Instagram, WhatsApp, YouTube or TikTok – the internet is not a legal vacuum. Anyone who uses social networks or messengers should know the basic rules. This applies to adults as well as children and young people. As a parent, you can help your child to use photos, videos, texts and personal data responsibly. And also set a good example yourself.
From the very first steps online, it is important to introduce children to Instagram and how to handle personal data. Vivid comparisons help: Does your child not want personal details or secrets to be shared in class? The same applies online.
Advise your child to check whether the information is really necessary before sharing it. This includes name, telephone number, address, date of birth, photos, videos, messenger IDs, location data or passwords. Personal data of others may also only be shared with their consent.
Also take a look at app permissions together. Not every app needs access to location, contacts, microphone or camera. Check the settings when you first start the device and regularly after updates.
Parents should also reflect on their own online behavior. Sharing children’s photos or information (“sharenting”) can have long-term consequences, for example through AI-generated deepfakes. Children have a right to privacy, even from their parents.
On platforms such as YouTube, TikTok or Instagram, there is a lot of content that has been uploaded but not created by the user. This includes music, films, series, texts, images, graphics and computer games. These works are protected by copyright and may only be shared publicly with the consent of the copyright holder.
It becomes problematic, for example, if a dance video with a protected music title is uploaded or a picture of a well-known sportswoman is used as a profile picture. Screenshots, memes or short video clips can also be relevant under copyright law. Infringements can result in fines of up to 500,000 euros or account suspensions.
There is content with free licenses, for example under Creative Commons(CC) licenses, which may be used and shared depending on the license. The name, license link and changes must be specified. In addition, photos and videos are now often edited with filters or AI tools. Rights and personal rights remain intact; an image does not automatically become “free to use” just because it has been technically modified.
The right to one’s own image is part of personal rights and applies to all people, including children. Photos or videos may only be published or passed on if the person depicted has given their consent. In the case of underage children, the parents generally decide. However, as they get older, children should be involved in an age-appropriate manner and be able to participate in decision-making. This applies to public posts as well as messenger messages.
This is often underestimated, especially in class or group chats. Screenshots or forwarding without consent are legally problematic, even if they are only shared with friends. As children get older, they should decide for themselves what content to share. Agree clear rules with family and friends and check the privacy settings of the apps. Messengers are not a legal vacuum.
In recent years, platforms have been more heavily regulated, for example by the Digital Services Act (DSA, fully implemented since 2024) or the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). Providers must take risks for minors into account: no personalized advertising, age-appropriate algorithms, rapid reporting of harmful content and uniform complaints procedures.
Nevertheless, responsibility remains in everyday family life. Instagram, privacy settings and a conscious approach to content cannot be completely outsourced to platforms. Many conflicts do not arise from bad intentions, but from ignorance, peer pressure or insecurity.
Many children are enthusiastic about cartoons. The great thing is: it doesn’t take much to make your own at home! Smartphone or tablet, construction paper and pens – and the children’s room becomes a movie studio.
Many animated films are based on the stop-motion technique. Similar to flip-books, many individual images, which only differ in detail, are shown in quick succession. This sets the images in motion. The opening and closing credits of “The Sandman” and the stories of “Shaun the Sheep”, for example, are produced using this technique.
Does your child like to draw or do handicrafts – or does he or she prefer to play with Duplo and Lego? Such things can also be used wonderfully for the production of your own first movie. Then you’re ready to go! Let’s go!
Every movie needs a good story with a suspenseful arc. Come up with a short plot together with your child. The story should be simple and quick to tell and have a manageable number of characters. Write down the story so that you can keep track of it later when shooting.
You can use a smartphone or tablet with a suitable app for filming. We recommend Stop Motion Studio (Android and iOS; basic version free of charge), InShot (Android and iOS, basic version free of charge) or iStop Motion (iOS; free of charge). The app can be used to take the photos one after the other and automatically create the movie.
You can create animated films in different ways:
You can find more ideas and instructions for different types of animated films in this article from Filmothek NRW.
Prepare the filming location well. An
A little patience is required when shooting a film, as many photos are needed for a short animated film. The rule of thumb is about eight pictures per second of film. Only change one small thing between the photos. For example, if a Lego figure is waving, move the arm a little further up from picture to picture. You can also make other figures or objects move at the same time.
It works best in a team: one family member takes the photos, another moves the figures. One person keeps an overview: they announce what happens next and make sure that everything is correct. Check the photos regularly directly on the display. And feel free to swap roles from time to time!
Post-production follows the film shoot. Here you can add titles, texts, sounds, music and effects in the app and bring the movie to life. You can find tips on using royalty-free music here at kindersache.de. You can also delete or move images and adjust the display duration of individual images. If you want the characters to speak, you can record the dialog afterwards with distributed roles.
What’s a movie without a premiere? You can also celebrate this with your children – with soda and popcorn in a darkened room. Maybe grandma and grandpa or the neighbor’s kids will be invited. In addition, a publication on a children’s platform such as JUKI on Kindersache is conceivable, but the
And now: have fun trying it out!
Learning new things and doing homework with chatbots, playing music via voice command on smart speakers, and receiving content recommendations tailored to personal tastes—artificial intelligence (AI) is an integral part of our everyday lives. Children and young people in particular use AI tools as a matter of course, but not always consciously. AI technologies are developing rapidly and continuously. It is not easy for parents to keep track of everything: Which applications are particularly popular with young people? What opportunities, challenges, and risks arise from their use?
At the parents’ evening, we will introduce you to the most popular AI applications and look at their significance in the everyday media lives of adolescents. One focus will be on the risks for children and young people when communicating with chatbots, e.g., disinformation, inappropriate or problematic responses, and when interpersonal relationships are replaced.
Join us live, get practical tips on how to introduce your child to the safe and responsible use of (generative) AI, and ask our experts your questions—we will provide answers and are available for discussion!
The virtual parents’ evening is an event held as part of Safer Internet Day 2026 – you can find out more about the campaign day at klicksafe.
Date: February 11, 2026 | Time: 5:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.
Procedure: (Media education) input (approx. 40 minutes) followed by an open discussion
Speakers: Lidia de Reese und Nils Rudolf (FSM)
Moderation: FSM e.V.
Platform: The virtual parents’ evening is realized via the “Zoom” tool.
Privacy Notice: Zoom is a service of Zoom Video Communications Inc. which is based in the USA. We use Zoom via the German operator WTG. The WTG server is located in Europe. Furthermore, within the Zoom service we have chosen the configurations with the highest data and security protection.
Please also take note of our privacy policy.
Registration:
Children and young people encounter AI in many places today: Chatbots answer questions for homework, voice assistants help in everyday life, creative apps generate images, music or short stories. This can be exciting, inspiring and confusing at the same time. Many parents therefore ask themselves: How do I guide my child so that they use AI curiously, safely and critically without being overwhelmed? Don’t worry: you don’t have to be an AI expert to accompany your child safely.
Artificial intelligence is often surprisingly clever. It responds quickly, friendly and sometimes more convincingly than adults. However, children should understand: AI does not “know” anything. It merely calculates which answers are likely to seem correct. And that is precisely why it can make mistakes, adopt prejudices or invent content.
Many AI applications also save the data entered. Depending on the tool, more or less information can be collected. Children should therefore learn early on to handle personal information with care. It should also be clear that AI is no substitute for personal advice, teachers or parents.
The younger children are, the more guidance they need when dealing with AI. For primary school children in particular, it is important to try things out together, ask questions and scrutinize results.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
The smell of cookies, shopping stress, shining children’s eyes: the holidays are approaching and digital devices and games are on the wish lists of many children and young people. What should parents consider before and after giving a gift? Between the years and during the vacations, there is also time for shared family media experiences. How can this be designed in a safe, age-appropriate and even creative way? In this article, we give you an overview of offers from the Elternguide.online partner network.
The Christmas vacations can be long, especially when the weather outside doesn’t really invite you to play. If you have devices such as smartphones, tablets, cameras or a laptop at home – how about you and your child just get started? You can take photos or film together, try out new creative apps and actively organize media time. It’s great fun and your child will also learn something about media skills along the way.
On the website kinder.jff.de there are suggestions for simple media projects that children aged 3 and over can do at home with the support of you as parents. This is helped by child-friendly video instructions in which the implementation of the media projects is shown step by step. How about a photo memory with Christmas tree decorations or an audio story about Christmas traditions?
knipsclub offers a safe environment for young photo fans between the ages of 8 and 12 to try out their skills in a closed and pedagogically supervised photo community and exchange photos with each other. On the website you will find creative photo tips, for example on
You are probably familiar with challenges from social media, e.g. dance challenges on TikTok. Children and young people love to take on challenges. Challenges don’t necessarily only have to take place on the Internet, you can also play them at home with your family! Why not try out the top photo challenge, the clip challenge or the re-enactment challenge? We have made a few suggestions in our parents’ guide article. You can find more Advent challenges on the website of the JFF project webhelm.de.
Children have many questions and learn early on that their questions will be answered on the Internet. How is Christmas celebrated in other countries? What craft tips and baking recipes are there for Christmas? The children’s search engine fragFINN offers children access to around 3,400 verified websites, including almost 400 children’s sites. Primary school children can gain their first Internet experience here in a protected surfing room and learn how to use search engines and search results. In the fragFINN Advent calendar, children can open a little door every day, behind which are links to other children’s sites with a wide range of information and offers suitable for the winter season. You can find more playful learning pages in this parents’ guide article.
Your child probably also likes watching videos and going to the movies. A TV evening together can be a really nice family experience. Pay attention to the FSK age rating to protect your child from unsuitable content. But be careful: FSK ratings are
Parents must decide individually when their child is ready for their first smartphone, depending on their level of development and experience. After all, a smartphone theoretically opens up the whole world of the Internet to your child, with all its opportunities and risks. klicksafe offers comprehensive information for parents. Use the smartphone readiness checklist to check whether a smartphone is ready to go under the Christmas tree. Has the decision been positive? Then find out about the technical setting options and set up your smartphone to be childproof. You can find all information material from klicksafe in this topic special.
Would you like to prepare your child for the first smartphone under the Christmas tree? Child-friendly information on the first smartphone is available in the children’s magazine Genial Digital from Deutsches Kinderhilfswerk. The fragFINN app gives your child a protected surfing space on their first smartphone and gives them access to quality, positive content.
Are you considering buying a smartwatch as an alternative? Then take a look at this topic from klicksafe. Please note: technical protective measures are no substitute for family discussions and media rules. Stay in contact with your child and accompany them as they take their first steps with a smartwatch or smartphone.
In addition to discussions and media rules, technical youth media protection is an important component of media education. Use the screen time and digital wellbeing settings on smartphones to set time limits for the entire device or for different apps and to filter content. The parental control program JusProg offers a precise filtering option for websites and safe default settings for mobile devices and laptops. Google Family Link and YouTube Kids offer the opportunity to make media experiences safer for your child in the world of the internet giant Google. Social media apps such as Instagram and TikTok also offer safety features and parental guidance options. Streaming with the family can be a fun activity during the vacations. Almost all streaming services have certified offers for the protection of minors. Use your own child profiles and the parental control function with the PIN. Many of the youth protection programs have been approved by the expert commission of the Voluntary Self-Regulation of Multimedia Service Providers (FSM). You can find out more about technical solutions for the protection of minors in the media on the FSM website.
Detailed instructions for all devices can be found on the website medien-kindersicher.de.
Which games should I give my child for Christmas? Are games okay for preschoolers? In the family section of the USK website and via the USK brochures, you will find all the information you need on the USK’s age ratings, the additional information and how to deal with the subject of games in the family.
The USK mark indicates the age at which a game does not cause any developmental impairments. The additional information such as “fantasy violence” or “pressure to act” gives parents a good indication of whether a game is suitable for their own child. Educational assessments of games can be found at the NRW games guide. Descriptions of popular games like Fortnite, Minecraft or Roblox are available on Elternguide.online. The USK lexicon explains the most important terms, devices and genres.
Would you like to make your child happy with a game for Christmas? Find out about the distribution channels for games and technical precautionary measures. Various settings for the protection of minors can be made on consoles as well as in game stores and the games themselves. Play together with your child and ask them interesting questions about their favorite games.
The team at Elternguide.online wishes you and your family a wonderful Christmas season and lots of fun using media safely and creatively!
Want to quickly watch a children’s series, a movie for the evening or the important soccer match? It’s all on Joyn. Joyn is a streaming platform like
Joyn is the German middle ground between traditional television and major streaming services. The service can be accessed via smartphone, tablet, PC or smart TV, via app or in the browser. Children and young people can find current TV shows, their
Joyn is particularly attractive for children and young people because the basic version is free of charge and can sometimes even be used without logging in. Many freely available live TV contents can be accessed directly in the browser. For additional functions – such as personalized recommendations or saving watchlists – registration with an email address is required.
If parents don’t want to or can’t subscribe to their own streaming service, Joyn is still easily accessible. The platform offers many shows and series that are currently being talked about in the school playground, including Big Brother, The Masked Singer and Germany’s Next Top Model.
Particularly appealing for young fans of the programs: Joyn offers opportunities to actively participate in the app. For example, viewers can vote on who advances to the next round in a show, take part in quiz formats or take part in competitions. This reinforces the feeling of being right in the middle of the action and motivates viewers to tune in regularly.
Anyone using Joyn will initially only be shown content that is approved for under 16s. The account must be verified with an ID number for everything that is approved from 16 or 18. However, this age verification does not offer complete protection. Parents can create a profile and secure it with a parental control PIN so that children can only play content that has been approved for ages 0, 6 or 12.
Important to know: Content that cannot be played remains visible. Preview images, titles or short descriptions can arouse children’s curiosity or draw their attention to topics that are
Joyn emphasizes that the protection of minors is an essential part of the platform and that all legal requirements are complied with. The parental control PIN cannot simply be deactivated and the provider provides detailed instructions on how to set up profiles for children. Age verification is carried out in compliance with data protection regulations and the data is only stored temporarily
Make clear agreements with your child about what can and cannot be watched. If possible, use the offer together – especially with younger children. Actively accompany your child, talk about the content and whether something may cause anxiety or unpleasant feelings. Set up a profile with a parental control PIN if your child is too young to view content from the age of 16 or 18. Make sure that content with a parental rating of 0, 6 and 12 years remains accessible to everyone. Talk to your child regularly about what
The JIM study (Youth, Information, Media) provides insights into the media use of young people (aged 12 to 19) in Germany. It is conducted annually by the Media Education Research Association Southwest. Here we summarize the most important results so that parents can better support their children.
Almost all young people (98%) own a smartphone that they use every day. On average, they spend around four hours a day on the device, with older young people spending over four and a half hours. It is not only the duration that is decisive, but also the type of content that young people consume. This usage time includes both school work and leisure activities. From the age of 16 in particular, many use their smartphone almost continuously. Even if they are aware of how important it is to take breaks, many find it difficult to regulate their use independently.
Social media platforms and messengers remain the most important channels for communicating, finding information and organizing everyday life.
For the first time, the 2025 study focuses on the topic of artificial intelligence (AI): 91% of young people use at least one AI tool.
Even younger teenagers use AI regularly. Parents should therefore
The study also shows that many young people have negative experiences: Around a quarter are aware of cases of bullying in their environment, while 9 percent have been affected themselves. The
In addition to this overview, we also recommend the miniKIM study on media use by young children and the KIM Study 2022 for younger children.
Further detailed information on the JIM Study 2025 can be found on the website of the Medienpädagogischer Forschungsverbund Südwest and at Handysektor.
What words did you use when you were younger – and what did your parents think? Think about it. It is perfectly normal that you sometimes do not understand your child because they use words that you do not know or use.
Our language is shaped by the adult world. Adolescents have a strong need to form their own identity, to become independent and to distinguish themselves from adults. This is also expressed in the so-called youth language with which they create their own world. With their own language, or at least their own terms, they create something of their own and typical of youth. This connects and creates self-confidence. Using the “outdated” slang of the parents would sound old-fashioned and uncool.
In each new generation, in certain youth scenes and even in different places, youth language changes and there are different words and expressions. Typically, young people speak more easily than adults. In doing so, they sometimes use unusual or unfamiliar terms. The language is less “correct” because young people speak more spontaneously. Instead, it transports much more feelings and moods.
Online communication also has a strong influence on how young people speak or write. In messenger chat, for example, emojis, GIFs, stickers and memes are used. The language is significantly abbreviated and often incorrect. Terms from the
Check out your knowledge around your child’s language. The following words will be particularly popular in 2025. At the end of the post you will find the resolution.
So there is no serious reason to worry if you sometimes do not understand your child. Respect the desire for boundaries and generally be understanding if your child uses different words than you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to let him tell you everything. Especially if the language is indecent, hurtful or offensive. Tell your child. Make it clear to them why they should not speak to others in the same way and, if necessary, agree on rules for dealing with each other. The use of youth language can also be problematic in online communication, for example in trash talk in online games or cyberbullying. Talk to your child about respectful behavior online. The same rules that apply offline for fair and respectful interaction should also be observed online: Fairness, openness and respect.
You are and will remain the adult from whom your child wishes to distinguish him or herself. Therefore, do not try to approach linguistically. This is more likely to be perceived by your child as an invasion of his or her privacy. Speak the way you always do. Nevertheless, you can occasionally enjoy your child’s imaginative word creations and ask if you don’t understand something!
Resolutions:
Whether dance trends, comedy or small everyday moments – TikTok inspires young people worldwide. The platform invites them to get creative, try out new things and get in touch with others. For many young people, it has long been more than just entertainment – it is part of their everyday lives.
TikTok combines social media and video app. Users choose from a library of well-known songs, audio or film quotes, film playback or create their own clips. The videos usually only last a few seconds to minutes, but clips of up to ten minutes are now also possible. Some videos trigger hype, are imitated or continued as challenges.
Public videos can be viewed via the browser, an account is required for your own uploads. TikTok offers many additional functions: Duets (filming together), stitches (sharing clips from others), live streams and the TikTok Shop. Companies and influencers also use the platform for advertising.
Young people appreciate TikTok for fun, sharing and self-presentation. The app is low-threshold: with effects, a music library and simple editing options, you can quickly create your own videos. Unlike Instagram or YouTube, it is less about perfection and more about creativity and everyday life. The videos appear authentic and TikTokers are often perceived as approachable role models.
TikTok motivates young users to realize their own ideas: Dance moves, comedy, experiments, tutorials or role-playing games. Many learn how to plan content, develop small storyboards and combine music with visual effects.
TikTok is continuously developing its security functions:
Despite these measures, the feed remains algorithm-controlled. Content can be filtered, e.g. videos from people with disabilities or those that are censored in individual countries. The app’s endless loops can also lead to heavy usage pressure.
Clarify motivation: Ask your child why they want to use TikTok – entertainment, creativity or sharing? Explain that likes, followers and comments can influence self-perception.
Step-by-step introduction: Start by exploring the app together via the browser, without an account. If you set it up together later, make sure you enter the year of birth correctly – this is the only way to ensure that the safety functions relevant to the protection of minors work. Check the settings step by step: privacy, comments, time limits.
Use security functions: Enable accompanied mode, private accounts, restricted comments and content filters. Deactivate livestreams, duets and stitches under the age of 16. The step-by-step instructions on medien-kindersicher.de will help you to set up all the important settings correctly.
Rules for private messagesDefine together who is allowed to send DMs or voice messages. Deactivate this function completely if required. Only allow group chats with known people.
Protect your privacyExplain never to share personal data such as name, school or address. Show how faces can be covered with stickers or backgrounds. Point out possible biometric data collection through filters.
Time management and balance: Agree fixed screen times, plan breaks and encourage activities outside the app. Actively accompany your child instead of just controlling them.
Reflective approach to content: Discuss advertising, filters, influencers and trends. Show how content is reported or blocked. Use the restart function to critically scrutinize recommendations.
Encourage communication: Encourage your child to report cyberbullying or harassment. Practise reporting and blocking together. Talk about respectful commenting and digital empathy. More information can be found in TikTok’s guide for parents (in cooperation with the FSM).
Strengthen critical thinking: Explain how algorithms work, what opportunities there are to earn money and how content can have a manipulative effect. This teaches your child to examine information critically.
Accompany instead of monitor: occasionally watch videos together, reflect on the rules and adjust them if necessary. Trust is the most important basis.
Having their own tablet can be exciting for children: playing games, reading books, getting creative or using educational apps. However, many parents ask themselves: when is it worth giving them their own device – and when is the family tablet enough?
A shared tablet makes sense in the early years. Your child can try out content while you accompany, explain and restrict what they see and do. One family device is often enough to gain initial experience with apps, videos or games and to reflect on media use together.
It makes sense for your child to have their own tablet if they want to use media independently on a regular basis, pursue their own interests or use learning apps that require personal accounts. For children from around 6 to 7 years of age, having their own device can be useful if you clearly regulate and supervise their use.
It’s not age that matters, but your child’s maturity: Can they follow rules? Do you know how to surf the net safely? Can it reflect on content and distinguish between games, learning, and entertainment? Only when these skills are in place is it worthwhile to purchase your own device.
A tablet for children should be robust, intuitive to use and not too expensive. Simple devices with a sturdy casing and a child-friendly interface are good entry-level options. Check whether educational apps, audio books or creative tools are useful and whether in-app purchases and advertising can be deactivated.
Whether it’s a family device or your own, set usage times, content, and rules together. Parental Controls, family accounts, and youth protection apps help to control media use. Discuss together: How long should your child be allowed to use the tablet? What content is permitted?
Having your own tablet can promote digital independence if you provide guidance: explain functions, try out learning apps together, and talk critically about advertising, algorithms and content. This will teach your child to use media consciously and reflectively.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
It can happen that children or young people come across content online that depicts violence. When scrolling through social media, on video platforms or when such videos are shared in group chats in Messenger. This may involve fights, abuse, accidents or drastic images from war zones. Such content can frighten and disturb children or young people. It also violates the right to one’s own image of the person concerned and may even be punishable by law.
Under no circumstances should such content be redistributed. This prevents even more people from seeing the content. If the content is illegal, publishing and redistributing it can even have criminal consequences.
We can also encourage young people to do even more by not ignoring such content, but actively reporting it. Look together to see where the report function can be found on the platforms used, such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok or YouTube. According to the terms of use, violent and cruel content is not permitted and should be deleted. Messages or people can also be reported on WhatsApp.
The online advice platform for young people Juuuport even offers a separate reporting option for young people, e.g. for violent videos, extremism or hate speech. The internet complaints offices FSM, eco and jugendschutz.net then take care of these complaints.
Violence also plays a role in fictional media content, such as films, series or games. Content that is easy for older children, teenagers and adults to process can frighten young children. This is why there are age restrictions for depictions of violence in the media, which are regulated by the protection of minors in the media. The age labels of films or computer games show you as parents from what age the content shown is suitable.
However, children and young people can also come across real depictions of violence online. An experience report from Juuuport clearly shows how differently young people deal with violent videos online and can make it easier for you to start the conversation.
Talk to your child about possible negative experiences online. Show them the reporting and blocking functions on the relevant platforms and discuss how algorithms select content. Also explain how to ‘maintain’ or reset this content to keep your child’s online experience safer and healthier. Talk about what it means when photos or videos have a ‘sensitive content warning’ and what your child should do if this happens. Also find out about the legal regulations for the protection of minors in the media and about technical protection options via apps and settings for your child on devices or in individual services.
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
Many parents ask themselves this question at the beginning of the vacation weeks. The answer is not so easy to give. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Appropriate screen time depends on your child’s age, stage of development and needs – so it’s an individual decision. Talking to other parents can help, but no two children and families are the same and media rules can vary accordingly.
Set rules for screen and media time depending on what media your child uses and how well they can handle it.
Shared media use and conversations about the experiences will help you to assess this well. The form of use should also play a role: So how does your child spend their time? Are they finding out about a topic that is currently of particular interest to them? Are they playing games, watching series or endlessly scrolling through social media feeds? Are they alone?
Media offer us the opportunity to inform ourselves, to be inspired, to interact with others, to distract ourselves from our hectic everyday lives – but they can also stress us out or even burden us. Especially during the vacations, it can be good to take a break from the often packed and tightly structured daily routine of school, sports clubs or music lessons. Using media can help your child relax and stay in touch with friends. However, a balance is important, such as playing indoors and outdoors, sports, arts and crafts or spending time with friends and family.
Media rules are more likely to be accepted if they are made together with your child. Talk together about what media and content your child uses, when, how and why. Also think about your own media use, as parents act as role models. Establish common media rules for the whole family. Deviations during the vacations or at weekends are okay! Rules must fit your child’s development and needs as well as your everyday family life so that they can be adhered to.
You can find out more about media rules and screen time in these Elternguide.online articles and videos:
https://www.elternguide.online/regeln-fuer-die-mediennutzung-in-der-familie/
https://www.elternguide.online/medienregeln-fuer-schulkinder/
https://www.elternguide.online/der-staendige-streit-um-medienzeiten-ab-wann-ist-es-zu-viel/
https://www.elternguide.online/wann-ist-viel-zu-viel-zwischen-sucht-und-extremer-mediennutzung/
Can’t find an answer to your question? Ask your personal questions about your child’s media use directly and conveniently using the messenger service via WhatsApp or Threema. You can find more information here.
Jamie is 13 years old, an unremarkable boy who leads an average life. Until one night he kills a classmate. The investigating police officers quickly find themselves in an atmosphere at Jamie’s school that is characterized by exaggerated images of masculinity, bullying, hostility and numerous allusions to the incel scene.
This is the story of Adolescence, a series that was released on Netflix in 2025 and made big waves. Because teenagers and young men can also come into contact with incel ideology online – and that is extremely problematic.
“Incel” is a mixture of the English words “involuntary” and “celibate” (“sexually abstinent”). This is how men who do not have romantic relationships with women describe themselves and suffer as a result. The term was originally coined in an online self-help group for shy people. In the meantime, however, it has developed into an ideology that has become increasingly radicalized.
Incels turn their frustration into hatred of women. They want a society in which women are subjugated and men are in charge – an extreme patriarchy. In forums and on social media platforms, they spread tips on how to be an ‘alpha male’, i.e. a particularly dominant “strong man” who manipulates and subjugates women. The advice ranges from seemingly harmless ‘fitness tips’ to clearly misogynistic strategies.
There are often overlaps with the far-right scene, which represents a similarly conservative gender image. One very well-known figure is Andrew Tate, who reaches millions of young followers on X, Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. With provocative statements and a conspicuous lifestyle – fast cars, expensive watches, women as a “status symbol” – he conveys to young people that masculinity means dominance and power.
The radical ideology has already resulted in several crimes – harassment, abuse and even murder of women. In the USA, Canada and Europe, there have been cases in which perpetrators have explicitly referred to the Incel scene. Authorities therefore now classify it as a security-relevant phenomenon.
Young people experience insecurity and self-doubt, especially in their youth, and go in search of role models – including online. If they come across incel groups, this can initially seem fascinating. The men present themselves as strong, confident and successful – and promise that their followers can become like them too.
There seems to be understanding, community and simple solutions here, especially for shy or lonely boys. “Someone finally understands me here” is how some young people describe the feeling when they come across videos or forums. The problematic and violence-glorifying ideas often only emerge later and are difficult to expose in catchy clips.
Social networks can amplify this effect: Anyone who comes into contact with such content is shown more and more of it by algorithms. The impression is created that this world view is “normal” and widespread. Memes, short clips and even secret emoji codes convey messages that parents are often unable to recognize. In this way, the scene can polarize and radicalize very quickly.
Self-worth, interaction with one another, gender images and values – all of these things are questioned and renegotiated in adolescence. Young people are looking for guidance and role models. It is important that they first find these at home and in their immediate environment. Therefore, make a conscious effort to treat each other with respect. Talk about your values and strengthen your child’s self-confidence. This is the best protection against turning to dubious role models.
If your child has already come into contact with content from the incel scene, remain open, interested and sensitive. Ask what interests or appeals to them, talk about issues and insecurities – and show understanding instead of judging. This is the only way to keep the conversation going.
It is also helpful:
And: If you have the impression that you are not getting anywhere yourself, get help – from trusted people, psychological professionals or services such as the Nummer gegen Kummer. Schools, youth welfare offices or advice centers can also provide support.
Who is allowed to do what with media and for how long? These issues come up in every family sooner or later and not infrequently cause stress and arguments. Rules on media use can help create a structure and avoid conflicts. These can be discussed by parents and children together and recorded in a contract. The online tool for a media usage contract presented here — an offer by klicksafe and the Internet-ABC — is suitable for this purpose.
The tool guides you step by step to the finished paper. You can choose from two age groups (6-12 years and 12+) and choose a title design, a mascot and a background. All the rules you select are automatically inserted like building blocks, so it’s easy to keep track of them all. Each module can be edited individually. Of course, you can also insert your own rules. At the end save the document, then it can be completed at another time. You can also create multiple contracts for different children.
Use the building blocks as a suggestion to start a conversation in your family about media use. Some possible rules you may not have thought about, others are already self-evident. Set priorities, because the tool offers very many ideas that do not all have to be implemented. There are several types of rules:
A contract is nothing more than written down rules that have been agreed upon. The advantage is that you can always look at it and remember it.
A special feature is that rules can also be set for parents. For example, parents can commit to not using the cell phone even at dinner, or to using adult media content only when children are not present. Because rules are easier for children to understand if everyone has to follow them and you set a good example.
You are reading a story to your child and suddenly the phone beeps to announce a new WhatsApp message. What do you do? Do you automatically reach for your smartphone or do you read the message later when the child is asleep?
Such situations probably exist in every family. When the little son then reaches for the smartphone, it is said: “That’s not for you yet!”.
Be aware that parents and also other adults have an important role model function for children. Children experience how you, as their closest caregivers, deal with digital media and orient themselves to this. This is how children learn how the world works and how to behave in certain situations. Your behavior therefore has a major impact on how your child uses media themselves. By actively setting an example of what good media use can look like, you help your child learn to use smartphones and the like independently, sensibly and consciously.
Especially for younger children, parents are number one. It is particularly important for babies and toddlers to recognize your attention through direct eye contact and to establish a good bond. When dad is constantly looking at his smartphone, it’s not possible. Children, even at a young age, notice this. The older children get, the more they emulate you. In toddlerhood, they reach for daddy’s smartphone or speak into a brick that has a similar shape. They realize early on how important this device is for adults or older siblings.
Create a good basis for a reflective approach to media right from the start. Keep the smartphone on silent in your pocket when you play with your child, so that they don’t get the impression that the smartphone is always more important. Later, your child may behave the same way. If it does get pulled out, explain to your child why.
There are certainly moments when the smartphone is needed to take a nice photo of your offspring. Capture beautiful moments with the camera! But think about how often that has to be. After all, your child would rather look you in the eye than constantly at the smartphone in front of your face.
Spending time together with media is also part of family life. Introduce your child to media slowly and choose age-appropriate content. However, such media experiences should always alternate with media-free times.
In all of this, be aware of your role as a role model!
