhatsApp are among the “must haves” of most smartphone users – including children and young people. In school, class chats can be very handy. You can talk to each other about learning material, homework and organizational things. However, such chat groups can also become a burden.
Messenger apps are used to communicate either personally with individuals or in group chats with several people. There are family groups, chats among friends or the sports team, class chats and many more.
Anyone can create a chat group and, as an administrator, add members who use the same messenger and are saved in Contacts. Each person who is part of the group can send messages, photos or videos that will be seen by all members. Administration and write permissions can be assigned to members depending on the messenger service.
Many children from the age of about 10 have their own smartphone and use a messenger. That’s why many school classes have group chats, through which children share important and unimportant things with each other. Moreover, they can talk about it without adults at all.
Such a chat can strengthen the sense of community in a class. The only problem is when not everyone has a smartphone and the corresponding app. Individual students may feel left out and not get certain things. Peer pressure can also play a role here.
Lots of kids in a chat group often means lots of messages. There are different opinions about what is interesting or funny. Some want to share this with others, others are annoyed by the flood of news. Chain letters are also often spread via class chats and not everyone can handle them safely. Important news can quickly get lost in the shuffle. It can also lead to stress when your cell phone beeps constantly and you feel like you always have to respond.
Not only in personal communication, but also via chat, conflicts can arise among each other. In the worst case, individuals are bullied. In group chats, this can get out of hand, and those who insult others via their smartphone don’t notice how the person on the other side reacts and may continue to do so.
Another problem is data protection. Quickly, a photo or a cell phone number is shared with everyone via the group chat without thinking about who the message will reach. Such messages can be redistributed and saved by everyone. The messenger services themselves also treat their users’ data with varying degrees of sensitivity. From WhatsApp for example, a lot of data is stored and passed on unnoticed.
Some young people also use chat groups to send problematic content, such as depictions of the sexual abuse of children and young people, or to influence the opinions of members. It happens that you regularly receive unwanted group invitations.
With all of these risks, first consider your child’s right and desire to be part of the class community. This does not have to mean disregarding hazards. Your child should also know these. Therefore, talk to him about it. The choice of messenger service, security settings and chat rules can limit the risks.
Talk to the parents of other children and consider working together to use a data-saving messenger service like Signal or Threema can be agreed upon. Show your child what privacy settings and security features the smartphone and messenger app itself offers – such as blocking or reporting contacts. In addition, the question of how to inform those who do not have a smartphone or the respective messenger app should be clarified so that no social coercion is created.
It is at least as important to agree on rules about how you want to treat each other – this applies not only offline, but also online. This could include, for example, that only certain things may be written about, that there are times when writing is allowed, or that insults and sending personal pictures are prohibited. More tips on this can be found at Handysektor. When it comes to boundary violations, insults and cyberbullying, it is important not to look away, but to react actively. It should be determined in class who to turn to if you or someone else is treated unfairly in the chat. Selected confidants can be trusted adults or classmates who have been trained in advance.
In addition, you should act as a good role model by, for example, putting your cell phone away when talking to others, using a safe messenger, and not sharing pictures of your child in the family group without asking. Then your child will also be able to use chat groups safely and with fun.
Frank’s daughter is constantly holding her smartphone because she’s afraid of missing something in the digital space. The phenomenon is called “Fear Of Missing Out”, or FOMO for short. Media educator Lidia de Reese explains why Messenger and Co. can also be overwhelming and what you can do about it.
Mark wonders what the challenges are in using messenger services and what he and his son (16) should look out for? Media educator Björn Schreiber gives a few hints and answers.
The smartphone vibrates, the familiar message tone sounds, you immediately reach for the device and absolutely have to know who is writing. Teenagers feel like they’re constantly checking to see if they’ve received new text or voice messages, or if they’ve received comments and likes on social media posts. This may sound familiar to you as a parent, and you may have the impression that at some moments nothing is more important to your child than his or her smartphone. It is a very typical phenomenon – not only among young people. This phenomenon even has a name: FOMO stands for “Fear of missing out” and describes the fear of missing out or not noticing something.
Communicating via messenger services and social media is very important for young people to maintain friendships, communicate and test the effect on others. Experiences and adventures are shared, conflicts are fought out, first infatuations and relationships are experienced. With the smartphone, young people can do this independently, unobserved by adults and in a self-determined manner. But of course, this can also lead to a feeling of stress if you think you have to be constantly available and react quickly to messages. Group chats play a special role in this.
When using messenger services in a group, especially “class chat,” special challenges arise once again. Because your child naturally wants to know what is happening and being discussed there when digital communication takes place after and before school or on the weekend. For children who are not allowed to be present here, the feeling of being completely left out quickly arises because they do not hear a large part of the class discussions. For those who are there, class chats often mean a lot of messages, even late at night and still or early in the morning. The stress and pressure of being there and getting behind, being able to respond to what is written, can feel great and burdensome.
Rules for using such group or class chats can help: Agree on times when your child will use them. However, agreements reached should primarily be about how to deal with each other in such chats. Important: The issue affects not only your family, but everyone in your child’s class. Therefore, it is best to discuss the topic at parents’ evening or seek a conversation with the parents of school friends.
The basic question applies to all of us, young people and adults alike: How can smartphones and especially messengers be used more consciously? In studies, young people themselves even say that they feel stressed or annoyed when friends or parents constantly look at their smartphones. We adults must be role models for a conscious use of digital media here. This also includes talking openly in the family about why it is so important for us to always react quickly and not want to miss anything, for example because we are then excited and feel a sense of happiness. Together as a family, consider what can be done to relieve some of the stress and create space. For example, you can think together about when to simply put the smartphone away or set the flight mode so that one is not always immediately notified – whether it is at dinner, movie night, bedtime, etc. Support and motivate your child to discuss the topic with friends or in school classes.
“Just no smartphones at school! Otherwise, the kids will just look at their screens during recess instead of playing and talking with each other.” Although people talk about social media, there is a fear that children and young people, but also adults, talk less and less directly to each other because they are busy with their smartphones all the time.
For many, it’s already normal to glance at the smartphone from time to time when meeting up with friends. At the same time, you too may have admonished your child not to spend so much time on the cell phone or game console instead of playing outside with friends in the nice weather.
However, the problem is not the device itself, but our handling of it! It offers so many possibilities that we occasionally forget our immediate surroundings when we have the smartphone in our hands. At the same time, we use social media to share and stay in touch with people who are not facing us at the moment. So media don’t actually do antisocial at all. We should just show a better way to use them to children and young people.
It can be observed that in youth groups, everyone seems to be paddling around on their smartphones. But if you look closely, you can see that they do talk to each other. It’s just unusual for us adults. Perhaps we should accept that young people today treat each other differently. After all, there were no smartphones in our childhood! Communication via messenger such as WhatsApp is also very important for young people, because they need social exchange for their development.
Another aspect is the social interaction on the net. When you don’t face each other when you “speak”, some things get lost or you just deal with each other differently. Learn more about this in our articles on online hate speech and communication with emojis. Cyberbullying can also be an unpleasant consequence of interacting with each other via social media.
We should pay better attention to what is important to us in our contact with each other. Maybe the girlfriend doesn’t mind if I look at my smartphone in between conversations with her. If it does, it should be addressed and rules agreed upon. This also applies to media use in the family. One possibility is the joint creation of a media usage contract that not only contains rules on times, but also on social interaction with regard to media.
If you, as a parent, want your child to leave their cell phone in their pocket when talking to you and others, you should set a good example.
Social behavior within the media should not be fundamentally different from that outside. What is desired in personal interaction can also be transferred to the network. It’s great that you can stay in touch with people so easily through social media, but it also takes a bit of effort. There should also be rules in the WhatsApp group so that communication does not degenerate into stress.
When children and young people network online via messenger or social platforms, they can learn to exchange, express and present themselves there. Digital communication is also a form of interaction.
Since companies are behind the various social media platforms and they want to make money from our communications, it’s important not to lose sight of your own privacy when using these apps.
Parents and children communicate not only in person, but also via smartphone. Text and voice messages, photos and videos are sent daily. WhatsApp is the most popular way to do this. Since April 2016, the app uses the so-called end-to-end encryption. But what is it actually?
Let’s imagine the following situation: Mom and Ben both use WhatsApp. Mom writes a message to Ben: “Hi Ben, is school over already?”. When mom sends the message, the first thing she does is send it to WhatsApp’s servers. From there, the message is then forwarded to Ben. He can then read the message on his smartphone. Compared to letter mail, the exchange happens online in just a few seconds.
When a message is encrypted, the content can no longer be read. Only with the appropriate key can the message be restored. You can compare this to a letter that has a lock on it. Only the person with the right key can open the letter to read what it says. So when Mom sends an encrypted message to Ben, no one but him can read what it says. This is important because a lot can happen on the way from Mom’s smartphone to the WhatsApp servers and from there on to Ben’s smartphone. The message could be read along the way by hackers and surveillance services, for example. To prevent this and to preserve the secrecy of correspondence, messages should be encrypted. By the way, not only text messages can be encrypted, but also voice, calls, photos and videos.
With end-to-end encryption, Mom’s message is encrypted all the way to Ben’s smartphone. The content can only be read on Mom and Ben’s devices. Only they have the necessary key. The entire encryption process runs automatically. It is best to use applications that use end-to-end encryption. Especially when it comes to messenger apps for the smartphone, there is a wide choice. Among them are many good alternatives to WhatsApp that also encrypt end-to-end and also protect users’ data, e.g. Threema, Telegram or Hoccer. However, group messages are often not encrypted.
It generally makes sense to send information over the Internet in encrypted form. Especially when it comes to sensitive information such as names, addresses and bank data. When visiting websites, it is recommended that you always access them via “https://”. The “s” after the “http” stands for “secure”. It means that the information is exchanged in encrypted form. Not all websites offer this security. Payment data and other important information should only be entered on websites that can be accessed via “https”. With minimal effort, e-mails can also be provided with end-to-end encryption. For this, it is useful to look for instructions for the mail program you are using.
