Chatting with friends, being active on social media, expressing themselves creatively – the smartphone opens up a new world for children. Many parents ask themselves: “When is my child old enough to have their own smartphone?”. This question is not easy to answer. This is because the child’s stage of development plays a key role in the decision.
The change from elementary school to secondary school is a suitable time for many parents to purchase a smartphone. Many children have a long journey to school, which they often have to make alone. They can make contact quickly via a cell phone or smartphone. Constant availability should not be the main reason. For older children and teenagers in particular, the most important reason for having their own smartphone is to keep in touch with their friends. They want to be part of it and have a say when it comes to the latest apps and social media trends.
Are you wondering whether your child is ready for their own smartphone? Then you should think about these things:
klicksafe has compiled these and other questions in a checklist for parents to tick off. Go through the checklist alone or together with your child. The more points you tick, the more ready your child is for their own smartphone. However, you know them best and can assess their media experience and sense of responsibility. For younger children, a cell phone without Internet access may be suitable at first. Sooner or later, however, you should allow your child to have their own smartphone.
Access to the Internet holds a lot of potential for your child, but also risks:
You can find out how you can protect your child from sexual violence on the Internet in this klicksafe brochure.
Choose your first smartphone carefully and take costs and features into account. A used cell phone can be a good choice. Take your time to set up your smartphone. Pay attention to age ratings of apps and enable security settings on the device. Discuss together which apps your child can and cannot use for the time being. A prepaid contract and not a flat rate may be sufficient at the beginning. This will teach your child how much they actually use their cell phone and how to use mobile data and WLAN appropriately. Settings in the smartphone can also create awareness of screen time. You can find more tips on how to make your child’s cell phone use safer in our article on this topic.
Accompany your child as they take their first steps with their smartphone. Always inform your child about possible risks. Even before deciding to get your own smartphone, talk to your child about it. It can also be helpful to consult with other parents. Because most of the time, they face the same questions.
Establish common rules for media use that all family members adhere to. Keep an eye on your child’s usage times and signs of digital stress.
Find out about child-friendly offers and apps, such as the fragFINN app. You can find pedagogical assessments for mobile games at Spieleratgeber NRW.
Try to lead by example. Don’t abuse your child’s trust by secretly checking the cell phone – a frank conversation is the better way. If you are unsure or serious problems arise, contact educational professionals such as school social workers or contact (online)counseling centers.
Child-friendly information can help children get to grips with the topic. The “Genial digital” magazine from the Deutsches Kinderhilfswerk (DKHW) provides children aged 8 to 11 with information about the internet and their first smartphone in a fun way.
Many children get their own smartphone during their primary school years. With it, they can do different things and have access to the Internet. In addition to many great opportunities, however, it also exposes children to risks. It is particularly important that you talk to your child about possible dangers and make safety settings on the smartphone together.
Without your child realizing it, he or she is leaving data trails by using a messenger and other apps, as well as by surfing the web. Explain to your child the various smartphone functions and how to set them sensibly: WLAN, Bluetooth and location should remain switched off by default and only be activated when absolutely necessary. For example, GPS is necessary if your child is looking for directions to a specific location using a map app. Check the app permissions in the settings together with your child. For example, you can avoid apps accessing the camera without reason or sharing data with other devices and networks. Educate your child about online scams, such as spam emails or phishing. Additional security is provided by virus scanner apps that can protect against unwanted viruses and dangers such as data theft, subscription traps or fake offers.
It is important to use codes and passwords to ensure secure use of the device and apps. Your child’s cell phone should only be used after entering a code (PIN, swipe code, etc.) to prevent strangers from accessing personal data. Set up secure password protection with your child. This also applies to registration with social media services and apps. Secure passwords consist of at least twelve characters and contain special characters and numbers in addition to letters. Depending on the device, your child’s fingerprint can also be used to unlock the device (e.g. Touch ID on iOS). Tips for creating secure passwords are available – e.g. at Handysektor. For younger children, it is recommended that at least one parent also knows the screen lock combination and password.
Security and parental control settings can be made on every smartphone in the settings. Detailed information on this can be found, among other things, in the article on technical youth media protection.
On Android, you can block the installation of apps in the Play Store or set a password for installation or in-app purchases. To do this, activate the parental control settings. You can choose which apps your child can install without a password.
iOS devices offer even more options in their own device settings. Under Screen Time you have the option to set restrictions and assign a separate code for them. You can then, for example, allow or block the use of certain apps and restrict in-app purchases with a password. Movies, music, apps and TV shows with a higher age rating can also be blocked automatically. iOS can automatically filter and hide web content in Safari and apps.
Additional apps are also recommended:
To avoid cost traps, a tariff with a limited data volume can be useful. Make sure you also make certain settings for your child’s privacy and safety on social media apps and use Instagram safely, for example. Here you can specifically regulate the visibility of your child’s profile and the basic contact options. Some platforms offer a safer alternative mode for minors – e.g. the accompanied mode on TikTok.
We also recommend installing the fragFINN app. This children’s search engine offers a protected surfing area with tested websites. This way you can ensure that your child can only access age-appropriate and safe content, both for school research and for leisure activities.
For more information on safe smartphone settings, it’s worth visiting medien-kindersicher.de. Here you will find helpful, technical protection solutions for all your child’s devices, services and apps explained step by step.
Also remember to carry out regular software updates on your child’s smartphone to close security gaps and minimize the risk of viruses, for example
Smartphones come with some features to make chatting, surfing the web and using apps safer for your child. However, these settings on the device or parental control apps are no substitute for parental supervision. Your child should always understand why certain websites or apps should be blocked or why GPS tracking should remain deactivated. Also, always base your control and safety on your child’s age and development. Especially with teens, don’t intrude too much on your child’s privacy. However, always try to stay in conversation with your child and be there as a point of contact for questions or uncertainties.
Who am I, what makes me, where do I want to go? For children and young people, these are the central questions of their lives. Today, they are increasingly looking for orientation and identification figures online – also because it is often easier to find information, understanding and like-minded people on the net.
Many things happen in adolescence: the body changes, opinions and values are formed, friendships develop or end, one’s own sexuality is discovered. It is not easy to manage all this. It is particularly challenging for those whose identity does not conform to the social norms of their social environment. Especially queer young people often find it difficult to discover their own identity and to live it out openly. Because they still have to fear prejudice, rejection or conflict. The search for role models, like-minded people or simply an unprejudiced peer group leads many to the Internet. Because there is an LGBTQIA+ community here that is hard to find offline in many places.
LGBTQIA+ is an acronym that has its origins in the United States in the 1980s and has spread and evolved since then. The letters stand for: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual/Transgender, Queer, Intersexual and Asexual. So basically, all expressions of gender and sexuality that are non-binary (two genders) and heterosexual are subsumed here. The plus at the end of the abbreviation means: The list is neither conclusive nor exclusive. Any sexuality is fine and welcome, no one is excluded. The acronym was formed to have an appreciative term for people of all sexual and gender expressions to protect them from discrimination. The visual sign of the community is the rainbow flag.
Young people who belong to the LGBTQIA+ community or are not yet sure of their identity often search for information or contacts online. Many are still afraid of coming out to their family or peer group. On the Internet, on the other hand, it can provide protected and anonymous spaces. Here, young people can inform themselves and learn in the first place what gender identities and sexual orientations there are. Young people find role models in social networks, forums or on corresponding sites. They can exchange ideas with others and also try out their own orientation. Many points of contact that can help with questions or problems are represented online. But also films, magazines or simply associations of the LGBTQIA+ community can help young people in their search for their own identity.
But not everything is problem-free online either. Here, too, there is hatred and bullying, and young people can end up with dubious information providers or dubious contacts. It is therefore important that children and young people learn early on how to protect themselves online: Private data should only be disclosed if the other party is definitely trustworthy. Children must learn to distinguish serious from unserious sites. And when hate or bullying occurs, children and young people should know how to fight back.
The most important thing for you as a parent is to lovingly and openly accompany your child as he or she grows up. After all, if children are able to deal openly with their questions and issues offline and have confidants to accompany them on their journey, the Internet can be a valuable supplement rather than a (clandestine) escape.
More information as well as good tips for safe surfing can be found on the following pages:
“Mom, can I watch video?”, “I want to play tablet, Dad!” – media fascinate young children and are part of their everyday life from an early age. In the first years of life, parents lay the foundation for dealing with media. Media education is based on the general values in the family.
Babies and toddlers are not yet very interested in media. They seek contact with their parents and explore the world with all their senses. Developmental steps such as learning to eat, walk and talk are the focus. As parents frequently turn to media, such as the smartphone, young children gradually become interested in them as well.
Targeted media use, such as looking at a picture book or video calling grandma and grandpa, usually takes place with young children in the company of adults. More and more, children are demanding this kind of media time together.
In addition to looking at picture books together, toddlers enjoy music and audio stories; they can play or relax along the way. Offerings such as children’s radio programs and audio boxes are suitable for children and a good introduction to the diversity of the media world.
The child’s brain cannot yet process moving images and hectic sounds well. Children are not able to understand filmed stories until they are about three years old. Nevertheless, your child may already be watching series on the tablet or similar together with older children. Pay attention to what your child is looking at. It is best if you are present, can answer questions that arise, or overhear when your child becomes anxious. Children of kindergarten age enthusiastically watch shows with their favorite characters such as Peppa Wutz, Bobo the Dormouse or Fireman Sam. With child-friendly apps and games, children can get active themselves. Such apps are manageable, encourage creativity and can help with learning.
Whether it’s audio, video, or games, choose short, simple, and age-appropriate content. Young children should use media alone as little as possible, because they are not babysitters. If you and your child already know certain content, he or she can listen to an audio story on their own and watch an episode of their favorite show without you sitting next to them.
“Can I use your cell phone?” – Children learn by observing and imitating what their caregivers do. You are also the most important role model for your child when it comes to media use. Put the smartphone aside when playing with your child. Enjoy time with your child and take time outs from the screen. Model a conscious and reflective approach to media. Even children already have personal rights. Ask your child if he or she is okay with sending photos of him or her via Messenger and, if possible, do not post children’s photos online.
“That was too scary for me!” – Children often still have difficulty distinguishing between fiction and reality and cannot yet reliably assess dangers. Some media content is unsuitable for children.
“Just one more episode!” – Children in the first years of life cannot yet control their media use themselves; they need limits.
Based on a long-term study by the JFF – Institute for Media Education on the importance of digital media in families with young children, there is now a flyer on the topic of media education in the first years of life.
They are called Lady Bug, Fireman Sam, Elsa or Peppa Wutz – popular media heroes among young children. They appear not only on screens and in books, but also on backpacks, water bottles, clothing and other objects. But as much as they sometimes annoy adults, these figures have important functions for children.
Do you remember Pippi Longstocking, Pumuckl or Peter Lustig? Surely you have mostly positive memories of these characters. Even if the media heroes of children today are different, they fulfill the same functions as the characters of your childhood. They offer children orientation in a complex world and they can learn from them. Children identify with individual characters. They also provide a sense of belonging among peers. With friends, they can share stories about the latest episode of Paw Patrol and role-play scenes. When children are sad or worried, the main character can encourage them or an episode of their favorite show can relax them.
Typically, children’s media heroes and heroines have similarities to them. Her stories tie in with children’s lives. Often these are “good” main characters with characteristics that children can easily recognize. The figures do not have to please adults. This is especially the case when they are portrayed in a clichéd way, such as beautiful princesses and strong knights.
As children develop, their favorite media characters change. Children understand more and their interests change.
It’s not always easy for adults to understand what kids love about a particular character. However, banning them or keeping a child away from them is not the way to go. Children encounter some characters through play and interaction with their peers. Therefore, talk to your child about what he likes about a figure. Be unbiased and ask neutral questions. If your child is a little older, you can also tell and explain if they don’t like something about a character.
Parents, siblings, relatives, friends, educators: In everyday life, children and young people have to deal with many different people. But who among all these people is (co-)responsible for media education? Just you as parents? All educators? Or even the media themselves?
The first goal of media education is to help people deal with media in such a way that it does not harm them and that they have as positive an experience with media as possible. For the time being, this does not distinguish media education from other forms of media literacy promotion. The difference between this and media education for children, e.g. at school, is that media education is not always aimed at learning and also happens unconsciously. A good example of this is the role model function of parents. How much time you spend on the smartphone yourself or what you watch on TV together with your child all have an impact on your child’s media education. But much of it you decide unconsciously or spontaneously. In addition to these often rather unplanned forms of media education, there are also targeted and concrete measures, such as agreeing on common rules.
The older children get, the more different people have to deal with their upbringing. Parents and other family members are first in line of responsibility. However, media education is far too big a task and challenge to leave it to you as parents alone. In addition to various support and help offerings on the Internet and on site specifically for parents, such as parents’ evenings, there are various ways to approach media education together.
Media education also takes place in kindergartens and schools. Parents can get involved there in the parents’ council and, for example, contribute something to a media concept or a media development plan.
The media themselves and people and figures who make media and are seen in media can also be seen as actors in media education. Media providers should, for example, design their offerings in such a way that it is apparent for what age they are suitable. Youth protection institutions, such as the USK, are also responsible for supporting media education. People who can be seen in the media, such as influencers, also bear responsibility. They are a role model for many children and young people and can contribute to a healthy approach to media, but they don’t have to.
You are not alone in media education. Many parents have similar problems and it is worth talking to each other and pointing each other to support services. In your family, they should agree on rules together that then apply to everyone. Good media education can also be helped by making it clear that what you do with media, perhaps unconsciously, has an influence on your children’s media use: for example, what media are available at home or how much time you spend with media yourself. However, you obviously can’t work with all the players who have an influence on your child’s media education. See that you co-create media education with those where it is possible, such as other parents or in the KiTa or school, and which offer the support you need.
You are reading a story to your child and suddenly the phone beeps to announce a new WhatsApp message. What do you do? Do you automatically reach for your smartphone or do you read the message later when the child is asleep?
Such situations probably exist in every family. When the little son then reaches for the smartphone, it is said: “That’s not for you yet!”.
Be aware that parents and also other adults have an important role model function for children. Children experience how you, as their closest caregivers, deal with digital media and orient themselves to this. This is how children learn how the world works and how to behave in certain situations. Your behavior therefore has a major impact on how your child uses media themselves. By actively setting an example of what good media use can look like, you help your child learn to use smartphones and the like independently, sensibly and consciously.
Especially for younger children, parents are number one. It is especially important for babies and toddlers to recognize your attention through direct eye contact and to build a good bond. When dad is constantly looking at his smartphone, it’s not possible. Children, even at a young age, notice this. The older children get, the more they emulate you. In toddlerhood, they reach for daddy’s smartphone or speak into a brick that has a similar shape. They realize early on how important this device is for adults or older siblings.
Create a good basis for a reflective approach to media right from the start. Keep the smartphone on silent in your pocket when you play with your child, so that they don’t get the impression that the smartphone is always more important. Later, your child may behave the same way. If it does get pulled out, explain to your child why.
There are certainly moments when the smartphone is needed to take a nice photo of your offspring. Capture beautiful moments with the camera! But think about how often that has to be. After all, your child would rather look you in the eye than constantly at the smartphone in front of your face.
Spending time together with media is also part of family life. Introduce your child to it slowly and choose age-appropriate content. However, such media experiences should always alternate with media-free times.
Through it all, be aware of your role as a role model!
When we see young people on their smartphones, we quickly get the thought: They stare too much at their displays and don’t really talk to each other anymore!
But maybe you’ve caught yourself pulling your phone out of your pocket way too often and letting it distract you.
If it’s already so difficult for us adults to keep track of our media time, how will our children manage? You can support your child with our tips while also keeping an eye on your own media time. It’s not about banning media. After all, they make many things in our everyday lives easier and fun to use. But too much screen time can also be harmful, for example because you don’t get enough exercise. Read our article “How much media time is good for my child?”.
Agree together on rules about media times. One good thing, for example, is that no smartphones are allowed at meals together. Of course, this does not only apply to the children! Since they always look to adult role models, you should set a good example. In some families, there is a shelf where each family member has a compartment for their own smartphone. It can be placed there during mealtime.
Together with your child, think about which media are used in which situations and why. Is this always useful or could you do something else that is better for you instead? Create a weekly schedule for you and your child to record media times. Does this seem like too much compared to other activities? Then you can consider alternatives together.
Depending on their age, you should agree with your child how much time a day or a week they can spend with media. In doing so, distinguish what media is used for. If your child understands the rules, it will be easier for him to keep such times.
If your child is younger, you can use marbles to help per agreed media time. For example, a ten-year-old boy has seven hours of media time per week and receives a marble for every 30 minutes. When the time is used up, a corresponding number of marbles are put away. An hourglass that ticks down during media time can also be an orientation.
There are apps that allow you to measure and regulate your screen time. For example, they are called StayFocused (for Android, free of charge) or AppBlock (free of charge for Android; from August 2021 also for iOS), Forest (free for Android, with ads and in-app purchases, for iOS €2.29 with in-app purchases) or Space (basic version free for Android and iOS). They record the use of the smartphone. You can use them to disable certain apps or “paralyze” the whole smartphone for a certain time. Apps like Forest and Space are more playful in that a tree grows or a galaxy builds up by not using the phone.
Many of these apps are funded by advertising, which can be annoying. Also, some apps require you to enter a lot of data to track smartphone behavior. It is not clear for all of them whether the data is also used for other purposes.
Many devices also allow you to control your own screen time or “digital well-being” via the“Settings”. You can see how long and what you spent your time on the smartphone. Timeouts can be scheduled or time limits can be set for certain apps. If you do not keep to this or if the time limit is reached, the corresponding note appears on the screen and the question whether you would like to add another 15 minutes, for example, or exceptionally select “No limit today”.
Even if these digital helpers can be easily deactivated, you can see how much time you spend with your smartphone and certain apps. This can help to rethink and change one’s own behavior with the smartphone. Perhaps you will turn it into a challenge together with your child!?
You are sitting with your children having dinner together and talking, when suddenly your cell phone rings. How do you behave? Do you let family time get in the way?
Such situations probably exist in every family. Actually, it was agreed that the smartphone has no place during the meal. But if it rings mom’s bell, she may think it’s important and answer it anyway. But the rules should apply to everyone, right?
Be aware that parents and other adults have an important guidance function for children. Children learn from you how the world works and how to behave in certain situations. Your behavior therefore has a major impact on how your child uses media themselves. By setting an example of what a conscious approach to media can look like, you support your child in learning to use the smartphone and other media independently, sensibly and responsibly.
As young people get older, they also orient themselves more and more to their peers in their media use, and your influence as parents diminishes.
Perhaps your family also sometimes gets into arguments about media use, for example, when your child reaches for the smartphone out of boredom. They would find it better if it read a book or played with friends instead. Just think about what you do yourself in your free time. Do you watch series in the media library or sometimes just play games on your cell phone? It’s not just about what media you use, but how often, in what situations, and what content.
You might consider what that looks like for each family member. How much time does each person spend with media and with other things? Is the ratio is okay for you. Agree with your family on rules about media time and cell phone-free times. For this purpose, you can, for example, jointly create a media usage agreement. Or use an app that lets you keep track of time on your screen. Often there is also the option to track screen time or set up limits in the mobile settings.
It is advisable to consciously incorporate screen-free times and activities into everyday family life in order to be able to process the media content and to allow the body to exercise.
Always keep in touch with each other – even when it comes to media. By taking an interest in your child’s media consumption, you build trust. Then your child will also take you seriously when you express concerns about certain apps or platforms, or come to you when they encounter unpleasant things about their media use. Younger children in particular should not be left alone with media. Talk about what they saw.
Also, reflect on your own behavior on social media and hold yourself to the advice you give your child – such as not posting photos without the consent of the people in them.
Everyday life is often stressful and it is sometimes difficult to keep agreements. One is exposed to the pressure to be constantly available. Talk about this with your child as well. Be honest with yourself and show understanding for your child. It can also be helpful to look together at which agreements are going well and which are going less well!
Perfect skin, shiny hair, model figure – this is a familiar image for many teenagers from the dazzling Instagram world. Young girls in particular take the lifestyle or appearance exemplified there as a model and perceive it as the ideal. In this article, you will learn what this means for their self-perception and how you can support your child in feeling comfortable in their own body.
Many of the photos or videos posted on Instagram do not correspond to reality. Whether it’s a classmate or a beauty blogger, everyone wants to present their followers with the most enviable photos possible. To do this, use the filters provided by Instagram, with which the skin looks smoother, the sun brighter and hair shinier. With special apps, even the nose can be made smaller or the waist narrower.
Influencers in particular present themselves and their lives on social networks as almost flawless and perfect. Their followers perceive this portrayal as authentic and emulate them. This can be expressed by a desire for the latest sneakers or by dissatisfaction with one’s own body. Because the Instagram world has little to do with reality, as “normal” bodies are hardly present and therefore not desirable for young people. Teenagers are subjected to pressure to come close to this skewed reality.
To be part of the community, there is also pressure to post your own photos on Instagram. In the process, even taking pictures or filming is sometimes seen as frustrating because it takes a long time and the finished media products do not always meet expectations. For many young people, the number of likes and comments is then also seen as confirmation of their person. Self-doubt increases when the posted photo or video receives few or no likes.
Various studies have shown that young people who use Instagram are particularly likely to feel uncomfortable in their bodies. Snapchat is also criticized for this. Young people are not only confronted with perfect images of others in social networks, but also through TV formats such as “Germany’s Next Topmodel” or through advertising. However, young people feel a particularly strong personal connection to their role models in social networks.
The distorted body images in social networks are much criticized. There are strong efforts to present bodies in all their forms in the media, e.g. by people showing themselves on Instagram and Co. under hashtags like #formorerealityoninstagram or #teambodylove without makeup and naturally. The images are not edited. In this way, an attempt is made to convey a realistic body image, especially to young people, and to encourage them to accept their own bodies.
In addition, there are demands to mark edited images as such in the future in order to make it clear that they do not correspond to reality.
Stay in conversation with your child about his or her role models. Look at pictures together on Instagram and ask what exactly it is that it likes about the pictures. Make your daughter or son aware of edited images and question how realistic they can be. It also helps to remember that very few people have the look of influencers and models, and that even they have to use photo editing.
Perhaps show channels that specifically try to upload realistic photos. Work together to find channels or hashtags that are less stereotypical and more reflective of the diversity of society. This gives your child different incentives for their own personality development.
Use a photo editing app together for fun and change a photo of yourself or your child using filters. This way, your child also realizes how easy it is to change or even manipulate an image. Completely independent of media, you can support your child daily in accepting and loving their own body and thus strengthen their self-esteem.
With media, children can learn, be creative, relax and have fun. As parents, you are responsible for ensuring that media consumption does not get out of hand. Common rules for media use in the family are helpful.
It is difficult to make a concrete recommendation as to how much time a child of a certain age may spend with media. First, because every child is different and can handle media differently. Second, because media are used for very different purposes – for learning, for spending time together with family, for distraction, etc.
Still, it can help to determine how much time your child is allowed to spend with certain media per day or week. In doing so, you should consider together beforehand which media use falls under this. Is it all about screen media and media use solely for entertainment and relaxation? Are there dedicated time budgets for learning with media?
For children of elementary school age, clear rules are very important because they still need a lot of guidance. They create stability in everyday life and prevent uncontrolled media use. For children in the early elementary years, a set amount of time in the day works better, such as an hour of media time. From the age of about 10, children are already quite independent and can allocate weekly quotas themselves.
For younger children, a fixed time for media use can be set – for example, after homework and before dinner. This structures everyday life.
Settings in apps or devices can help children not to exceed the agreed time. However, your child should gradually learn to put the smartphone or tablet aside by itself after the screen time is over. In this way, they practice and internalize a conscious approach to media.
Children are still developing. That’s why you should make sure they only use age-appropriate media. The desire to watch movies or play games that are only appropriate for teens 12 or 16 and older often leads to conflict within the family. Especially when your child begins to consume media increasingly independently, you should therefore discuss this necessary rule together.
Another important rule, at least until the age of 13, should be that new apps can only be downloaded and tried with your consent and together with you. Give your child more responsibility as he or she gets older and give him or her freedom to use media independently. From adolescence onwards, fixed screen times can be slowly eliminated. Nevertheless, there should be rules about which apps are used and how one’s own data should be handled, for example, when registering with social networks.
Accompaniment by parents is still important in adolescence. Talk to your child about his or her media use. Ask how and why it uses what and how it gets along. Also, always be responsive when problems arise!
Agree on rules only together with your child so that he or she can understand them. Also consider what happens in the event of a rule violation. You can put all of these things in a media use agreement. Be careful not to use media bans as leverage.
As a parent, you are an important guide for your child. Therefore, you should consciously act as a role model – also with regard to your use of the media. Certain rules should apply to everyone. For example, you can agree that smartphones have no place at mealtimes or set up smartphone-free family days. Your child will be increasingly influenced by friends as they reach school age. Therefore, it can help to communicate with other parents what rules apply with them. Perhaps there can be rules that are the same for everyone.
New parents are especially proud of their own baby and would like to share their happiness with the whole world. But don’t lose sight of your child’s privacy rights . Answering the following questions will help you decide how to handle photos of your child.
Your child will only learn over time what photos are and what it means when images are shared online. Therefore, for the time being, you have to make the decision on how it should look like in photos and who is allowed to see certain images. Therefore, before you share a photo of your child that you find funny, for example, you should consider whether you would have liked it if your parents had shared such a picture of you.
Children should always be seen clothed in photos and not in a ridiculous or even embarrassing situation. If other children are visible in the photo, you must obtain the consent of their parents or legal guardians.
Photos of children can also be beautiful without showing them very clearly, e.g. by photographing them from behind or only showing a detail. For more tips on how to take and share beautiful children’s photos in a creative way without violating their privacy rights, see our post Creative Children’s Photos.
Also, think about the channels through which photos are distributed. When you post a picture on WhatsApp it can be forwarded easily and unnoticed, and may even end up in someone else’s hands. Then you don’t know what happens to it.
To avoid this, there are often various setting options in apps or on platforms that restrict visibility or the circle of recipients. Also regularly check your own privacy and security settings! Be sure to avoid posting a photo of your child in combination with exact details such as name or location.
The fact that you want to capture beautiful moments with your child and share them with others is quite normal and brings joy. But not every photo has to be shared or published on the Internet. It can be just as nice to show the pictures at the family gathering and enjoy them together. Discuss with family and friends how you would like photos of your child to be handled. (You can find suggestions for this at the German Children’s Fund, for example.) Because once photos have been sent via WhatsApp or other messengers, they can be forwarded easily and unnoticed. Tip: With messenger apps like Signal or Telegram photos are not automatically saved in the recipient’s photo gallery!
Discuss this with your partner or the other parent. But children also have a right to co-determination, privacy and to decide what happens to pictures of them. That’s why you should involve your child as early as possible. If it is still very young, you can ask if it likes itself in the photo before forwarding it. From kindergarten age, you should ask more precisely, e.g. whether grandma and grandpa are also allowed to see and have a picture. Respect your child’s decision, even if it is not your opinion.
Whether in books, films or television – children learn role models through the media. This means that through books, series, audio stories, etc., they get an early idea of what girls or boys and families are supposed to be typically like. Often, classic images of strong heroes and princesses are used. Children orient themselves to these role models in order to develop their own personality.
Children identify with characters they like. Around the end of primary school age, gender becomes increasingly important for children’s identity. But as soon as you enter a bookstore, separate book tables convey that boys and girls are fundamentally different.
In German children’s television, there are many more male characters than female ones. Especially animal figures or fantasy creatures are less often female. It is particularly striking that female figures often show unattainable ideals of beauty. The body proportions of Barbie and co. have little to do with human girl or woman bodies. This unrealistic image of female roles conveyed at an early age can lead to great insecurities with one’s own body, especially among girls. Child rearing and household chores are also mostly assigned to women’s roles on television. Male figures are more likely to be seen working outside the family.
In many picture books, a family consists of a woman, a man and a child. In general, fathers often appear in them only as minor characters or not at all. Yet the classic mother-father-child model, in which the mother takes care of the children and the father goes to work, is only one family type among many today. Many children have several caregivers who look after them. This includes, for example, the new partners of the (separated) parents. Same-sex couples with children are also often not depicted in children’s media. And where do the adults who are not in a partnership but still like to take care of their friends’ or family members’ children actually come in?
Professions are an exciting topic for children. Because they help them imagine and shape their future. In doing so, girls and boys take their cue from the professions that men and women have in the stories that their parents read to them or that they see on television. Traditional gender roles in occupations are also portrayed in children’s media. Work involving children and care is more often assigned to women’s roles. They are shown as nurses, teachers or educators, while men are the strong firefighters or have prestigious professions, such as pilots or doctors. Yet the career field for men and women is much more colorful today: Dad can also look after the kids for a while as a househusband, while mom works as a scientist. Due to technical progress, there are many more professions than you see in children’s books or series. Children’s media should also explain what mom and dad actually do all day in the office or at the computer in the home office.
Girls and boys need different role models. A diverse range of children’s media offers children various models for orientation. The little girl in pink does not have to be wrong, but just not always and everywhere the same. Stories that break down typical role models help your child accept themselves for who they are and be tolerant and respectful of others. Classify any questionable gender portrayals by addressing and challenging them.
We have compiled some media tips for you that depict diversity of media characters and no gender stereotypes:
If you want to know more about gender in children’s media, we recommend this parent brochure on dealing with gender roles.
“Alexa, turn on the lights!” Digital voice assistants help many families organize their everyday lives. They have names like Alexa, Echo, Siri or Cortana and are used via so-called smart speakers or smartphones.
In order to adapt the use of the voice assistants to one’s own needs, so-called “skills” can be activated. Skills, like apps on smartphones, are small third-party utilities. Depending on the device, they are also called “actions” (Google) or “additional commands” (Apple). Skills are also used via voice commands.
They give the voice assistants additional functions and can therefore be used individually. Smart home skills ensure, for example, that lamps, thermostats or the TV can be controlled with the help of the voice assistant. Services can be used with service skills. For example, you can look for a suitable train connection, order a pizza from a delivery service or listen to the daily news. Such a voice command reads, for example: “Alexa, ask Deutsche Bahn for a connection from Berlin to Munich tomorrow at 12 o’clock”.
The selection of skills is large. Skills are practical supporters for everyday life, and not just for adults. There is also a wide range of offers for adolescents. For example, children can learn about the countries of the world through play via learning skills or listen to interactive audio stories of their favorite characters. Many companies, but also public broadcasters, make their offerings available in the form of skills, such as the children’s news from KiRaKa or Mikado. The variety of child-friendly skills also opens up many application possibilities for families. Timetable Skills inform parents and children quickly and easily. The teeth brushing skill makes the daily routine easier. Joint games about skills with digital dice cups or imaginary memory cards can also enrich everyday family life. In memory, for example, a pair always consists of two identical sounds and is numbered so that an assignment can be made orally.
When using voice assistants and skills, you should be aware that they are always listening when switched on. Thus, a great deal of personal data and information is collected. How these are stored and processed depends on the respective provider and is not always communicated transparently. With some providers, the voice recording histories can be deleted. Read more in our article Smarter family life with Alexa & Co.?.
The data processing of the individual skills should also be checked with the respective external provider before installation. By using the skills, you agree to the transmission of usage data to the third-party provider. Therefore, when choosing should be well informed.
Skills are for the most part available free of charge. In the meantime, however, there are isolated so-called in-skill purchases. These are, similar to apps, advanced features that are chargeable. When looking for skills for kids, keep this in mind.
As helpful as the digital assistants are, you should still inform yourself carefully before activating them. There is a wide range of extensions. Some skills seem okay at first glance, but they can be used to access content that is not suitable for adolescents. For this reason, it is also advisable to secure adult content and orders with a code. Furthermore, voice assistants should be turned off overnight, at least when you or your family is not at home. Educate your child about how voice assistants and skills work and the disadvantages they bring.
If you think the names Lisa and Lena are your child’s classmates, listen again. Because it may well be that we are actually talking about Germany’s best-known female influencers. The two sisters Lisa and Lena became famous for their videos on the app TikTok — formerly musical.ly — famous. Millions of young people follow them on social networks. But what exactly do teenagers in particular find so great about the twins?
In 2016, the then 15-year-old twins from near Stuttgart became famous virtually overnight thanks to their music videos on musical.ly. In 2019, Lisa and Lena left TikTok and decided to be active only on other social media channels. They justified this move by saying that they wanted to break new ground and had slowly outgrown TikTok. Security concerns and the criticism surrounding TikTok also apparently played a role. However, they have been back on TikTok since May 2020.
On platforms like Instagram and YouTube the twins present themselves in pictures in the perfect light and give insights into their everyday lives in stories. Her fans also call her Leli for short. They now have their own fashion brand and an online store for Leli fan merchandise, which they promote on their Instagram profile.
Lisa and Lena can hardly explain themselves how they became so famous so quickly. Within a very short time, they have attracted a lot of sympathy and attention on the Internet with their 15-second dance videos. Female teenagers in particular see them as role models because they are of a similar age. Some also strive to get validation through likes and followers. Also, the videos are entertaining. They combine music and movement. Expressing themselves in this way and having their own taste is attractive to young people. Lisa and Lena offer orientation and entertainment for adolescents with their videos. In the process, the twins appear authentic to them. Moreover, they have been with us for many years and provide reliable and familiar companions – if not something like friends.
You may feel like you can’t keep up with what your child is saying about the new hot influencer on YouTube or Instagram. You don’t have to understand everything either. Don’t look the other way, though; talk to your child about his or her role models. This is the only way you can stay up to date and be the contact person for your son or daughter if, for example, he or she has unpleasant experiences online. Also talk about the extent to which what is posted on social media is actually authentic. Since influencing is a business model, many are concerned with reaching as many people as possible and making money from it. Advertising and staged content are not uncommon.
If your child has or wants to start a social media channel themselves through role models like Lisa and Lena, you should also talk to them about what they post.
