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Online hate speech: recognize, understand and act

Social media and messenger apps such as Instagram, TikTok, WhatsApp and Snapchat are particularly popular with young people. This is where they post articles, network and discuss topics that concern them. Of course, not everyone always agrees on every topic. Just like in real life, conflicts, discussions and misunderstandings also occur between young people on the internet. Most of the time, this is harmless and there is no need for you as parents to worry. However, the internet also brings new challenges: Some discussions can get out of hand and turn into deliberate hostility or hate speech.

What is Hate Speech?

The internet can help to lower the inhibition thresholds for insults, hatred and discrimination. Many people are quicker to write derogatory or hurtful things online that they would never say in person. Protected by anonymity and distance, they often forget that there are real people on the other side.

Hate speech can take many forms. It is often directed against entire groups – such as people with a different skin color, religion, sexual orientation or origin.
Typical characteristics of hate speech are: derogatory language or insults, calls for exclusion or violence or the spread of misanthropic ideologies.

While cyberbullying usually targets a specific person, hate speech often affects entire population groups.

Important to know: Hate comments can not only be offensive, but also punishable by law. No-hate-speech.de explains clearly which forms of hate speech can violate the law.

Hidden hate messages: right-wing codes and dog whistling

Not every hate message online is immediately recognizable. Extremist groups often use so-called secret signs and terms that appear harmless to outsiders but send clear messages in certain circles.

Dog whistling means sending a message that only insiders can understand – just as a dog whistle can only be heard by dogs. On the internet, dog whistling is used to spread radical or extremist content without openly violating platform rules or laws. This makes it harder to immediately recognize hate and hate speech.

Watch out for unusual terms, emojis or hashtags popping up. Typical examples are:

  • Frog emoji 🐸 (“Pepe”): The cartoon character “Pepe the Frog” was originally a harmless internet meme. Nowadays, right-wing extremist groups use the symbol specifically to promote their ideology – often in connection with racist or anti-Semitic statements.
  • Pineapple emoji 🍍: In certain conspiracy ideology and right-wing extremist circles, the pineapple is used as a hidden reference to a right-wing world view – for example as a symbol for alleged secret elites or as part of coded hate messages.
  • Numbers like “14” or “88”: The number “14” stands for the “14 words” (“We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children” | in German “Wir müssen die Existenz unseres Volkes und eine Zukunft für weiße Kinder sichern”), so it is a racist motto. The number “88” is used as code for “Heil Hitler” (H is the 8th letter in the alphabet).
  • Terms such as “redpilled”: The term originally comes from the movie Matrix, but is now also used by extremist groups to describe an alleged “awakening to the truth”, usually linked to conspiracy ideology or racist content.

You can find more examples in the article “Geheime Codes von Rechtsextremen online” (Campact) or in the YouTube video “Dog Whistling erklärt” (Berliner Register).

Of course, there doesn’t have to be malicious intent behind every unusual symbol. Nevertheless, it is worth taking a closer look at strange symbols or terms together with young people and asking questions.

What can parents do?

Talk about hate speech. Talk to your child about online discrimination and its consequences. Young people often close themselves off if they are affected themselves and are insulted or hostile online. If it is common practice in your home to talk openly about everything, your child will be more likely to turn to you in confidence if the worst comes to the worst. Topics for discussion could be What is respectful behavior? How does hate speech feel for those affected? How can you defend yourself against hate online?

Important: The same rules should apply online as in real life – fairness, openness and appreciation.

Offer support. Let your child know that they are not alone when they experience hate online. Listen and take your child seriously.
Save evidence by taking screenshots of offensive comments or messages. Many platforms have functions for reporting hate messages – either directly in the app or via special contact points that deal with problematic content online. If necessary, advice centers or online portals can help.

Take an active stand against hate. Hate online should not simply be accepted. Young people can learn: to support those affected by making friendly comments, to report hate messages and to take a stand with respectful counter-speech (without putting themselves at risk). Projects such as #NichtEgal help young people to show civil courage online and promote a positive culture of discussion.

Helpful information and support services

Online shopping at Shein, Temu & Co. – to be enjoyed with caution

Clothing, leisure items, school supplies … shopping is often done online these days. Young people in particular like to use Shein and Temu, for example. The stores entice shoppers with very low prices, high discounts and targeted advertising – especially on social media. But caution is advised.

Temu and Shein – what’s behind the online stores?

For a long time, Amazon was the undisputed largest online retailer. However, other platforms have become increasingly present in recent years. They are called Temu, Shein, AliExpress or Wish, are often based in Asian countries and combine extremely low prices with a strikingly aggressive advertising strategy. The two largest and best-known providers are Shein and Temu:

  • Temu is an online marketplace from China, headquartered in Dublin, where companies sell items in all categories – from clothing and furnishings to electronics. Temu has been active in Germany since 2023. Users can not only shop via the portal, but also play games. The aim is to encourage them to return frequently.
  • Shein is an online store from Singapore that primarily offers “fast fashion” (i.e. very affordable and often short-lived clothing). The platform has been available in Germany since 2015. The company primarily advertises to a young target group on social networks and also works with influencers.

AliExpress and Wish also have similar offers and strategies – with comparable risks.

Why do these stores appeal so strongly to children and young people?

The platforms work with superlatives: they have extremely large product ranges that are changing rapidly. They offer very low prices and very high discounts – and they advertise louder, more aggressively and more pointedly than all other providers.

Children and young people can hardly avoid the platforms: they are shown personalized ads on social media, but influencers also frequently advertise online marketplaces. In this way, the platforms turn themselves into online trends and become attractive to young shoppers.

What should users know?

The seemingly unbelievable offers come at a price:

  • Poor quality: Because the bargain platforms primarily sell a lot of goods quickly and at a low price, they are often not of good quality. Both users and mystery shoppers complain that the cheap products are of poor quality and often do not meet their requirements.
  • No sustainability: The focus on quick sales means that sustainability falls by the wayside: the production and sales channels are opaque, manufacturing conditions, working conditions and product ingredients are often unclear and long flight routes have a negative impact on the environment.
  • Legal gray areas: Providers often operate in a legal gray area. They circumvent EU tax and customs regulations and have legal disputes with many EU countries due to a lack of consumer protection.
  • Data protection problems: And finally, stores often don’t take data protection very seriously either – they collect data and analyze it for their advertising strategies. There have also been accusations that data is being sold.

What parents should pay attention

If your child shops on these platforms, it is important that you take a close look together beforehand: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such platforms. Consider together to what extent and for which products it makes sense to use them. And discuss how you can make the purchase as secure as possible: Many platforms require payment in advance – but the risk can be reduced by making sure you use secure payment methods such as buyer protection (e.g. with PayPal or credit cards). Also take a look at your cell phone settings: Only give the app the most necessary authorizations. For example, shopping providers do not need to know your location and push notifications can be deactivated.

Also question advertising on social media together: What is a genuine recommendation and what is paid advertising (sponsorship)? If your child shows interest in a product, don’t just look at the price, but also compare the quality from other suppliers. This will help you avoid disappointment or duplicate purchases.

Even better: look for sustainable, trustworthy and affordable alternatives to marketplaces together. Second-hand suppliers, for example, often also have a large selection of products at reasonable prices – and with far fewer catches.

Tip: Use this topic to talk to your child about values when shopping: Do clothes always have to be new? What is important to me – price, style, quality, environment? How much do I really need? Such conversations help young people to critically question consumption and make good decisions.

Further links and information

Casual games – games for in between

A quick game of cards on the bus, quickly mowing the lawn at the supermarket checkout, jumping on trains while waiting for your meal in the restaurant or puzzling out words together on the sofa in the evening. This is how casual games work – simple digital games. They range from small mobile games like Candy Crush to big console titles like Mario Party. What they all have in common is that they are easily accessible, entertaining and often particularly beginner-friendly. They are simple, fast and always accessible. But they are not completely problem-free.

What are casual games?

The term “casual games” means occasional games. Their most important characteristics are

  • They are often available free of charge and can usually be used on smartphones, PCs and consoles.
  • They have simple game principles that can be understood and implemented immediately.
  • They can be played in small bites at any time.
  • They usually work with rewards, leaderboards and flashy visuals to motivate users to keep playing.

Well-known examples include Candy Crush, Quizduell, Subway Surfer and Mahjong. But also Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing also count as casual games due to their relaxed gameplay and broad target group. These games are now so popular that more than half of people in Germany play them at least occasionally. In 2023, 5.1 billion euros in sales were generated across Germany with these small games.

Casual gaming in the family

Casual games are also frequently found in families. Thanks to their simple design, they appeal to all family members and have fans in all age groups. Even family members who are not real gamers are often enthusiastic about the “little gaming experience in between”. In many casual games, players can connect with each other, play against each other or help each other. This creates a shared experience that brings the family together. But solo games such as Unpacking or A Little to the Left also invite you to think, organize and relax – without any time pressure or pressure to perform. Some games promote skills such as responsiveness, logical thinking or problem-solving and are therefore an entertaining and educational pastime for children and young people.

What should parents pay attention to?

Despite all the fun, as parents you should always keep an eye on the problematic aspects of so-called “handbag games” – and discuss these with your child:

  • Age information: Discuss with your child which apps they are allowed to use on their own smartphone. Pay attention to the USK age rating and find out about suitable, age-appropriate offers. A look at the USK rating also reveals whether additional money can be spent in the game or whether a chat function is included. The NRW Game Guide reviews and describes games from an educational perspective. The ratings are a good basis for forming your own opinion – on Candy Crush, for example.
  • Time: click, reward, again! Casual games are often packed with incentives, rewards and small challenges that tempt you to keep playing. Children in particular therefore find it difficult to stop in time and use the games to a healthy extent. Talk openly with your child about the use of these game apps. Agree a time budget together and use the settings options on the devices to help your child use them consciously.
  • Costs: Even if many casual games can initially be downloaded free of charge, this does not mean that they really cost nothing. Many offers rely on in-game purchases. These microtransactions can be used to boost powers or acquire useful items for real money, for example. This can quickly add up and become expensive. Agree with your child how much money they can spend. If necessary, deactivate in-app purchases in the Google Play Store or Apple App Store on the smartphone or alternatively use a voucher card for the app stores. Some casual games only have to be paid for once, but offer a complete and high-quality gaming experience without any in-app purchases or advertising.
  • Data: Another issue is data protection: not all providers handle personal data with care. If your child provides information carelessly, it is often impossible to understand what it is being used for. Discuss with your child which data they are allowed to disclose and where.

Casual games can be a great way to pass the time while waiting for the bus – without any unwanted side effects.

Podcasts for teenagers

They have been around since the turn of the millennium – but they have only become an integral part of everyday life in recent years, especially since the coronavirus pandemic: podcasts. Almost half of people in Germany regularly listen to podcasts – young people even more than adults. Many formats are aimed specifically at young people, others more at adults.

What is a podcast?

Podcasts are audio broadcasts that you can listen to or subscribe to online – similar to radio broadcasts, but more flexible: you can listen to them anytime and anywhere. The name is made up of “pod” (playable on demand) and “cast” (broadcast).

In addition to classic audio podcasts, there are also video podcasts or formats that combine both. Most podcasts appear regularly in series form – with a fixed topic, such as sport, culture or news. Sometimes the episodes are self-contained, sometimes they build on each other.

Podcasts are in trend

Audio formats are practical: they are easy to listen to on the go and can quickly relieve boredom. There are podcasts in which people talk casually about their everyday lives or “God and the world” – and others that deal specifically with certain topics. Many young people like podcasts because they are both entertaining and informative. Listening to podcasts often creates the feeling of being particularly close to the podcasters – especially when they talk about personal things. This sometimes has a similar effect to influencers on social media.

There are many podcasts that are deliberately made for young people and are dedicated to youth topics. Often, the “hosts” (i.e. the people who lead through the podcast) are very much in the foreground. Young people then listen not only because of the content, but above all because of the person, for example when influencers have their own podcasts. Podcasts such as “Dick & Doof“, “Hobbylos” or “Gemischtes Hack” are very popular with young people. But true crime podcasts are also popular, i.e. formats in which real criminal cases are told, such as in “Mordlust” or “ZEIT Verbrechen“.

What should parents pay attention to?

Unlike videos or games, podcasts do not yet have to be labeled with an age rating in order to protect minors. Labelling has long been considered, but the sheer number of podcasts makes it difficult to implement. So anyone can produce and publish a podcast – with any content. Therefore, regularly ask what podcasts your child listens to and find out about them.

Another point: Many podcasts contain advertising – it is often spoken directly by the hosts and is not always clearly recognizable. Advertising can have an influence, especially on young people. Many podcasts are financed by advertising.

In addition, platforms such as Spotify, Apple Podcasts or Deezer automatically suggest new content based on listening behavior. Not all suggested formats are age-appropriate. Keep a watchful eye – or discover suitable content together with your child.

Listening recommendations for teenagers

Podcasts aimed specifically at young people are usually ad-free, have an age recommendation and deal with topics that interest young people. But there are definitely podcasts that don’t have a specific age recommendation, but are still well suited for teens. Here are a few tips:

  • Where’s the pressure? – Recommended for ages 13 and up, available via various platforms (including Spotify and Podimo): Two actresses from the youth series DRUCK talk about their personal experiences with first love, annoying parents and bullying. Although there have been no new episodes since 2020, the old ones are still popular.
  • Heinefunk – recommended from the age of 11, available via various platforms (including Apple Podcast and Spotify): The podcast of a grammar school can also be exciting, because here pupils themselves have their say. It’s about current school life, which can also be interesting for outsiders – or the suggestion to set up your own school podcast.
  • TWEEN Screen – recommended from the age of 11; available via ARD Audiothek and Podimo: The youth podcast from MDR deals with the topic of media use and answers questions from young users.
  • Podcast to join in – recommended from the age of 14, available via ARD Audiothek and Spotify: “Schreib mich ab” is not just an exciting crime story, but an interactive podcast experience. Young listeners can help determine how the story develops via the podcast’s Instagram profile.
  • Listen, feel, understand – recommended for ages 12 and up, available via many portals (including Spotify): Four young presenters invite exciting guests and talk about everything that moves them. Everyday life and exceptional situations, nutrition, politics, taboos. “How we feel” is exciting to listen to and to sort out yourself and your own feelings.
  • Aha effect to go – recommended for ages 12 and up, available via their website and Spotify, among others: a journalist and six dedicated young people get to the bottom of topics that have always interested them and research topics such as black holes, self-driving cars and oat milk. “The Science Reporters” is concentrated knowledge by and for young people.
  • Always well informed – recommended from the age of 9 or 14, e.g. in the ARD Audiothek & Spotify: There are plenty of good news podcasts for children and young people. For example, the NDR children’s news, which presents the latest news for children aged 9 and over every week, or “0630“, where the presenters summarize the most important news from around the world every morning in a concise, informative and understandable way for young people aged 14 and over.

You can find more tips for podcasts for young people at Webhelm and the city magazine Känguru.

The Internet phenomenon memes

Egal ob witzige Tierbilder mit Sprechblasen, verfremdete Pressefotos oder neu interpretierte Szenen aus Filmen und Serien – Memes sind heutzutage überall im Internet zu finden. Memes werden durch das Teilen in sozialen Netzwerken schnell sehr bekannt und sind auch bei Kindern und Jugendlichen beliebt. Sie spiegeln Humor und Gruppenzugehörigkeit wider, können aber auch problematische Inhalte transportieren und verbreiten.

Was sind Memes?

Ein Bild, ein Video oder ein Filmausschnitt wird dann zum Meme, wenn es aus seinem ursprünglichen Kontext gerissen und mit einem neuen, oft humorvollen Text versehen wird. Besonders lustig sind Memes, wenn man das Original kennt – denn der Witz entsteht meist aus der überraschenden Kombination von Bekanntem und Neuem. Der Text ist dabei häufig ironisch gemeint.

Hinter Memes steckt oft eine kreative Idee, die immer wieder neu interpretiert wird und sich stetig weiterentwickelt. Memes werden auch genutzt, um Gefühle zu zeigen oder auf aktuelle politische und gesellschaftliche Themen aufmerksam zu machen. Berühmte Persönlichkeiten wie Goethe oder Napoleon oder Figuren aus Filmen und Comics bekommen neue, zeitgemäße Aussagen in den Mund gelegt. So wird aktueller Bezug zur heutigen Wirklichkeit hergestellt.

Das Besondere an Memes ist, dass dieselben Bilder immer wieder verwendet und mit einem neuen Text versehen werden. Ein bekanntes Beispiel ist „Hide the Pain Harold“ (Deutsch: „Verbirg den Schmerz, Harold“), das diesem Artikel als Beitragsbild dient. Dieses Meme zeigt den Ungarn Arató András mit einem gequälten Lächeln und wurde zu einem der bekanntesten Reaktionsbilder im Internet.

Es gibt verschiedene Meme-Formate: Ein klassisches Beispiel ist ein Bild mit einem witzigen Spruch in großer, weißer Schrift. Andere Memes bestehen aus Screenshots von Chats, Comic-Zeichnungen oder kurzen Videoclips. Viele Memes folgen bestimmten Vorlagen oder Trends. Wer sich in der Meme-Welt auskennt, erkennt diese Muster sofort.

Was Kinder und Jugendliche an Memes fasziniert

Für viele Jugendliche sind Memes weit mehr als bloße Unterhaltung – sie gehören fest zu ihrer (digitalen) Sprache. Mit Memes können sie Stimmungen, Gedanken oder Meinungen ausdrücken. Durch Ironie und Übertreibung lassen sich auch schwierige oder unangenehme Themen leichter ansprechen. Wer aktuelle Memes kennt oder selbst gestaltet, zeigt Zugehörigkeit zur eigenen Peer-Group.

Zudem fördern sie die Kreativität: Jugendliche probieren sich aus in Bildbearbeitung, Sprache und der Verbindung zu Trends in Social Media und Popkultur. Da Memes schnell erstellt und geteilt werden können, bieten sie eine einfache Möglichkeit, sich humorvoll und individuell mitzuteilen. Die visuelle Kommunikation ist ihnen ohnehin vertraut – Emojis, GIFs und Bilder ersetzen oft ganze Texte. Und da Kinder und Jugendliche gerne lachen und scherzen, treffen Memes genau ihre Vorlieben und verbreiten sich entsprechend schnell. Memes sind so beliebt, dass sie auch in der Offline-Welt präsent sind – zum Beispiel als Party-Kartenspiele oder Pausenhofgespräche.

Wenn Memes missbraucht werden

Auch wenn viele Memes harmlos oder lustig wirken, können sie problematische Inhalte transportieren. Manche Memes enthalten diskriminierende, rassistische oder sexistische Aussagen, machen sich über Minderheiten lustig oder verbreiten Verschwörungstheorien und politische Propaganda. Extremistische Gruppen nutzen Memes, um ihre Ideologien zu verbreiten – gerade bei Jugendlichen, die oft nicht hinterfragen, welche Botschaft dahintersteckt.

Oft werden sie anonym erstellt und rasant weiterverbreitet – ohne Rücksicht auf Urheberrechte oder die abgebildeten Personen. Besonders kritisch wird es, wenn Menschen durch Memes bloßgestellt oder herabgewürdigt werden, etwa wegen eines sichtbaren Handicaps. Wenn sich solche Inhalte stark verbreiten, kann das für die betroffenen Personen große negative Folgen haben.

Was sollten Eltern beachten?

Sie müssen kein*e Meme-Expert*in sein, um Ihr Kind gut zu begleiten – ein grundlegendes Verständnis reicht aus, um im Gespräch zu bleiben. Zeigen Sie Interesse an der Mediennutzung Ihres Kindes. Fragen Sie ruhig nach: Welches Meme ist gerade angesagt? So entsteht ein offener Austausch – auch über problematische oder verletzende Inhalte.

Sprechen Sie mit Ihrem Kind über einen respektvollen Umgang miteinander im Netz, die Grenzen von Humor und mögliche Diskriminierung. Unterstützen Sie es dabei, Inhalte kritisch zu hinterfragen: Wer steckt hinter einem Meme? Welche Botschaft wird vermittelt? Welche Wirkung kann es auf andere haben? Gehen Sie dabei mit gutem Beispiel voran: reflektieren Sie Ihre eigene Online-Kommunikation kritisch und sprechen Sie mit gemeinsam mit Ihrem Kind über Ihre Erfahrungen.

Auch Menschen, die sich für eine wertschätzende Kommunikationskultur im Netz engagieren, nutzen Memes, um Hass und Extremismus etwas entgegenzusetzen – eine Sammlung solcher Memes finden Sie zum Beispiel auf dem Instagram-Profil von Gustaver der Liebe.

Wenn Sie und Ihr Kind gern Memes anschauen oder teilen, werfen Sie gemeinsam einen kritischen Blick auf die Inhalte. Oder gestalten Sie selbst kreative und lustige Memes, zum Beispiel mit dem Online-Tool Meme Generator von imgflip.com oder der App Mematic. Das macht Spaß und fördert die Medienkompetenz.

Imgflip

Young people and their media role models

Whether in series and manga, in video games and social media or in the world of celebrities – young people encounter figures and characters everywhere that inspire them. Whether superheroes like Spider Man, game characters like Ahri, anime characters like Levi Ackerman or stars like Billie Eilish – teenagers regard a wide variety of media figures as their role models and look up to them.

What media role models mean for young people

Do you remember how enthusiastically your child told you about his favorite characters from movies and television a few years ago? From an early age, children are guided by their favorite media characters. Young people also look for role models not only in their immediate environment of family, friends or clubs, but increasingly in the media offerings they use.

Forming one’s own identity is one of the most important tasks in adolescence. Media content and characters take on important functions for young people. In this way, media role models can help people develop their own values. They can not only offer young people orientation and support, but even inspire them to try out and experiment with different identities and roles. It is character traits such as courage, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and perseverance that go down particularly well with young people. But they are also fascinated by characters who are particularly funny or original or who pursue big goals.

It is particularly important for teenagers to share information about their media idols, which creates a sense of community. Often, clothing, (youth) language or hobbies, but also media use itself, show which media role models they feel close to. Youth cultures, such as e-boys and e-girls, are popular among young people, and by belonging to such currents they also distinguish themselves from one another within their peer group.

What media role models are there?

In addition to a large number of fictional characters from films, series, games and books, real people from the media world also inspire young people. These can be celebrities from the film and music industry or social media stars. With this variety of media figures, it can happen that one loses the overview. Here are a few examples:

  • Celebrities from show and sports business such as Ariana Grande, Cristiano Ronaldo and Giulia Gwinn are important figures that young people look up to and emulate. YouTube stars such as Julien Bam, Gronkh and Shirin David are also very popular with young people. As influencers in particular, stars offer a high potential for identification and allow their followers to actively participate in their lives. This supposed closeness can lead to your child seeing them as their ‘best friend’ or ‘big sister’
  • On social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok and the like, young people can find media role models who match their interests perfectly. Well-known fitness influencers include Sophia Thiel and Laura Sophie, while in the lifestyle sector, young people can meet Julienco and the twins Lisa and Lena, among others. When it comes to fashion, they follow Madeleine Darya Alizadeh (Dariadaria) and Helge Mark, among others, and if they are interested in make-up tips and skincare, beauty influencers such as Paula Wolf and Maxim Giacomo are interesting. LukasBS and Pandorya, on the other hand, are well-known Let’s Players and Jasmin Gnu is another increasingly diverse figure in the gaming scene. More and more influencers, so-called meaning influencers, are addressing socially relevant topics online on their channels. In Germany, Luisa Neubauer is particularly well known for her environmental content and Rezo for his political content. If you love DIYs, you might find Easy Alex or Linda Seel to be role models. Sometimes young people just want to pass the time. Some influencers offer the best entertainment on their channels – often without committing to a specific topic.
  • There are heroes, like those from the Marvel universe, who save the world together or alone. Various characters, such as Spider Man, Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor and Hulk come together and form “The Avengers” (in German: die Rächer) together with many other characters to protect the universe.
  • The Harry Potter universe is still very popular today. Whether the novels or the films – the characters still enchant young people today. In addition to Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, new characters such as Newt Scamander and Jacob Kowalski have been introduced in the Fantastic Beasts series of films, creating excitement on the big screen.
  • Anime are Japanese animated series that many young people are passionate about. Here, heroes from other worlds fight demons and monsters to protect people. Well-known characters include Tanjiro, Zenitsu and Nezuko from Demon Slayer or Satoru Gojo and Yuji Itadori from Jujutsu Kaisen.

What should parents pay attention to?

Parents don’t have to like their children’s media idols. Nevertheless, talk to your child about their media heroes. Ask which of their character traits your child particularly likes.

Media also feature figures who are not well suited as role models. They may model problematic behaviors or teach questionable values. Sometimes they reproduce stereotypical gender images, prejudices or clichés that result in a false or incomplete worldview. Media role models play an important role in forming political opinions, but they do not always live up to their responsibility. Young people are particularly susceptible to populism, extremism and disinformation during the orientation phase. This is especially true when such content comes from their favorite influencers. The role model function of internet stars can also become questionable in connection with advertising. For example, when popular influencers promote products, this can sometimes be done indirectly or covertly.

Talk to your child about critical behaviors and clarify stereotypes. Remain neutral and unbiased when asking questions and engage with their world of media role models. Maybe it helps if you remember your own youth and your idols. How did you feel at that time?

Virtual parents’ evening on 19.05.2025 from 5 to 6 pm

My first smartphone – how to get your child off to a safe and relaxed start

Your child will soon be holding their first smartphone in their hands – and with it many new possibilities, but also challenges. In the virtual parents’ evening, you will receive everyday tips on safe settings, protecting personal data and child-friendly apps. We will provide tips on media education and show you how you can empower your child to deal competently with contact risks, cost traps and the like. Find out how to help your child use digital media responsibly – for safe and positive smartphone use right from the start!

Take the opportunity to be there live and ask your questions to our experts – we will be on hand to exchange ideas and provide valuable inspiration for everyday family life!

Information and registration

Date: 19.05.2025 | Time: 5 to 6 pm

Speakers: Sophie Pohle (Deutsches Kinderhilfswerk) and Sophia Mellitzer (JFF – Institute for Media Education in Research and Practice)

Moderation: Nils Rudolf (FSM e.V.)

Platform: The virtual parents’ evening is realized via the tool “Zoom”.

Privacy Notice: Zoom is a service of Zoom Video Communications Inc. which is based in the USA. We use Zoom via the German operator easymeet24. easymeet24 ‘s server is located in Europe. Furthermore, we have selected the configurations with the highest data and security protection within the Zoom service.
Please also take note of our privacy policy.

Registration:

    Hiermit melde ich mich zum virtuellen Elternabend von Elternguide.online am 19.05.2025 um 17.00 Uhr verbindlich an.

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    Using TikTok securely together

    TikTok is part of everyday life for many children and young people. They watch short videos, are entertained, get information or post content themselves. Many parents don’t know exactly what they are watching or posting there – and are worried. This makes it all the more important to know the app’s security settings – and to stay in touch.

    What TikTok offers for parents

    With the “Accompanied Mode” (also known as “Family Pairing”), TikTok offers the option of controlling certain functions of the app on the child’s account together. These include:

    • Limit screen time: Set how long your child can use TikTok each day.
    • Filter content: Determine which videos are displayed in the “For you” feed to ensure that only age-appropriate content is visible.
    • Control messages: Decide who can communicate with your child via direct messages – or deactivate this function completely.
    • Restrict notifications: Set the times at which TikTok sends notifications to minimize distractions during important times such as school hours or bedtime.
    • Schedule breaks: Plan regular breaks or rest periods during which the use of the app is interrupted (e.g. during homework or at night).
    • Usage overview: The so-called screen time dashboard gives you an insight into your child’s activities, including the accounts they follow, as well as blocked and blocking users.

    Additional protective functions take effect automatically, depending on the age specified in the profile:

    • Users under the age of 16 receive a reminder after 10 p.m. asking them to pause the app. If use is resumed, a second reminder will appear. In addition, a relaxation aid is offered that plays calming music.
    • For the under-18s, beauty filters are deactivated in order to reduce the pressure of unrealistic ideals.
    • For accounts of 13 to 15-year-olds, the profile is private by default – only confirmed contacts can see or comment on content.

    To set up “Accompanied mode”

    According to the terms of use, TikTok is permitted from the age of 13. Parental consent is required for children under the age of 16.

    Tip: Children can also view TikTok in the browser without an account – so they can get started carefully without posting or commenting on content themselves.

    Proceed as follows if you want to activate Accompanied mode:

    1. Install the TikTok app on your child’s smartphone and your own.
    2. Open the app on your device, go to the settings and select “Accompanied mode” or “Family pairing”.
    3. Scan the displayed QR code with your child’s device to connect both accounts.
    4. Make the desired settings together.

    You can adjust these settings

    • Daily screen time: Select 40, 60, 90 or 120 minutes – individually for each day. A code must be entered after expiry.
    • Restricted mode: TikTok automatically filters content that is not age-appropriate. Terms or hashtags can also be blocked manually.
    • Direct messages: Only friends are allowed to send messages – or you can deactivate the function completely.
    • Rest periods: Reminders for breaks and a bedtime mode ensure app-free times (e.g. from 9 pm). An individual schedule can be created
    • Notifications: Push notifications can be limited in time to create less distraction (e.g. at night or during school hours).

    What else parents should consider

    Make sure that your child gives the correct date of birth when registering. Only then will age-appropriate protective measures take effect. Check the data protection settings together and explain why a private account makes sense. Older teenagers should also consider whether they want to show their content publicly.

    As a parent, you cannot directly track which videos your child is watching or who they are writing to. Messages or comments are not visible to you – so your child’s privacy is protected as far as possible. This makes mutual trust and the question: Can your child already use media consciously and safely?

    Make sure you regularly discuss together whether the settings you have made are still suitable or should be adjusted. Don’t make decisions over your child’s head, but together with them. This will encourage understanding and personal responsibility. Also explain which aspects of the app you view critically and which rules apply to its use in your family.

    Keep the conversation going: Ask what ‘s hot on TikTok at the moment, what your child is interested in or which influencers they find exciting. This way you stay close – and your child feels taken seriously.

    Remember: TikTok collects data about usage behavior. Talk to your child about how personalized content, advertising and in-app purchases work – and consider together which data protection settings make sense.

    You can find more information about TikTok here.

    Dealing with “fake news”, disinformation and false reports on the internet

    Whether in social media feeds, messengers or podcasts – we are flooded with countless messages, reports and stories online every day. Sometimes it is not so easy to distinguish between truth and deception. Teaching children and young people how to recognize false information on the internet is a real challenge. This article offers practical advice on this and explains how you can talk to your child about it.

    Fake news, disinformation and false reports – the difference

    • False reports are mistakes in news that happen unintentionally. Internet users can also inadvertently publish misinformation. They are often corrected later.
    • Disinformation means that false information is deliberately spread in order to manipulate and mislead people.
    • “Fake news” is a colloquial term for disinformation and refers to deliberately falsified news. It is also used politically to devalue unpopular opinions or traditional media and sow doubt.

    Why is “fake news” dangerous?

    Fake news spreads particularly quickly in uncertain times. We humans are already unsettled and even experts and politicians don’t have all the answers – such as during the coronavirus crisis or wars. “Fake news” deliberately spreads rumors or even hateful reports that are intended to stir up fears and deliberately deceive us. They often offer simple explanations and can give the feeling of security. But they are not true.

    These fake news items are often so cleverly crafted that they appear to be legitimate news at first glance. People who believe “fake news” share it further, so that more and more people fall for it. The problem with this is that the more often such content is clicked on, the more often it is displayed – and the more people believe it to be true. This can be problematic, especially when it comes to political posts with an extremist or populist background or when conspiracy myths are spread.

    Content that can unsettle or frighten younger children in particular is also problematic. Deep fake videos in particular look deceptively real. It is therefore important to understand that not all information on the Internet is true and to know the differences between disinformation, false reports and satire.

    How you can check messages

    Recognizing whether it is actually disinformation or false reports can be a tricky task. Therefore, it is helpful to follow clear steps to curb the spread of disinformation:

    Source verification

    Check where the message came from and who wrote it. Are the authors well-known and experts on the topic? Is it a reputable website?

    Fact check

    Try to verify the message with different sources. Ask yourself how up-to-date the information is and check where the figures and data mentioned come from as well as the context in which they were collected.

    Checking the message form

    Pay attention to the way the message is presented. Is the language serious and factual, or is emotional language and excessive capitalization used? Does the article contain catchwords such as “lying press” or similar provocative terms? Could the article be meant satirically?

    Verify evidence

    Make sure photos and videos match the message and are up-to-date. Pay attention to captions and whether they actually represent what is being described or are from another context.

    Joint fact check

    Discuss news and messages together as a family. Your child should understand that not everything on the internet can be sent via WhatsApp or comes from an AI chatbot has to be true. If you check messages together, it can gradually learn to distinguish true from false. Ask for your child’s opinion and share your own thoughts. This way, you and your child can be safer and better prepared to recognize and counteract false information on the Internet.

    More tips

    Here are some tips on where you can check messages and how you and your child can learn how to use them in a fun way:

    Protection of minors online – The role of the German Association for Voluntary Self-Regulation of Digital Media Service Providers (FSM)

    Children and young people are growing up in a digital world in which they come into contact with online media on a daily basis. Clear rules and effective protective measures are essential to enable them to use the internet safely. The German Association for Voluntary Self-Regulation of Digital Media Service Providers (FSM e.V.) plays a central role here. We explain how the FSM shapes youth media protection and why it is so important for parents.

    Who is the FSM?

    The FSM is a self-regulatory body recognized by the Commission for the Protection of Minors in the Media (KJM) in the area of youth media protection. It is committed to protecting children and young people from online content that is harmful to minors and supports digital media providers in the implementation of youth protection measures. It works closely with many other institutions in the field – in Germany and internationally.

    Tasks of the FSM

    The FSM pursues the goal of ensuring effective youth media protection in digital offerings. Its main tasks:

    • Complaints office for problematic content: Users can use the FSM complaints office to report online content that is prohibited by law or harmful to minors. This includes, for example, violent, pornographic or extremist content. The FSM examines each complaint individually and takes action in the event of violations – either by cooperating with the providers concerned or by forwarding them to the authorities. The report can be submitted via an online complaint form on the FSM website.
    • Self-regulation and age classification: As a recognized self-regulator under the Interstate Treaty on the Protection of Minors in the Media (JMStV), the FSM supports companies in making their content suitable for young people. This includes, for example, the age rating of content, the development of technical youth protection solutions (e.g. youth protection programs such as JusProg) and advice on legal requirements. Digital platforms and media providers that join the FSM benefit from the opportunity to have their own protection measures tested and certified by the FSM.
    • Media education and information: The FSM is committed to media education in order to inform parents, teachers and children about risks on the internet. It provides practical materials, organizes events and cooperates with initiatives such as klicksafe and fragFINN. One example is our Elternguide.online project, which offers special guides and tools for parents.

    The FSM in the system of youth media protection

    The FSM is part of the system of regulated self-regulation in Germany. It works closely with other self-regulatory bodies such as the USK (Entertainment Software Self-Regulation), the FSK (Voluntary Self-Regulation of the Film Industry) and the FSF (Voluntary Self-Regulation of Television). In this way, the self-regulatory bodies promote cooperation between companies, authorities and politicians for the effective protection of minors in the media.

    Challenges in the digital protection of minors

    The digital protection of minors is a dynamic field that constantly presents new challenges:

    • New technologies: The FSM has to deal with developments such as artificial intelligence (e.g. deep fakes) or new online platforms. New media phenomena require new approaches to the protection of minors.
    • Limits of self-regulation: The FSM reaches its limits when it comes to content on foreign servers. It works closely with international partners in the fight against online abuse.

    Why is the FSM important for parents?

    It is often difficult for parents to assess what content on the Internet is suitable for their children. The FSM offers support to ensure that youth media protection reaches families:

    • Parental control programs: These help parents to restrict access to unsuitable content.
    • Information services: Projects such as Elternguide.online offer practical and valuable tips on safe media use.
    • Complaint options: Parents can report problematic content directly.

    More information is available directly on the FSM website: www.fsm.de

    Computer games against extremism

    Computer games offer children and young people lots of entertainment, enable social contact and can even help with learning. However, there are also dangers in virtual worlds, such as disinformation and extremist speech. At the same time, games also offer opportunities to live a culture of remembrance, teach democratic values and counter extremism. In this article, you will find out what you should look out for as a parent and how you can use computer games sensibly.

    How extremism can occur in games

    Many online games thrive on interactivity and exchange with other players. As in other social spaces, there are also challenges here. Extremist groups also use games and gaming communities specifically to influence young people. This can happen in different ways:

    • Hidden messages: Extremist ideologies can be conveyed through certain symbols, language or narratives in games.
    • Targeted speeches: Extremists are looking for communication platforms for gamers such as Discord to specifically target young people in order to manipulate them.
    • Special games with radical content: There are games that have been specifically developed to spread extremist ideologies and indoctrinate children and young people.

    You can read more about extremism in online games in this parents’ guide article.

    Protection through age ratings

    The Entertainment Software Self-Regulation Body(USK) tests games and assigns age ratings. Among other things, attention is paid to how extremist symbols are handled. Unconstitutional symbols such as swastikas are prohibited under the German Criminal Code. They may only be shown under certain conditions, e.g. in a critical examination of history. During the review, the USK pays attention to the relationship between good and evil in the game, the historical context and the classification of the events and whether extremist symbols are only used decoratively or critically reflected.

    Culture of remembrance and games

    Games can be a valuable means of bringing history to life and sensitizing young people to the dangers of extremist ideologies. Serious games in particular – i.e. games with an educational mission – can contribute to this. They impart knowledge and actively involve players in solving problems. In serious games, players are very involved, find themselves in the middle of the story and have to act as those affected. This teaches them about the risks of extremism and what has threatened people in the past.

    Examples of such serious games are

    • Traces on paper: The game focuses on the Nazi murders of the sick and invites you to confront this dark chapter of history.
    • Through the Darkest of Times: Here, players are transported back to the time of National Socialism and experience how resistance was put up.
    • The Children of Bullenhuser Damm: The game tells the story of children on whom medical experiments were carried out during the Third Reich.

    Such games tell history interactively and promote an understanding of historical contexts. You can find a database of remembrance culture games on the website of the Digital Games Culture Foundation

    Preventing extremism through gaming

    Not only specially developed educational games, but also well-known entertainment games can be used to critically scrutinize extremist content. So-called “serious gaming” means that games that were not originally intended for this purpose are used for educational purposes. One example is Call of Duty: WWII, where the crimes of the Nazis are realistically depicted in one chapter.

    There are also games that deal with radicalization, for example:

    • Hidden CodesThe game shows how extremist groups appeal to young people and what strategies they use.
    • Tell Me Why: The game addresses identity issues and promotes empathy for discriminated groups.

    So-called “cozy games”, such as Stardew Valley or Venba, do not deal with the topic, but offer relaxed gaming experiences in positive, supportive worlds and can help young players to develop a healthy world view.

    What parents can do

    As a parent, you have an important role to play when it comes to guiding your child in their use of games and protecting them from extremist content. Here are some tips:

    • Find out about the games your child uses. Ask what your child experiences in the games and show an open interest.
    • Play along! Playing together strengthens the relationship and gives you an insight into the content.
    • The USK checks whether extremist symbols are used in games in an appropriate and justifiable context. Observe the USK age rating and the additional information such as pressure to act, violence, frightening moments. Observe how your child deals with this.
    • Educate your child about disinformation and practise with your child how to deal critically with information.
    • Use technical protective measures. For example, restrict contact options and explain to your child how they can block contacts and report suspicious content.
    • Pay attention to which online communities your child is active in. Extremists use social networks and gaming platforms to influence young people.

    If you find your child’s behaviour conspicuous or are worried about your child, contact advice centres for parents and young people and find out more about radicalization on the internet on platforms such as ZEBRA. You can find out more about preventing extremism in the gaming sector in the Amadeu Antonio Foundation’s brochure “Gaming against right-wing extremism”.

    Reading in the age of social media

    Books and TikTok – how do they go together? Young people show that it can be done. TikTok has long been more than just a platform for dance videos: Many use it to find out about current trends – including popular books. There is also an active book community on YouTube and Instagram that discusses reading.

    From bookfluencers and booktokers

    Reading books seems to be losing importance in the age of social media. But the Booktok trend proves the opposite: digital and analog media are not mutually exclusive!

    The term Booktok is made up of “Book” and “TikTok“. Under the hashtag #booktok, users share book tips in creative short videos – far removed from dry literature reviews. The content is entertaining and visually appealing, inspiring young people to read. Genres such as romance, fantasy, crime/thriller, young adult and dark romance are particularly popular.

    Dark romance is a particularly popular genre in romance literature. The stories are often intense, dramatic and often deal with dark or taboo subjects. Parents should be vigilant: it is often about power imbalances, toxic dependencies or psychological manipulation in relationships. An open discussion helps young people to critically question problematic depictions.

    Publishers and bookshops have also recognized the trend. They often present their own “BookTok” tables with the most popular titles in bookshops. Bestsellers are no longer created solely through classic reviews, but through viral TikTok trends.

    Bookstagram and BookTube: Reading on Instagram and YouTube

    In addition to TikTok, there is also the book community “Bookstagram” on Instagram. Here, readers share aesthetic images of their current reads, write reviews and organize reading rounds. Compared to TikTok, books are discussed more intensively here. Real book recommendations and new reading circles are created in the comments.

    YouTube also has a fixed point of contact for bookworms with “BookTube”. There are detailed book reviews, reading months and so-called TBR (To Be Read) lists in which users present their planned reading.

    Apps as reading motivation

    Certain apps make reading more exciting – and sometimes even a challenge. They help you to track your own reading behavior and set reading goals. These include

    • GoodReads: A worldwide platform for book reviews and recommendations.
    • Read-O: Gamifies reading and rewards users for completing books.
    • Bookstats: Provides detailed statistics about your own reading behavior.
    • Booksup: Enables exchange with other readers in a social media environment.

    Many of these apps offer the option of writing reviews and networking with others. Before using them, however, you should check the data protection guidelines to see what data is collected and passed on.

    What parents should pay attention

    Even though social media encourages reading, parents should keep a few things in mind:

    • Advertising versus honest recommendations: Many influencers receive books free of charge or are paid to promote certain titles. Not all reviews are objective. Discuss with your child how they can tell the difference between advertising and genuine recommendations.
    • Cost trap book purchases: Hype can quickly lead to spontaneous book purchases. Clarify with your child which books are really wanted and which can be borrowed.
    • Data protection and privacy: Many reading apps and social media platforms collect personal data. Check the data protection settings together with your child and consider what information really needs to be disclosed. Children have a right to protection of their data!
    • Dealing critically with content: Especially with genres such as dark romance, it is important to talk to young people about problematic relationship patterns and to develop a reflective view of the stories. Remain open and appreciative: ask your child, “What fascinates you about the story?” or “What do you think of the characters’ behavior?”. In this way, you encourage a reflective view, help to differentiate between fiction and reality and support your child in critically questioning problematic depictions – without curbing their passion for reading.

    Look together with your child to see which books are really exciting. Libraries or digital services such as Onleihe offer many options – without having to buy expensive books.

    Coding for kids – learning to program is fun!

    Apps, remote-controlled cars, vending machines – in our increasingly digital world, programming skills are a valuable skill. Age-appropriate apps and programs introduce children to coding in a playful way and encourage creativity, logical thinking and problem-solving skills.

    Why is coding useful for children?

    • Creativity and problem solving: Children learn to turn ideas into digital projects.
    • Logical thinking: You understand how processes need to be structured.
    • Safe handling: Programming skills help to better understand digital technologies and use them responsibly.

    Our recommendations

    ScratchScratch is an image-oriented, visual programming language and an online platform developed by the MIT Media Lab especially for children and young people aged 8 to 16. Children can use it to learn programming step by step in a fun way. With a simple drag-and-drop interface, they can create their own animations, games and interactive stories. The software is extremely appealing and gives your child the opportunity to create their own worlds. There is also a large online community where your child can share coding projects and be inspired by others. There is also an app version that can be used offline.

    ScratchJrFor younger children (aged 5+) there is ScratchJr, which offers simple visual programming for first coding experiences. The app allows your child to create their own interactive stories and games by stringing together graphical program blocks to move characters and create actions such as jumping, dancing and singing. You can customize the characters and add your own voices and sounds. ScratchJr is easy to use and has a child-friendly design.

    OctoStudioOctoStudio is an intuitive, block-based programming language that allows users to create interactive animations and games directly on their smartphone or tablet. The app was developed by the Lifelong Kindergarten Group of the MIT Media Lab and makes it possible to take photos and sounds and bring them to life with programming blocks. The use of device sensors is particularly noteworthy: projects can be controlled interactively by shaking, tilting or jumping. OctoStudio is ad-free, contains no in-app purchases and does not collect any user data. The app is available in more than 20 languages, including German, and can be downloaded free of charge from the Google Play Store and the Apple App Store.

    Programming with the mouseThis website is aimed at children aged 8 and over and teaches programming basics in a fun way, inspired by “Die Sendung mit der Maus”. The popular TV character from the show awakens an interest in coding and accompanies your child through the program. The web application uses Scratch as a basis, but does not allow you to publish your own projects. “Programming with the Mouse” focuses on entertaining games and activities to impart knowledge in an appealing way. The platform offers structured instructions that guide children step by step through the world of programming. Successfully solving tasks boosts children’s self-confidence and is fun. The website promotes creative learning and makes programming accessible to children.

    Ronja’s robotRonja’s Robot is an app for iOS and Android, developed by the Kinder Forschen foundation. It introduces children aged 6 to 12 to programming and robotics in a playful way. The app consists of two clever games: “Roberta rast”, in which your child learns programming concepts, and “Speak like Roberta”, which teaches the computer language binary code (from 1 and 0). For more advanced children, the graphical programming language OPEN Roberta offers the opportunity to delve deeper into the world of programming. Creative thinking is encouraged and your child can come up with their own solutions to tricky challenges. Your child can earn badges and rewards in the game and create coding projects together with other children as a team.

    Programming until it gets dark – what should parents bear in mind?

    Your child may forget the time when programming. Set rules for screen time together with your child. Make sure your child socializes and spends time outdoors. There may also be occasional frustration when challenges arise. Support your child, encourage them – and learn something new yourself. There are also school and leisure activities where children can learn the programs. Use the fragFINN search engine for children to find offers in your area.

    Rules for media use in the family

    “Just one more round!” or “Leon can watch TV much longer!” – Many parents are familiar with phrases like these. But how much media time is actually okay? Which media is suitable for my child? And at what age does it make sense for them to have their own smartphone? Fixed rules can help to find answers to these questions. However, they can also lead to conflicts. We have a few tips and background information on setting media rules in the family.

    Why are rules important?

    Rules are not there to enforce the will of parents, but to provide structure and guidance. They help to promote your child’s media skills and reduce the risk of problems caused by inappropriate use of media. As parents, you have the responsibility to combine the fun of media with a conscious approach. You are often better at assessing dangers than your child.

    It is important that your child understands the rules and can follow them. It is best to develop the rules together with your child. This will make your child realize that their opinion counts and it will be easier for them to accept the rules. Explain to your child why certain rules are important and why they should be followed. If rules are not clearly formulated or are interpreted differently, your child will find it difficult to follow them. Another crucial point is that you as parents are role models – this means that you should follow the same rules yourself.

    How should rules be designed?

    Which rules make sense depends on the age of your child and on how you and your child generally deal with media. This is not the same in every family.

    The younger your child is, the more you should keep an eye on his or her media use. Young children need close supervision and should not spend too much time with media. Choose age-appropriate content, limit the duration of use and decide on suitable devices. Even if your child is still small, you can explain to them why certain content or times are chosen. Depending on their stage of development, children of kindergarten age can also be involved in simple decisions. From elementary school age, your child gets many new impressions and influences. They still need a lot of guidance, which is why clear, jointly developed rules are very important. You can now better talk to your child about content and let him or her have a say. This way, your child feels taken seriously and learns to take responsibility. From secondary school and adolescence onwards, you should trust your child to be more independent and support them in using media in an increasingly self-determined and self-regulated way. Young people usually approach digital media openly, but they are often not yet able to properly assess the risks. That’s why you are still important as a guide and contact person!

    The following applies to all age groups: media usage rules must be sensible and flexible.

    Setting rules together

    To help your child understand how to use media, it makes sense to draw up the rules together – for example in the form of a media usage contract. Such a contract makes the rules transparent and comprehensible for everyone. Exceptions can also be formulated. If your child can help shape the rules themselves, it will be easier for them to stick to them. Check regularly whether the rules still make sense or need to be adjusted if necessary.

    Just as important as media-related rules are “media-free” rules – such as not using smartphones during a family meal or conversation. Such rules promote interpersonal communication and strengthen the family bond.

    Media time and media-free time

    A frequent topic is the question: How much media time is healthy? When is it too much? The answer depends very much on the age and individual needs of your child. The rule of thumb is: the younger, the less!

    One approach to regulating media time in everyday life is the use of media vouchers. These can help children of primary school age and above to independently allocate a weekly budget of media time. This gives your child responsibility for their media use without you having to constantly intervene.

    It is important that your child has a varied daily routine, uses media in different ways, but also has media-free experiences.

    Media content and device selection

    Not only the use of media, but also the choice of content should be part of the family rules. Make sure that media content is age-appropriate and corresponds to your child’s interests. In addition to television and apps, media consumption also includes radio plays, books and music. It makes sense to include these in the rules as well.

    Take into account that the content of media use varies greatly, as do the motives and needs of use. A game for mere entertainment may be weighted differently than learning with media. Discuss qualitative differences with your child. Be sure to include age-appropriate content as well.

    The question of the right age for the first smartphone concerns many parents. If necessary, talk to the parents of your child’s friends and consider whether certain rules can apply to everyone.

    Security settings and technical support

    Another important topic is the security settings for devices and apps. Many smartphones and tablets now offer the option of controlling access to certain content and limiting its use. These should always be discussed with your child. Settings such as screen time limits, age ratings and app filters can help to control media use.

    However, these technical aids are no substitute for parental guidance. They should also not be used purely for control. Your child needs trust and the opportunity to gradually take responsibility for their own media use. Explanations from you and conversations about media make a significant contribution to your child learning how to use media competently.

    Rules may vary depending on the child’s age and stage of development. On the one hand, stay consistent, otherwise they will not serve their purpose. At the same time, if possible, do not use the rules as a punishment or reward.

    Cyberbullying

    Disputes are part of child development. Children and young people learn how to deal with conflicts and find solutions. However, digital media can lead to arguments getting worse. Cyberbullying is affecting more and more children and young people. This makes it all the more important to raise your child’s awareness of respectful online behavior and to help them deal with online conflicts. In this article, we explain what you can do as a parent.

    What is cyberbullying?

    Cyberbullying means that people are insulted, exposed or threatened online, for example via apps such as TikTok, Snapchat, WhatsApp or Instagram.

    There are different roles: the victims, the active bullies, but also the silent bystanders and assistants who join in. Many children and young people take on several of these roles, sometimes without realizing it. Cyberbullying can take many forms:

    • Insults or threats in messages or comments
    • Exclusion from groups or chats
    • Spreading rumors or private information
    • Embarrassing photos or videos shared without consent
    • Identity theft and fake profiles
    • Use of artificial intelligence (AI) to create fake images or videos, so-called deepfakes

    As digital content can be stored and redistributed, a single post can have long-term effects. Attackers can often hide behind their anonymity.

    Why does cyberbullying occur?

    There are many reasons why children and young people bully others:

    • Boredom or the desire to make a name for yourself
    • Peer pressure and the need to belong
    • Revenge or the feeling of having to defend yourself
    • Lack of awareness of the consequences
    • The feeling of being braver online than in real life

    New technologies such as deepfake software have exacerbated cyberbullying. Young people sometimes use them out of curiosity or to deliberately expose others.

    The consequences of cyberbullying

    Bullying has been around since before the invention of the internet. But whereas in the past a child could come home after school and switch off, today children and young people are constantly connected to each other. Conflicts from school continue in class chats or on social media platforms. This is why cyberbullying can have serious consequences. Children who are bullied online often feel helpless and abandoned. In the long term, it can lead to anxiety, sleep disorders, depressive moods or even suicidal thoughts. Statistics show that almost half of young people have already experienced cyberbullying. According to the JIM Study 2024, 11% of young people have experienced cyberbullying directly in the last month.

    What can parents do?

    When children and young people communicate with each other, there are always times when insults are used. This does not have to be bullying, but is often just a joke. They use it to test how far they can go. However, this limit is different for every child.

    Parents can do a lot to ensure that their child communicates respectfully and is safer online:

    • Have open conversations: Regularly ask what your child is doing on the Internet, who they are in contact with and what experiences they are having there.
    • Encourage empathy: Explain to your child that insults are also hurtful on the Internet and that there are limits.
    • Use safety functions: Use the parental control settings in devices and apps and explain to your child how they can block or report people.
    • Set limits: Younger children in particular should only be allowed to communicate online with a limited number of people. Set up the smartphone more securely together with your child and adjust the settings to your child’s level of development.
    • Take changes in behavior seriously: If your child withdraws, seems sad or tense, this may be a sign of cyberbullying.

    Good prevention starts early. Parents should talk to their children about how to use the internet competently before they become active on social media. For primary school children, there are programs such as the learning offer Genial digital run by the Deutsches Kinderhilfswerk, which teach media skills in a fun way. The cyberbullying first aid app from klicksafe helps young people to deal with conflicts online.

    Schools can also help by setting clear rules against (online) bullying and providing information. Parents can, for example, encourage teachers to integrate digital learning modules or videos from the Wake Up Initiative, including those from the FSM, into lessons.

    What should I do if my child is affected?

    If your child is affected by cyberbullying, you should remain calm and make it clear to them that it is not their fault. You can then take the following steps together:

    1. Preserve evidence: Take screenshots of the offending content (except for illegal content such as hardcore pornography).
    2. Report bullying on the platform: Social media apps have reporting functions to remove offensive content. Complaints offices can also be contacted.
    3. Talk to the school: If the bullying comes from classmates, the school can help.
    4. Seek external help: Many counseling platforms such as Nummer gegen Kummer or Juuuport offer anonymous counseling for children, young people and parents.
    5. Take legal action in an emergency: Threats, defamation or identity theft may be punishable by law. If necessary, a report can be made to the police. You can find help online, for example at the online police watchdogs and Hate Aid.

    Cyberbullying is a serious challenge for children and young people. However, parents can do a lot to empower their children, educate them and stand by them when problems arise. Make use of the support services, stay in contact with your child and advocate for a safe and respectful online world.

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