Many teenagers want to explore their sexuality during puberty and find out how they come across to others. Today, this often happens through messaging apps or direct messages on social media. It’s not always easy for parents to understand this topic. We’ll explain what sexting means, what risks are involved, and how you can support your child.
Sexting refers to the voluntary sending or exchanging of erotic or intimate messages, revealing photos, or videos via digital media. Such messages often arise during flirting or within a relationship. Sexting is not a phenomenon that affects only teenagers. In fact, adults use this form of communication much more frequently.
Sexting isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be an expression of trust or part of getting to know someone. The key is that everyone involved must be acting of their own free will. No one should be pressured into sending intimate photos or videos. Anyone who sends an intimate image never knows what will happen to it later. It can be shared or published without the consent of the person depicted. This violates their privacy. Legal consequences are also possible. Once an image is in circulation, it usually cannot be completely deleted.
In addition to personal risks, there are also legal restrictions. Children under the age of 14 should not take or send sexualized nude photos of themselves. Such images are legally considered depictions of child sexual abuse and are subject to specific criminal laws. Receiving, possessing, or sharing such images can be a criminal offense for adolescents aged 14 and older and for adults. This means, for example, that a 14-year-old may not receive, save, or forward such images of a 13-year-old. Older adolescents should therefore never request, receive, or forward such images.
Some perpetrators trick victims into sending intimate photos and later use them for blackmail. This practice is called sextortion. They threaten to publish or forward the photos. Even seemingly harmless photos can be manipulated today using artificial intelligence. That’s why it’s worth thinking carefully about which images of yourself you share before sending them.
It is not sexting itself that is the problem, but rather the misuse of the images. If intimate photos are shared or published without consent, the victims are not to blame. This can be very distressing for those affected and can trigger feelings of shame or fear of how others will react.
Talk to your child early on about sexting, boundaries, and the fact that both parties must consent. Explain to your child that no one has the right to demand intimate photos or exert pressure, for example with phrases like: “If you really like me, send me a picture” or “Otherwise I’ll break up with you.” Make it clear to your child that they can end the interaction at any time. Your child can always turn to you, another trusted person, or a counseling center and does not have to deal with such situations alone. Also explain to them that they are in control of their own body. They don’t have to send intimate photos and can say no if they don’t feel comfortable with something.
Also discuss why intimate photos of other people should not be shared. This violates the person’s privacy and can have legal consequences.
If your child is being blackmailed or sexually harassed with the threat of publishing intimate images, stay calm and listen. Do not blame them. Save any text messages containing threats or attempts to exert pressure. However, do not take screenshots or make copies of the intimate images. Especially in the case of sexualized images of minors, saving or copying them can have legal consequences for you. Report the content to the respective platform and file a police report if necessary. Make sure your child understands that the responsibility always lies with the people who abuse trust or distribute the images.
Visit www.safer-sexting.de for more information on the legal situation and support for those affected. JUUUPORT also provides information about sexting and the misuse of intimate images and offers confidential counseling to young people.
“Just one more round!”—many parents are familiar with this phrase. Whether it’s Minecraft, Mario Kart, or Fortnite, video games are part of everyday life for many children and teens. For parents, the question often remains: how do they strike the right balance?
There is no set amount of screen time that works for all children. Children develop at different rates. Therefore, the question of what role video games play in your child’s daily life is much more meaningful than the amount of time spent playing them.
Instead of counting minutes, take a look at your child’s daily routine. Is your child doing well in school? Do they have time for friends, physical activity, and other hobbies? Are they getting enough sleep? And are they usually able to stop playing without a big argument? If all of these factors balance out well, video games are usually a perfectly normal part of family life. That said, not every day has to be the same. On a rainy day during vacation, your child will likely play longer than on a school day. So it’s better to look at daily life as a whole rather than at individual exceptions.
Games are usually designed to encourage players to keep playing. New challenges, rewards, or group play sessions make it easy for children to lose track of time. If your child is reluctant to stop, it’s often not due to a lack of discipline, but rather the way the game is structured. Furthermore, some games can’t simply be paused. If your child is playing online with others, they don’t want to let the team down. Agreeing on a plan in advance usually works better than a sudden “That’s it now.” If your child knows beforehand that they’ll stop after this round or this level, it’s often easier for them to stop.
Agreements usually work better when children are allowed to help shape them. Talk about when they can play and which times in your family are intentionally screen-free, such as during meals or before bedtime. As children get older, they can take on more responsibility. Therefore, adjust your agreements regularly. Time limits or break reminders on consoles, tablets, or smartphones can help with this. However, they are no substitute for talking things through together. Video games should have their place alongside school, sleep, exercise, friendships, and family time—not take their place.
Sometimes video games take up too much of a child’s time. You should be on the lookout if your child shows little interest in other activities, repeatedly breaks agreements, or if there are frequent arguments about gaming. Even if sleep, school, or your child’s mood are suffering, it’s worth taking a closer look.
Ask your child to show you their favorite games and tell you what makes them fun and who they play with. Observe any changes over a longer period of time and talk about them together. When you show an interest in your child’s gaming world, it’s often easier to start a conversation—even about difficult situations. There’s no such thing as the “perfect” screen time. The goal is for your child to gradually learn how to use digital media responsibly.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently via Messaging service via WhatsApp or Threema.
“But she’s allowed to do that, too!” Many parents are familiar with this situation: The older child is watching a TV show, playing a new video game, or using social media —and the younger one wants to join in. This isn’t always easy for parents, because they want to protect their child while also taking their frustration seriously.
Older siblings are important role models. Younger children, in particular, often want to do exactly what their older siblings do. However, they are not yet able to fully understand age restrictions or developmental differences. It can quickly seem unfair when an older sibling is allowed to do something that they themselves aren’t yet permitted to do. This feeling is completely normal and not a sign that you, as parents, are doing anything wrong. You take your child’s safety seriously. Children compare themselves to one another and gradually learn that different rules can make sense.
Many children are exposed to inappropriate content not because they seek it out themselves. This often happens on the couch, in the car, or in a waiting room. Older siblings or friends sometimes show them videos that aren’t age-appropriate yet. Even the best parental controls are of little help if children are simply watching or listening along. That’s why it’s important to keep an eye not only on devices but also on typical everyday situations where media is shared.
Rules are more easily accepted when children understand the reasons behind them. Explain in simple terms why certain movies, games, or apps aren’t appropriate for them yet. Phrases like “When your sister was your age, she wasn’t allowed to do that either” or“You’re getting older and will gradually have more freedom”often help more than a simple “No.” Children often understand rules better when it’s clear that they’re appropriate for their age and level of experience. They should be introduced to media, but in a way that they can easily process.
Older siblings can be important allies. They shouldn’t take on the role of a supervisor, but they can learn to be considerate. Talk to them about why certain things aren’t yet appropriate for younger children. Often, simple agreements—such as using headphones or watching certain content only when the younger children aren’t in the room—are enough. However, the responsibility for keeping them safe still lies with the adults.
It’s impossible to prevent this entirely. If it happens, try to stay as calm as possible and ask your child what they saw and how it made them feel. A single incident like this is usually no cause for concern. However, if your child keeps talking about a particular scene, asks a lot of questions, has trouble sleeping, or seems unsettled, further conversations can help them make sense of what they’ve experienced. Above all, it’s important that your child knows they can come to you at any time to talk about anything that’s on their mind.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently via Messaging service via WhatsApp or Threema.
Not every child needs a smartphone with internet and apps right away. For younger children, a push-button cell phone can be a good first step: children can make calls and write messages without having to be online all the time. Many families experience this as a relaxed introduction because children learn to take responsibility for their own device, for example charging the battery, being reachable, looking after the device and adhering to rules.
Some families use a shared family device or an older smartphone belonging to the parents as a test phase, which is only used at certain times. Many children are already familiar with digital media via tablets or family devices. Their first smartphone is therefore usually not their first contact with media, but the next step towards greater independence.
You can find out more about how to assess your child’s maturity in our parent check-in “My child is getting their first smartphone – what should I look out for?“.
If you want a smartphone, it doesn’t have to be the latest or most expensive model. A solid, used or refurbished smartphone that is regularly updated is a good place to start. For many children, the smartphone is a status symbol, but parents do not have to fulfill the desire for a specific brand model.
Also helpful are:
A device that uses the same operating system as the parents’ smartphone is often practical. This makes it easier to set up security settings, screen time or family functions together and to help quickly in the event of problems. Some families also agree that older children will contribute to purchases or repairs. This makes many children more aware of how they use the device.
A prepaid card can be useful for the first smartphone. This means there are no additional costs and children learn how to use a fixed amount of credit. However, if the credit is empty, your child may not be able to contact you.
With a contract, there are usually fixed monthly costs, often with a telephony flat rate and a lot of mobile Internet. However, in-app purchases or additional data volume can result in additional costs. Younger children in particular can quickly lose track. Contracts are therefore more suitable for young people with some smartphone experience. Settings such as cost limits, third-party provider blocks or a limited data volume help to avoid unexpected bills.
Not only the device is important, but also the secure setup. Sensible basic settings are, for example:
For the first smartphone, blocked contacts or children’s versions of apps can also be useful. Regular updates keep the smartphone safer.
Technical protection functions support but do not replace supervision. Therefore, keep talking to your child about apps, chats and content. Also talk about what your child can do if something seems strange or unpleasant online. A jointly agreed media usage contract can help to make rules on usage times, mobile-free times and behavior in chats transparent for all family members.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently via Messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema.
Class chats are conducted via WhatsApp, reels are shared on Instagram and people organize themselves in sports clubs via Facebook groups. Many children and young people use several Meta services every day, often without realizing that they all belong to the same company. It is helpful for parents to understand how these services are connected.
Meta Platforms was originally called Facebook Inc. and was founded in 2004. The company changed its name to Meta in 2021. The company wanted to show that it has long been offering more than just Facebook and is increasingly focusing on virtual worlds and artificial intelligence.
The company includes, among others:
The apps are free to use and are primarily financed by advertising. To do this, Meta collects a lot of information about what content users view, like, comment on or share and how long they are active. Location data, device information and interests are also included.
Meta’s various services are closely interlinked. People who use WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook at the same time leave behind a lot of information about their own usage behavior. Meta uses this information to create interest profiles for personalized advertising and recommendations.
In addition to social media, Meta is investing heavily in digital and virtual worlds. Users can immerse themselves in digital gaming or leisure worlds via the VR goggles Meta Quest. Meta is also integrating AI functions(Meta AI) directly into WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook. They can answer questions, formulate texts, generate images or summarize content. Incorrect or misleading answers are also possible.
Meta-services fulfill many needs at the same time. WhatsApp is often the most important communication channel for young people. Class chats, appointments or leisure groups usually take place directly via the messenger. Those who cannot be reached there quickly miss out on important information or feel excluded. Instagram offers entertainment and opportunities for self-expression. Likes, comments and follower numbers give many young people a sense of attention and belonging. A lot of content is automatically suggested. Reels, memes, influencer content and AI chatbots provide a constant supply. As a result, children and young people often spend significantly more time on the apps than planned.
Meta services are designed to hold your attention for as long as possible. Children and young people in particular often find it difficult to switch off as a result. Possible risks include
Younger children in particular often do not yet understand how platforms select content or why certain posts are displayed repeatedly. Advertising or AI-generated content is also often difficult for them to recognize.
Meta refers to various safety and parental control functions within the apps. These include privacy settings, reporting and blocking functions as well as parental controls for individual services such as Instagram. The company also emphasizes that AI functions should be developed responsibly. However, critics continue to criticize the extensive collection of data and the difficult-to-understand privacy settings.
Make connections visible: Explain to your child that WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook and Threads all belong to the same company. Many functions, advertisements and data collections are interlinked.
Set privacy settings together: Regularly go through the privacy settings together. Among other things, check who can see content or send messages, whether the location is visible and which data is used for advertising. Public profiles, groups or AI functions should also be checked regularly.
Talk about algorithms: Children and young people should understand that platforms do not display the most important content, but often what generates attention for a particularly long time. This can be funny, but also provocative or emotionally charged content.
Question advertising and influencers: Discuss together how influencers earn money and why certain products constantly appear. A lot of advertising content appears personal or spontaneous, but is part of targeted marketing strategies.
Critically accompany AI functions: Explain to your child that AI systems are not real friends and are not neutral sources of knowledge. Answers may be incorrect or contain prejudices. Personal information should not be entered in AI chats.
Consciously organize screen time: Endless feeds and push notifications make it difficult to take conscious media breaks. Help your child to plan offline times and reduce notifications.
Remain open to discussion: Prohibitions alone are usually of little help. It is important that your child receives support in the event of unpleasant experiences and can talk openly about problematic content, conflicts or contacts.
Violent videos, inappropriate content or advertising: many parents worry about what their child could come into contact with in digital media. This often results in the desire to keep children away from smartphones, tablets or televisions for as long as possible. However, as digital media is present in many areas of life today, contact with it can hardly be avoided.
Many parents want their children to grow up without digital media for as long as possible. This is often based on the desire for a carefree childhood with lots of exercise, free play and direct contact with other people.
The development of basic skills is particularly important for young children: learning to speak, discovering the world around them, building relationships and gaining their own experiences. Some parents therefore fear that digital media could take up too much space in everyday life too early. Concerns about unsuitable content, advertising or excessive screen time also play a role.
Children experience at an early age that smartphones, tablets and televisions are taken for granted by adults. They see how messages are read, videos are watched and photos are sent. Children also encounter media outside the family with friends, relatives or later at nursery and school. By primary school age at the latest, digital media becomes a part of everyday life for many children. Children are curious and want to understand what is happening on screens. Especially when media is so present in their environment.
When parents try to ban media completely, it is precisely this ban that makes media particularly appealing to children. Furthermore, children only learn how to use media safely if they can gain experience. This is because media literacy does not come automatically, it develops step by step. Children have to learn to understand content, ask questions and categorize experiences. Discussions with parents play an important role in this. This is why many media education concepts do not aim to shield children completely, but to accompany them during their first media experiences.
For younger children in particular, it makes sense to use media together at first. Parents can select suitable content and explain what is happening on the screen. This creates shared media experiences that can be categorized and discussed.
This allows children to learn about media in a protected environment. Questions can be clarified directly and parents can react if children do not understand something or are frightened by content. It is not about trying out as many media offerings as possible. A small amount of age-appropriate content that is of interest to children and that they can understand is often sufficient. At the same time, other activities remain central: play, exercise, creative activities and conversations with family and friends. In addition to videos or games, children can also use media creatively, for example by taking photos or recording short stories.
Today, media is part of everyday life for many families. At the same time, this does not mean that it has to play a major role in family life.
For many families, a simple orientation helps:
In this way, children learn step by step to understand and use digital media responsibly.
Mit Freund*innen chatten, auf Social Media aktiv sein, sich kreativ ausdrücken – mit dem Smartphone eröffnet sich für Kinder eine neue Welt. Viele Eltern fragen sich, wann ihr Kind alt genug ist für ein eigenes Smartphone. Eine pauschale Antwort darauf gibt es nicht, denn entscheidend ist vor allem der Entwicklungsstand des Kindes.
Der Wechsel von der Grundschule zu einer weiterführenden Schule ist für viele Eltern ein geeigneter Zeitpunkt, ein Smartphone anzuschaffen. Viele Kinder haben einen längeren Schulweg, den sie häufig allein zurücklegen. Über ein Handy oder Smartphone können sie schnell Kontakt aufnehmen. Die ständige Erreichbarkeit sollte jedoch nicht der Hauptgrund sein. Gerade für ältere Kinder und Jugendliche ist der wichtigste Grund für das eigene Smartphone der Kontakt mit ihren Freund*innen. Sie möchten dazugehören und mitreden können, wenn es um angesagte Apps und Social-Media-Trends geht.
Are you wondering whether your child is ready for their own smartphone? Then you should think about these things:
Ergänzend dazu bietet unsere Checkliste „Wann ist mein Kind reif für ein Smartphone?“ eine ausführlichere Orientierung. Sie geht Schritt für Schritt durch wichtige Kompetenzen.
Gehen Sie die Checkliste allein oder gemeinsam mit Ihrem Kind durch. Je mehr Punkte Sie ankreuzen, desto eher ist Ihr Kind bereit für ein eigenes Smartphone. Sie kennen es jedoch am besten und können seine Medienerfahrung und sein Verantwortungsbewusstsein einschätzen. Für jüngere Kinder eignet sich erstmal ein Handy ohne Internetzugang. Früher oder später wird ein eigenes Smartphone für viele Kinder Teil des Alltags.
Access to the Internet holds a lot of potential for your child, but also risks:
Wie Sie Ihr Kind vor sexueller Gewalt im Internet schützen können, erfahren Sie in dieser Broschüre von klicksafe.
Wählen Sie das erste Smartphone sorgfältig aus und beziehen Sie Kosten, Ausstattungen mit ein. Ein gebrauchtes Handy kann eine gute Wahl sein. Nehmen Sie sich Zeit, das Smartphone in Ruhe einzurichten. Achten Sie auf Altersfreigaben von Apps und aktivieren Sie die Sicherheitseinstellungen am Gerät. Besprechen Sie zusammen, welche Apps Ihr Kind nutzen darf und welche erst einmal nicht. Zu Beginn reicht eventuell ein Prepaid-Vertrag und keine Flatrate. So lernt Ihr Kind, wie viel es das Handy eigentlich benutzt und wie es mit mobilen Daten und WLAN angemessen umgehen kann. Auch Einstellungen im Smartphone können ein Bewusstsein für die Bildschirmzeit schaffen. Weitere Tipps, wie Sie die Handynutzung Ihres Kindes sicherer gestalten können, finden Sie in unserem Beitrag dazu.
Accompany your child as they take their first steps with their smartphone. Always inform your child about possible risks. Even before deciding to get your own smartphone, talk to your child about it. It can also be helpful to consult with other parents. Because most of the time, they face the same questions.
Establish common rules for media use that all family members adhere to. Keep an eye on your child’s usage times and signs of digital stress.
Find out about child-friendly offers and apps, such as the fragFINN app. You can find pedagogical assessments for mobile games at Spieleratgeber NRW.
Versuchen Sie mit gutem Beispiel voranzugehen. Missbrauchen Sie nicht das Vertrauen Ihres Kindes, indem Sie das Handy heimlich kontrollieren – ein offenes Gespräch ist der bessere Weg. Wenn Sie unsicher sind oder ernste Probleme auftreten, wenden Sie sich an pädagogische Fachkräfte oder (Online-)Beratungsstellen.
Child-friendly information can help children get to grips with the topic. The “Genial digital” magazine from the Deutsches Kinderhilfswerk (DKHW) provides children aged 8 to 11 with information about the internet and their first smartphone in a fun way.
Weitere kompakte Hinweise finden Sie im Eltern-Check-In „Mein Kind bekommt sein erstes Smartphone – worauf sollte ich achten?“.
A smartphone offers many possibilities: chatting, playing games, watching videos. Using it needs to be learned. The decisive factor is not the age of your child, but what they can already do and understand. This checklist will help you to assess this more accurately. Your child does not have to fulfill all the points. The more that apply, the better prepared your child will be. The checklist serves as a guide and does not replace an individual decision.
… has gained initial experience in using a smartphone
… masters basic functions and settings
… has basic knowledge of costs and advertising
… consciously selects apps and content
… consciously handles personal data and privacy
… behaves respectfully online
… recognizes risks and can deal with them
… observes rules
… can assess their own usage behavior
Go through the points together with your child. This will help you recognize what is already working well and where your child still needs support. If many of the points apply, a smartphone of their own can be a sensible next step, with clear rules and support. If many points do not yet apply, your child should continue to practise these skills, for example on your smartphone first.
Even if your child is well prepared, support remains important:
Having your own smartphone is not a one-off step, but a learning process that you shape together.
The social media platform Instagram is very popular with children and young people. This raises the question of how young users can be well supported and protected on the social network. Instagram therefore offers various settings for young people to enable greater safety. We present the most important functions.
On social networks such as Instagram, young people can come across inappropriate content such as erotic images, dangerous challenges, disinformation, extremist content or advertising. Dealing with issues such as cyberbullying, problematic contacts or the unwanted dissemination of their own data and posts can be challenging. Because young people are often still learning how to deal with such risks, they need special protection. This is why platforms have been legally obliged to provide protective measures for minors as well as guidance and settings options for parents since the amendment of the Youth Protection Act.
For young people aged 13 to 17, a teen account is created by default when they register with Instagram. Such an account is characterized by the following points, among others:
About the parental supervision parents can link their children’s accounts with their own and monitor and restrict their use, e.g. set time limits or make security settings. Parents are informed about their children’s activities here – for example, how long they have been active on the network, what contacts have taken place or whether content has been reported or blocked. If you do not use parental control, If young people between the ages of 13 and 15 use Instagram without parental control, the strictest security settings automatically apply to their teen account. Young people aged 16 and over can relax the security settings of their teen account themselves without parental supervision.
The settings in the teen accounts relate exclusively to how the account itself is set up on the platform. In addition, there are general security measures that you should implement together with your child:
You can find a step-by-step guide to parental controls on Instagram at medien-kindersicher.de. Instagram offers a guide for parents with conversation starters and a glossary of important terms.
Safety settings, teen account and parental supervision create an important basis for more protection on Instagram. The following points are also important to help your child use Instagram safely:
Instagram offers families support with safe use. However, it remains crucial that you talk to your child regularly about safety, well-being and potential risks on social media and that you are available to answer questions and problems. This will help your child develop confidence and skills in dealing with media.
Children and young people are online every day – in class chats, playing games or on social media. They need guidance and support in their everyday lives so that they can navigate safely. Laws such as the General Data Protection Regulation or youth media protection regulations create important framework conditions. However, it is also crucial that children learn to use media safely and consciously. You will find many articles on our website to help you with this.
How much media time makes sense? What rules help in everyday life? And when does it make sense to have your own smartphone?
You can make clear agreements together and gradually give your child more responsibility. Your own behavior is also important here: Children are strongly influenced by how adults use media. Therefore, use media together as much as possible: watch content together, play games together or talk about it.
Personal data is quickly visible online. Many apps automatically collect information, even from children. This makes it all the more important to check the privacy settings together and handle data consciously. In the articles, you will find out which settings are important, where typical risks lie and how you can help your child to protect their data.
Children and young people can be confronted with stressful situations online, such as insults, false information or unwanted contact. The articles show how you can strengthen your child, recognize signals and react correctly in an emergency. Above all, it is important that your child knows that they can turn to you at any time.
Not all online content is suitable for children, especially on video platforms and social networks. Age ratings and technical protection measures can help, but are no substitute for guidance in everyday life. The articles will help you to better assess content and find a suitable approach together with your child.
A large proportion of media use takes place via messengers, social networks and online games. This can quickly lead to misunderstandings, conflicts or unpleasant situations. The articles show how communication works online and how you can help your child to act respectfully and safely.
AI chatbots, personalized content and new platform functions are now part of everyday life for many children and young people. The articles explain how AI works, where the opportunities lie and which risks you should keep an eye on.
This selection is an introduction. You can find many more articles on apps, games, social media and current trends on our website.
A commercial before a video, a bonus for watching an ad in the middle of a game or an interruption while streaming: advertising is part of everyday life for children and young people today. It is omnipresent and often integrated in such a way that it is barely noticeable.
Advertising on the Internet has been around for a long time. What has changed significantly is how it is integrated today. It no longer just appears alongside content, but directly within it. Children encounter advertising on different platforms at the same time, for example when watching videos, in apps, in games or on streaming services. Many services are free or cheaper because they are financed by advertising. Others offer paid, ad-free versions.
Important: This is about advertising that is displayed directly by platforms, apps or games themselves, not about advertising by influencers where people present products.
Videos on the Internet without advertising have become rare. Commercials run before and during videos, often several in a row or without a skip function. On platforms such as YouTube, these ads can appear several times in succession. There are also overlays in the image and references to paid, ad-free subscriptions.
It is often not clear to children where the actual content begins and where advertising ends. Advertising is often designed in a similar way to videos themselves, fast, colorful and entertaining. Many ads are personalized. They are based on what content has been viewed so far or what users are interested in. The basis for this includes cookies and user profiles that evaluate behavior.
Although special rules apply to content aimed at children, advertising is still displayed. Specially adapted content can therefore be useful for younger children.
Streaming services are also increasingly relying on advertising and, in addition to traditional subscriptions without advertising, are increasingly offering cheaper models with commercial breaks. These appear before or during a movie or series and are reminiscent of television. Here too, advertising can be personalized and based on previous usage data.
Advertising is particularly present in games and free apps. Here, it is often directly linked to usage: Anyone who watches an advertising video receives rewards such as coins, additional lives or new functions. This changes perception. Advertising is not only viewed, but actively used to progress in the game.
In addition, banners, pop-ups or notices about purchases appear within the app. These are often directly linked to the course of the game and can lead to quick spending. Children also encounter advertising in the browser, i.e. on websites, for example in the form of banners, pop-ups or videos that start automatically. These can appear while surfing and are not always easy to close or skip.
Ads also regularly appear in feeds and story areas on platforms such as Instagram and TikTok. They often resemble normal posts, but come from accounts that you do not follow. They are often labeled with terms such as “Sponsored”, for example in the feed or between short videos. These notices are easy to miss, especially for children.
In addition, trends, hashtags and challenges are specifically used by companies to generate attention for products.
Children first have to learn to understand and categorize advertising. Digital advertising makes this even more difficult because it is adapted to media in terms of appearance and content, is very short and entertaining and is integrated directly into games, videos or feeds. There is often no clear distinction between content and advertising. Younger children in particular are therefore often unaware of advertising.
Advertising content is constantly present and often not clearly labeled. Content is interrupted or mixed with commercial elements. Reward systems can lead to children making targeted use of advertising without questioning its purpose. At the same time, direct links quickly lead to purchases within apps or games.
Then there is the use of data: many advertisements are based on information collected about the behavior of users. Not all content is age-appropriate, even if there are corresponding guidelines.
Accompany your child, especially during their first steps in digital media. Explain in concrete terms what advertising is, why it is displayed and how it can be recognized. Use examples from your child’s everyday life, for example when playing games or watching videos.
Talk about the fact that many offers have to earn money, either through advertising or subscriptions.
Check settings together and restrict personalized advertising (if possible), deactivate or protect in-app purchases and use age-appropriate profiles or offers. In most services, advertising cannot be switched off completely, often only individual preferences can be adjusted.
Technical measures can provide support, but are no substitute for guidance.
A cute photo of the family party in the WhatsApp status or on platforms such as Instagram is a matter of course for many. For parents, it can be uncomfortable when pictures of their own child are shared without consultation. This is not about forbidding others to do something, but about protecting your own child’s privacy.
Photos of children are personal data. Once shared online, they are almost impossible to control or delete completely. Images can be saved, distributed via screenshots or simply forwarded. You often don’t realize this. The more people can see a photo, for example via status functions or public profiles, the greater the risk of it being passed on. Children’s pictures can be misused or forwarded.
Children have a right to privacy and to have a say in what is shown of them. They also have a right to their own image, which is why photos should not be shared without consent. At the same time, they are often not yet able to assess the consequences. Every time a photo is shared, a digital image of your child is created that they can no longer control themselves. It becomes particularly sensitive when photos are published together with names, place of residence or other personal information. If other children can be seen in the photo, parental consent should also be obtained. Many relatives or acquaintances mean well. They want to share beautiful moments or express their joy. This is precisely why respectful treatment is important.
Many conflicts can be avoided if expectations are clarified at an early stage:
It is important that your attitude is understandable, without accusations.
Some react with surprise or feel criticized. It helps to calmly explain why the topic is important to you:
A change of perspective can help. Would you want such photos of yourself to be seen on the Internet?
Despite agreements, it can happen that photos are shared. It then makes sense to react promptly:
In many cases, the problem can be resolved in a personal conversation.
The older children get, the more important their own opinion is. Ask your child whether they agree with a photo. From primary school age, many children are already able to decide whether a picture of them can be shared. This teaches your child to think about their own privacy and set boundaries.
Also pay attention to your own behavior. Ask your child and other parents before you share photos. This will show you what respectful behavior can look like.
If agreements are repeatedly ignored or conflicts arise, remain calm and clear in your stance. Raise the issue again and look for solutions together. In some cases, it makes sense to bring in outside support to clarify the situation.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
“A real man doesn’t show any feelings” or “Women only want successful men” – when scrolling through TikTok, YouTube or Instagram, young people come across many ideas about how men or women are supposed to be. Some videos look like harmless dating tips, fitness motivation or lifestyle content. However, they may be based on extreme or oversimplified role models.
A lot of content about relationships, dating or “real masculinity” is circulating on social media. Some creators convey clear rules about how men or women should supposedly be or behave. These are often about success, dominance, attractiveness or traditional roles in relationships. Some of these role models are also used by extremist groups to appeal to young people online.
The term “manosphere” keeps cropping up in this context. This refers to a loose network of online communities that deal with masculinity, relationships and gender roles. The content can be found on platforms such as TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Reddit or in podcasts.
Many posts initially seem like advice for young men: they should become more self-confident and muscular, earn more money or be more successful in dating. In some communities, however, oversimplified or misogynistic ideas are spread. For example, it is claimed that men are disadvantaged by equality or that they have to be dominant in relationships.
In addition to content like this, there are also trends that show very traditional female roles. In the so-called tradwife trend, influencers present a life as a “traditional wife” who mainly takes care of the household, family and her partner. The videos often appear aesthetic and deliberately staged.
Much of this content is not overtly extremist. Problematic messages about gender roles are often conveyed indirectly or linked to humor, lifestyle or motivation.
Young people deal intensively with questions about identity, relationships and their place in the world. Content about role models can therefore have a major impact.
Some aspects may appeal particularly to young people:
The Tradwife trend can also appeal to young people because it shows a seemingly harmonious life model. Conflicts or inequalities usually remain invisible in such videos. In addition, social platforms often suggest other similar content. This can give the impression that many people think this way.
Some of these videos or posts may contain problematic messages or reinforce extreme role models.
Social network algorithms can also contribute to young people seeing similar content more and more frequently, resulting in a one-sided view of the world.
Young people often come across such content by chance. This makes it all the more important to monitor their media use.
An open conversation about relationships, equality and what young people see on social media can help to critically classify extreme messages.
There are few phrases that make parents sweat faster when it comes to media education. Whether it’s about having their own smartphone, TikTok, games orscreen time, children and young people compare themselves with their peers. Parents can quickly come under pressure and perhaps ask themselves: Am I being too strict?
It is important to note that “everyone else” is almost never literally true. Children and young people usually mean a feeling. They want to belong. Media often plays a big role in their circle of friends. Especially during puberty, it is very important to be able to have a say and not be excluded. Stay calm and ask questions:
It often turns out that there are one or two children in the class – not really “everyone”. This brief inquiry takes the pressure off the situation and opens the door for a conversation.
There is usually more behind the phrase “Everyone else is allowed to do that” than just a desire for media. It’s often about belonging, being independent or negotiating with you. Try to recognize what is behind this in your child. Then the conversation will be calmer and you can find solutions together.
Don’t just say the rules, explain them. A simple “no” often leads to resistance. An explanation has a different effect:
If your child understands why certain rules exist, he or she will be better able to accept them.
Get in touch with other parents! Because many parents face the same questions. It often turns out: No one knows exactly what “everyone” is doing. Perhaps you can find common ground with parents in your environment.
At the same time, you can stick to your decisions. Because media education is different in every family. Every family has its own values, habits and boundaries. Children develop at different speeds – you should take this into account when making decisions. Other families may do things differently.
If you notice that the issue is not going away – try out graduated solutions and be sure to observe technical parental control settings. Small steps can be helpful:
This way, your child will feel taken seriously without all the rules being lifted. It is best to agree media rules together. A media usage agreement, for example, can help with this.
Your child should learn to use media independently and safely. To do this, your child needs clear rules – and parents who listen. Stay in contact with your child, make comprehensible decisions together and show genuine interest in your child’s everyday media life and media role models. This will build trust. And trust is the best basis for conscious media use.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
Has your child been scrolling through YouTube shorts more often lately? These short videos are often very captivating and can lead to your child staying glued to the screen for longer.
YouTube Shorts is an area within YouTube with very short videos in portrait format. They work in a similar way to TikTok clips or Instagram reels. They include, for example, funny clips and challenges, life hacks and craft ideas, sports and gaming scenes as well as dance and music videos – often created by influencers. The clips are 15 to 60 seconds long and are played automatically one after the other. Which videos are shown is decided by a recommendation algorithm – a system that is based on previous user behavior.
Shorts are particularly appealing to children and teenagers because they:
But be careful: even if your child is not looking for it, surprisingly unsuitable content can appear in between because the selection is automatic.
With a swipe, the next video appears immediately – and your child can easily lose track of time. YouTube has therefore introduced a new function in Parental Controls:
You can find clear step-by-step instructions at medien-kindersicher.de under point 1.5.
By the way: The YouTube Kids app can be an option for younger children. It filters content according to age and encourages less endless scrolling.
Technical time limits and protection settings can help you with media education. They are only helpful if your child understands why these rules apply. Watching too many shorts can disrupt sleep, concentration and other activities such as hobbies or homework. If possible, set the media rules for usage times, times and breaks together, then your child will be more likely to stick to them.
Do you often spend a long time scrolling through short videos on Instagram, TikTok or YouTube? Then it may be that your child finds it harder to understand why you are stricter with them. We adults often spend a lot of time on our smartphones ourselves, e.g. to use messengers, read the news, listen to podcasts and organize our everyday lives. Try to reflect on your own media use and limit it if necessary, e.g. by introducing cell phone-free times or planning screen-free activities together.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
